• Diversions

    M&A Country Music: I Love This Deal

    “I Love This Deal” may not be on the lips of very many bankers and private equity dealmakers these days. With credit crunchy and the M&A pipeline running dry, there’s not a lot of deals to love. But the folks over at Headwaters MB have decided to lighten up an otherwise ugly week with a […]

    / Jul 10, 2008 at 4:07 PM
  • Diversions

    One Liners: Quick Hits For A Quiet Valentines Day

    • What Ben and Hank watched to get psyched up for today’s Capitol Hill hearing. • Is MainStreet.com the worst idea ever? Or is Portfolio just super-psyched not to be the newest kid on the street anymore? • MBIA wants you to trust the accuracy of their internal risk analysis and forget you ever heard […]

    / Feb 14, 2008 at 1:36 PM
  • Diversions

    Douchebag Defined: The Flowchart

    If someone needs to explain to you why this is appropriate for DealBreaker, you probably shouldn’t be reading this at all. (Via Gawker)

    / Feb 13, 2008 at 9:41 AM
  • Diversions

    Best. Weekend. Ever.

    Wes: Yo, dude! What did you do this weekend? JP: Same old shit, man. You know? Chewed some ice, waterboarded myself. This message brought to you directly from subprime America.

    / Jan 31, 2008 at 10:17 AM
  • Diversions

    The Revenge of The Smokers: Hoax Firing of Non-Smokers Marks New Phase of Hostilities

    The campaign to demonize smoking has scored so many victories that many of us now live in occupied territory and have begun to sympathize with the captors. It’s the smoking version of Stockholm Syndrome. Where once we were outraged by smoking bans in saloons we now find ourselves enjoying the absence of the scent of […]

    / Jan 15, 2008 at 1:27 PM
  • Diversions

    Tom Wolfe: Chicago Is The New New York Or Maybe New York Is The New Chicago

    It’s hard to believe that it’s been twenty years since “Bonfire of the Vanities” was published. Much of what was groundbreaking in Wolfe’s novel has now entertained the common culture so that it is almost hard to appreciate how original his tale of the moral mayhem into which we were descending was when it was […]

    / Dec 10, 2007 at 4:25 PM
  • Diversions

    Repeal Day

    Today we mark a happy day for our Republic–the repeal of the dreaded prohibition amendment 74 years ago. A demon-spawn of progressive error thinking, prohibition plagued the nation for 13 long years. It was a colossal policy failure on every level, failing to produce any of the results that its supporters had claimed for it. […]

    / Dec 5, 2007 at 3:05 PM
  • continuing education, Diversions

    You Don’t Have To Call Him Merle Hazard Anymore

    Hey, remember Merle Hazard? The guy who sings the best ever country song about mortgage-backed securities, derivatives and leveraged buyouts? Well, the other day the New York Times profiled him, revealing his secret identity as a mild mannered money manager. “Mr. Hazard, to be technical, has another identity, as Jon Shayne, a 46-year-old money manager […]

    / Nov 20, 2007 at 12:55 PM
  • Diversions

    Breaking News: Most Important Story Of Day Is Called Untrue

    The most important financial story of the day has been called into question. Hot shot hottie CNBC producer Stephanie Landsman—who is apparently well connected with other members of her species—spoke with Gisele Bundchen’s manager, who told her that the supermodel isn’t siding with Warren Buffett as a U.S. dollar bear after all. We were about […]

    / Nov 5, 2007 at 4:49 PM
  • Diversions

    Welcome To The Subprime Mortgage Meltdown

    You can check out any time you like but you can never leave. (Warning: link plays music and contains at least one brief image which a reader has said is potentially NSFW.)

    / Oct 30, 2007 at 12:55 PM
  • Diversions

    More Reporting On The Financial Analysis of Golddigging

    “In the age of ultra-sensitivity to sexual harassment, people might think that this guy’s response about women being depreciating assets is not exactly how they want their firm to be perceived by the public,” said John Carney, editor of DealBroker.com. –BBC News We totally have to remember to check out that guy who writes for […]

    / Oct 10, 2007 at 11:16 AM
  • Diversions

    Stand Up Economics

    Extremely geeky but very funny.

    / Oct 3, 2007 at 1:50 PM
  • Diversions

    Turning Every Californian Into A Quant?

    One of the persistent education trends in recent years has been the ratcheting up of graduation standards in high schools. The end of social promotion, piling on language, science and math requirements and stacking standardized tests on top of standardized tests. Part of this is a natural reaction to the realization that our teachers have […]

    / Oct 2, 2007 at 10:25 AM
  • Diversions

    Putting DealBreaker On The Map

    Apparently we’re “snickerers.” We like to think we’re more belly-laughers. But we like this description of why DealBreaker is important: “Because every classroom needs a kid in the back row, throwing spitballs.” Sorry. We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s back up. Market Mover Felix Salmon has posted “An Interactive Guide to the Econoblogosphere.” It maps […]

    / Sep 27, 2007 at 1:48 PM
  • Diversions

    The Finance Company That Makes You Want To Go “Wooo!”

