Private Equity

Would not be caught dead in that warehouse of mediocrity on the UES.The Carlyle Group co-founder is a man of refinement and taste who is more or less single-handedly preserving America’s cultural heritage, such as it is. But assuming Warren Buffett’s glittering eyes were pointed in his direction when he compared Berkshire Hathaway to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and others as “porn shop owners” who will slap a pair of bigger tits on a painting before selling it to the first guy in a raincoat to come along, Rubenstein isn’t having it, and said as much yesterday. If Berkshire Hathaway’s a big fancy museum on Fifth Avenue, then private equity firms—any, apparently—are an even bigger, fancier museum! A former royal palace! In Paris! Read more »

Squatters’ Real-Estate Speculation Fighters’ Rights!

Last year, Tony James argued that private-equity firms should fight their bad reputations with a rebranding effort. But “clarity equity” just never took off, because, you know, it was really stupid.

Now, James’ firm may have another rebranding crisis on their hands after buying up 40,000 foreclosed properties in Barcelona. Because Italian ecological economics professors who aren’t paying for the six-bedroom, two-swimming pool houses to protest Spanish banks’ roles in the country’s economic crisis (also: to live in six-bedroom, two-swimming pool houses in Barcelona gratis) aren’t just going to stop doing so because Tony James says they can’t anymore because these nice people who will pay rent would like to. Read more »

For nearly 20 years, ISIS Equity Partners has chugged along without it or anyone else giving its name a second thought. It sounded great. Classical. Timeless. Redolent of god-like powers. Then, a certain terrorist organization picked a name that has, for ISIS, the unfortunate coincidence of, when translated into English and acronymized, being exactly the same.

Now, ISIS needs a new name. But, as we’ve discussed from time to time, the proliferation of alts. firms has led to a paucity of good new names. So before ISIS throws up its hands and calls itself “Not A Fucking Bloodthirsty Terrorist Operation Capital Management,” perhaps you’d like to lend them a helping hand. Read more »

Blackstone Is Taking A Break From Russia

Well, not so much a break as a permanent hiatus from repeatedly banging its head against an increasingly hard wall. Read more »

P.E. Firms Are Gonna Need A Bigger Shovel

We’re at $1.141 trillion and counting. Read more »

Italian private equity honcho Andrea Bonomi’s got a couple of weeks to decide how much crazy signing he’s willing to do to keep the Club, purged of proletarians, out of the hands of the Chinese. Read more »

This may be a miscalculation. Read more »

A Friday ruling by the Delaware Supreme Court is certainly good news for buyout artists. But it will not entirely neuter plaintiffs’ lawyers seeking to torpedo their deals. Read more »