Results tagged “Clusterfucks” from Dealbreaker
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G^M = B^K?
Mar 05, 2009, 9:58am
Posted by Equity Private
As we mentioned in the Opening Bell, GM is staring default and potentially bankruptcy in the face ("we actually need about $30 billion"). A lot of light and noise has been emanating from GM's general direction for several weeks now,...
Top Ten Dear Investor Letters (Know Your Enemy Edition)
Dec 29, 2008, 3:05pm
Posted by Equity Private
In the topsy-turvy world of contrite investment apology, split-second recognition of the language in a "Dear Investor" letter bearing bad tidings can mean the difference between slow malingering death in the face of debilitating investor lockups, or a quick escape...
You Are A Big Bunch Of Thieves And Liars And I'm Not Inviting You To My Birthday Party
Posted in a horse walks into a bar, Dec 19, 2008, 3:54pm
Posted by Equity Private
"Your inferiority sickens me. My superiority makes it all but impossible even to endure knowledge of your existence. There is, however, at least this: all your scumbaggery makes you the prefect target for my indignant ire, my evolutionary perfection. Even...
Bankruptcy Is Not An Option (Except When It Is)
Dec 05, 2008, 3:45pm
Posted by Equity Private
The Chrysler hire of Jones Day for Armageddon counsel is looking less and less like a bluff. (Not that we thought it was to begin with, but not that we didn't either). With Congress looking unlikely to just rubber stamp...
Chrysler Hires Jones Day As Bankruptcy Counsel
Dec 05, 2008, 12:52pm
Posted by Equity Private
No doubt this is timed to dodge the bulk of the hearings. Bear in mind, of course, that this is not unusual even for a firm that doesn't eventually end up in Chapter 11, but wants to be prepared for...
Endless Love: Continued Liveblogging Of The Big Three
Dec 05, 2008, 12:10pm
Posted by Equity Private
It was pretty dull until just now: Rep. Paul Kanjorski: Hey, Nardelli, why the hell isn't Cerberus sending you any of the $24 billion they have if you have any chance of surviving? Corker had you people figured out yesterday....
There Are journalists And There Are Journalists
Dec 01, 2008, 10:02am
Posted by Equity Private
See, when Robert Rubin publicly scolds investors for taking on too much risk, while simultaneously using his position on Citi's Board of Directors to urge more risk taking at the bank, a lesser financial journalist might see that as a...
And They're Not Coming Back
Nov 26, 2008, 10:03am
Posted by Equity Private
That giant sucking sound you hear is your hedge fund liquidating. Or, it is if you are Ross Perot. The former presidential hopeful's fund Parkcentral Global Hub Ltd., had apparently levered up in a big way and the unwinding is...
Obama Live Blog (Again)
Nov 25, 2008, 12:06pm
Posted by Equity Private
12:00: Again? 12:06: Don't worry. This is NOT all I've got. I've got more. I'm just not telling you what yet. Questions. Q. You know there is just one president at a time, right? That president is Barack Obama George...
Citigroup Schmittygroup
Nov 24, 2008, 4:49pm
Posted by Equity Private
Bloomberg is trying to play off the biggest two day market gain since 1987 on the Citirescue. Hogwash, we say. Only the revealing of Obama's Economic Superfriends could have such an impact. 58% gain on a loan guarantee? Next think...
Obama Live Blog
Nov 24, 2008, 12:07pm
Posted by Equity Private
12:08: Late as usual. The country is in an economic crisis. (Really?) Actually, it's a global crisis. We need Tim. (Chant in background: Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!) Larry is the starving middle-class guy's fat, white, rich guy. (Give up some...
Feed Us. Or Else
Nov 14, 2008, 10:08am
Posted by Equity Private
Your mother told you not to bring those filthy things inside, but you snuck them in anyhow. Now, blind, helpless, cold, foul smelling and featherless, the screaming, greedy mouths of the GSEs seem to gape endlessly, never satisfied and eager...
Everyone In The Pool!
Nov 11, 2008, 2:38pm
Posted by Equity Private
Note to Federal Housing Finance Agency: 1. If, as an organization responsible for several trillion dollars in assets, you put an individual who can barely say his own name without a stutter behind the podium during your CNBC covered press...
DealBreaker Cuts GM Price Target to -$5.50...
Nov 10, 2008, 12:24pm
Posted by Equity Private
...that should get it to trade at around $2.15. General Motors Corp. plummeted as much as 31 percent after a Deutsche Bank AG analyst downgraded the shares and cut the price target to zero. GM lost $1.03 to $3.33 at...
Credentialed Experts
Nov 07, 2008, 2:21pm
Posted by Equity Private
Now, it seems, the same jobs data that hit oil prices with a vengeance just decided that it would be better if we boosted oil by slapping the dollar around hard for a round or two. Either that, or Reuters...
Have Fun Storming The Citadel (Part II)
Nov 07, 2008, 9:03am
Posted by Equity Private
Citadel was rather firm in issuing unflagging and unqualified denials relating to any persistent rumors that had been swirling around about the firm. These started to become more and more acute in the last two weeks. It was said they...
The Patron Saint Of Lost Causes
Nov 06, 2008, 2:26pm
Posted by Equity Private
Who can possibly make an argument that the "big three" are anything but the Terri Schiavo of the United States public markets? They have been on life support so long and at such cost as to defy reason, other than...
Damn The Markets, Full Speed Ahead
Oct 31, 2008, 1:43pm
Posted by Equity Private
Oil is down. The markets are rallying. Let's build more Trucks and SUVs! Brilliant, man. Brilliant! Gutsy contrarian play if ever I saw one! Ford Lays Bet on New Truck By Rehiring 1,000 Workers [The Wall Street Journal]...
That Will Show Them!
Oct 28, 2008, 8:27am
Posted by Equity Private
Iceland's central bank Tuesday pushed its key interest rate up to a record high of 18% from 12%, reversing a hefty rate cut earlier in the month. [...] Trade in the Icelandic krona is at a virtual standstill and is...
Wingnut Monday
Oct 20, 2008, 12:46pm
Posted by Equity Private
We didn't want you to miss the joy that was Rosa DeLauro's (D-CT) hearing performance today. Since CNBC has disappeared her video, we'll give you the next best thing. One of her past performances. (Ignore totally the political content of...