    The brightest news in the credit markets today isn’t the potential cracks in the wall against credit for the big private equity buyouts. It’s the launch of a new financing agency, which is offering home loans, auto loans, and loan loans. As we say in poker tournaments, a new power is heard from. The latest, […]

    / Sep 13, 2007 at 1:42 PM
  • Diversions

    New Infinite Leverage Derivative Products
    Email Pokes Fun At Derivatives

    Many investors skeptical of highly structured and highly leveraged financial products and frustrated by the recent performance of some of the more highly leveraged hedge funds, got a bit of light-hearted fun in their email box today when a missive arrived announcing a new product: “Constant Obligation Leveraged Originated Structured Oscillating Money Bridged Asset Guarantees, […]

    / Aug 13, 2007 at 3:27 PM
  • Diversions

    When BFFs Aren’t

    It’s Bess and Muffie. We won’t pretend that Equity Private is even here in spirit, because the last time we did that, we were taken to task over “possibly jeopardizing [her] position, since the higher-ups even started sensing [she] might’ve been named in a blog post” and so on and so forth (to be honest, […]

    / May 7, 2007 at 10:43 AM
  • Diversions

    Sundae Strike (and write-offs)

    Hello, everyone, Bess and Muffie here (and Equity Private in spirit). You might have noticed there was a drop off in posts today. Many of you may have questions about it. Unfortunately, we’ve been advised by counsel not to talk about these matters publicly. Bess will likely be back in full capacity on Monday, but […]

    / May 4, 2007 at 4:55 PM
  • Diversions, TV

    Sex & The Managing Director

    Think Conde Nast’s Portfolio meets Sex and the City. At least that’s how we imagine the pitch meetings went when Darren Star pitched his new show, Cashmere Mafia, which is about four professional women in New York City. But where SATC emphasized the relationships of the women (it was, after all, based upon a Candace […]

    / May 1, 2007 at 10:02 AM
  • Diversions, video

    Investors Regain An Appetite For Risk

    Apparently, it tastes nothing like chicken.

    / Apr 24, 2007 at 3:52 PM
  • Banks, Diversions, HSBC

    HSBC: Let’s Live It

    Can this be for real? We hope so. It would make a very nice theme song to the HSBC sitcom we’ve been planning.

    / Apr 13, 2007 at 2:54 PM
  • Diversions

    Masters of the Universe Drinking Game

    The best part of yesterday’s extra-special DealBook on Dead Trees (DBODT, pronounced “De-Bod-Tea”) section of the New York Times wasn’t just that it gave you something extra not to recycle. It was that Masters of the Universe chart. DealBook described it as a portrait of the ecosystem of our contemporary dealmakers but we thought it […]

    / Apr 5, 2007 at 4:35 PM
  • Diversions

    Stock Or Not?

    We post this with a firm warning. We’re finding Stock or Not highly, highly addictive. The way it works is that you try to guess whether a given chart is a stock or not. On one side is a real stock, and on the other is a randomly generated chart. We find we’re fooled by […]

    / Apr 2, 2007 at 10:51 AM
  • Diversions

    News For April Fools

    Four bits of, uhm, news from yesterday. Footnoted.org Bought Out. First, word came of a buyout proposal from footnoted.org, the well-known website where Michelle Leder reports on executive pay and perks often buried away in their financial disclosures. Apparently, footnoted has been purchased by Microsoft’s public relations firm. Under the terms of the deal Michelle […]

    / Apr 2, 2007 at 9:42 AM
  • Diversions

    DealBreaker: The Official Website “Team Karen”

    Your favorite “Wall Street Tabloid” gets mentioned in the most recent issue of GQ. Apparently we’re Karen from The Office’s favorite blog. Are You A Pam Guy or Karen Guy? [LifeInTheOffice]

    / Feb 26, 2007 at 4:01 PM
  • Diversions

    Not To Mention More Shorts Than A Convention of Hooter Girls

    We do most of our reading of the financial press online. Which means we occasionally miss little gems like the TradeKing advertisement above. Fortunately, CopyRanter picked up on it for us. He also suggests some alternative ad copy: • I got more Liquidity than a Golden Shower Gang Bang. • I got bigger Gaps than […]

    / Feb 15, 2007 at 2:43 PM
  • Diversions, video

    Ninja Stockbroker: Best First Person Action Game Ever?

    Okay. If a little gratuitous Gret-Gret flogging didn’t quite do it for you this morning, here’s something a little lighter. We particularly like the special move “Margin Call.”

    / Feb 12, 2007 at 9:33 AM
  • Diversions

    You Have Two Cows…

    We have a rule against dating people who are too clever or funny. We like to be the bright ones who make everyone smile and laugh. We want to date someone good looking and wealthy enough to buy the drinks while we tell the funny stories. That’s how we feel about business columnists too, which […]

    / Feb 9, 2007 at 2:29 PM

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