• 06 Sep 2007 at 10:08 AM
  • Divorce

Married People Can’t Do Anything Right

wings.jpgThe second husband and wife team to be accused of insider trading broke down and pleaded guilty yesterday afternoon, conclusively proving that there is no good end to this arcane institution (“You promised me ill-gotten gains and, like so many other instances in this prison sentence of a marriage, you disappointed me!”). Jennifer Wang, a former Morgan Stanley VP and Ruben Chen, a former ING Investment Management analyst each pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy and three counts of insider trading. The couple were arrested May 10 for trading on information about Town and Country Trust that Wang had learned through her employer, on which she and her spouse had “earned” more than $600,000 from December 2005 to March 2007.
“I feel deeply sorry for my conduct,” Wang said in court. “I understand what I did was wrong.” I should’ve married Josh Weinstein when I had the chance. Instead, I dumped him thinking, “I can do better than this!” and ended up with this guy [motions to Chen], who couldn’t properly execute a scam if his life depended on it, and never takes out the trash. You think married life as depicted by Everybody Loves Raymond looks bad? Step into my life. ELR is child’s play.
Wang and Chen are the second married couple to plead guilty to insider trading this year, following in the footsteps of Mr. and Mrs. Chris (and Randi, also of Morgan Stanley) Collotta. There’s also a third husband and wife team in the mix, but their names escape us at the moment. Adorably, these incidents have been deemed “pillow-talk” cases, although, personally, the illegal, dangerous information shared seems more like stuff you’d use to initiate things, rather than cool off. Unless of course we’re talking about “pillow-talk” as a segue to round two, in which case, we stand corrected.
Couple Plead Guilty in ‘Pillow-talk’ Case [CFO.com]

  • 27 Aug 2007 at 12:25 PM
  • Divorce

Not Good Advice

Pomeranian.jpgWe’re all for reducing the institutionalized love between a man and a woman down to dollars and cents and “fuck, you, I get the Pomeranian, you get the kids!” That should be obvious at this point. And, also, far be it from us to take issue with the math skills of others when we’ve never professed to be number-inclined people ourselves. But when it comes to protecting your assets, we do what’s necessary. So: New York’s advice today re: bear market divorces maybe ought to be avoided.
As you well know, unless a prenuptial agreement was signed, divorce laws in New York state that each spouse is entitled to half of all income earned. According to Nancy Chemtob, the lawyer consulted for the piece, if you think you’ll your salary and bonus will be smaller next year, you should get out “now!” (like, today), when you still have a decent amount of coin. Because “why be forced by the courts to split less money”? Well—maybe so that you can keep as much for yourself (and wives 2, 3, 4, 5) as possible, and out of the hands of that money-grubbing whore? Regarding the recommendation to call it quits *before* you get laid off by Bear (Global Alpha, etc), attorney Susan Bender told New York: “we have some pretty savvy judges in New York,” who may be onto your game, aptly named, “The fact that I found this advice to be sound is reason enough for me to get nailed by my ex and banned from ever working with money—my own and other people’s—again.”
Bear Market? Dump Your Wife [NYM]
Our own advice: tweak ever so slightly so that the marital (-dissolving) counsel is directed at the wives of Wall Street. Then you’ve got gospel.

  • 19 Jun 2007 at 3:26 PM
  • Divorce

Divorce, Hedge Fund Style

HedgeFundDivorce.jpgAs it turns out, managing a successful hedge fund can be fatal to your marriage. And when hedge fund marriages blow-up, they tend to blow up big, according to the Financial Times’ Brooke Masters.
“The flood of cash into so-called hedge fund communities in New York, Connecticut and California has proved fatal to many marriages — and a windfall for lawyers, psychiatrists and forensic accountants who specialize in the superrich,” Masters writes.
The divorce’s tend to be contentious affairs because of the high stakes involved, Scott Weston, a Los Angeles matrimonial lawyer, tells Masters.
“People are fighting for their ultimate rights. They’re not satisfied with $20 million, $30 million. They want half. Why not spend a couple more million dollars [on lawyers] to get $20 million more?” Weston says.
The story has some good dirt, including on hedge fund divorcee who demanded $800k a month in child support from her former spouse to supplement her $7 million a year income. She eventually had to settle for an extra $100k a month. And a lifetime of sorrow.

When Wall Street couples cash out
[Financial Times via Los Angeles Times. Hat tip: Crossing Wall Street]

  • 13 Nov 2006 at 9:37 AM
  • Divorce

Netscape Founder Jim Clark’s $125M Divorce

jimclark.gifThe Palm Beach Post reported Friday on Netscape founder Jim Clark’s divorce from his wife of 15 years, Nancy Rutter, a former Forbes reporter. She’s getting $100 million in cash and investments, some real estate, part ownership of a private jet and various jewelry, furniture and “private effects.” What’s he getting: well, everything else and a 20-something Australian girlfriend. Clark tells the Palm Beach Post, “I’m not getting married again. Or if I do, it’ll be with a pre-nup.”

Ex-wife of Internet mogul strikes it rich
[PalmBeachPost via Page Six]

  • 16 Oct 2006 at 11:25 AM
  • Divorce

Ellen Barkin: Now This Is What I Call A Divorce!

ellen barkin.jpgEllen Barkin, erstwhile wife of Ronald Perelman, No. 40 on Forbes’ 2006 list of the 400 richest Americans, sold jewelry accumulated during her marriage last night at Christie’s for a staggering $20.4 million. Yes, yes, we’re all very excited, though probably no one more than Forbes, who seems to have gotten its panties in a bunch over one of two things, we can’t decide which– the record-breaking sale or the fact that it came up with this KICK-ASS headline: Barkin Bling Brings Big Bucks.