This Is Serious

jamescayne.jpgIt’s no secret that Jimmy Cayne’s fear of the media has increased three-fold since the Journal‘s hit on his drug problem came out, and he began dramatically increasing the amount of PCP he was lacing his pot with supposedly as a coping mechanism but really just for fun. It’s also no secret that Jimmy Cayne isn’t terribly concerned about the credit crisis situation, and its various effects on humans and shellfish, which, most significantly for people, is the death of courtesanship, and for crabs who in better times would’ve been eaten by Stephen Schwarzman, longer life spans. Not concerned that is, until things start to hit a little too close to home.
We’re referring, of course, to the increasingly weak dollar’s impingement on Cayne’s ability to get high. Speaking to the Post on the promise of anonymity, Cayne told Page Six that “Most of the high-end marijuana sold here comes from Canada. With the Canadian dollar becoming more valuable against the US dollar, the dealers have had to raise prices about 25 percent, [and in some cases, by a whopping 50, making me RUE the day I enrolled my guy in night econ classes at Baruch College.]” What’s more, he got screwed royally last week while buying some chips during the intermission of a Pink Floyd laser light show in London due to the pound’s assault on the dollar, and because he didn’t realize that an order of chips to the Brits is a basket of fries. A source–named Carney, who was hiding in the brush the whole time–tells Dealbreaker that Cayne was so angry he barked, “This is why I never go to the theater” and tried to storm out in a huff but couldn’t find the exit. The bottom line is that something has to be done stat, or Jimmy’s going to follow-through on his threats to “do something drastic,” like kidnap Ben Bernanke and tickle-torture him ’til he makes things right, or, more probably, develop an addiction to Oxycontin.
Stoners Suffer [NYP]

  • 24 Aug 2007 at 10:53 AM
  • drugs

This Is Your Brain On New Improved Hydromorphone

eggs.jpg Neuromed announced Wednesday that it received $53 million for some advanced opioid studies, from some Canucks, other venture firms and that guy in the basement next door. The company is developing a once-daily treatment of hydromorphone, a pain-killer up to 10 times stronger than morphine.
Hydromorphone only exists in the U.S. as an immediate-release drug (Dalaudid) and must be administered many times a day, which either provides awkward social contact with caretakers for those in terminal pain or forces embarrassing frequent bathroom breaks for the recreational user.
Neuromed dished out $30 million in April to get exclusive marketing rights to extended-release hydromorphone and immediately placed calls to Rush Limbaugh’s ad-sales guy.
Companies are especially careful how they market the release mechanism of their incredibly powerful narcotics. The whole “release” debacle was one of things that got OxyContin maker Purdue Pharma in $600 million worth of trouble. Keep that in mind next time you see an ad with either a translucent hydromorphoned butterfly terrorizing someone while they sleep or a product easily confused with a Tylenol gelcap.
Neuromed gets funds to develop painkiller [Philadelphia Inquirer]

  • 17 Jul 2007 at 11:12 AM
  • drugs

Is This Like the 80s?

cocaine-drink.jpg Pointed out by Banker’s Ball, if it seems like the market boom is never running out of energy, it may be because the people running it (or at least the people propping up the people running it) never run out of energy, courtesy of the best pick-me-ups bonuses can buy.
One of the only major differences from any other drug-infused Wall Street boom is that this time around the clients are taking turns blowing rails off the hot analyst’s chest. Alden Cass, a Wall Street drug shrink, gloats that times are good, and that clients are paying hundreds of dollars an hour to whine about their OxyContin and opiate addictions. The key is feigning a real injury, like a collapsed nasal cavity, from golf.
The bankers still go for a traditional Red Bull and coke. MSN, known for its inroads in the drug community, found a smack dealer to comment (not Ballmer):

Juan Rodriguez, convicted of selling drugs to investment bankers and other professionals, said his clients never complained about the price of cocaine, even as it escalated. “My customers were all business individuals,” Rodriguez said, citing Morgan Stanley bankers as among his clients. Morgan Stanley said the company has a strong policy against substance abuse and uses random drug testing.

Wall Street’s bad deal — drug addiction [MSN]

  • 20 Jun 2007 at 2:01 PM
  • drugs

Just Say No (6 Hours Before The Heroin Test)

adds.jpgI’m about to re-report something from Reuters that’s going to blow your fucking mind: bankers do drugs. Yes, taking a cue from the New York Times, the news service notes that there’s a good chance the guy sitting next to you is coked out of his skull right now. No one’s quite sure what begets what—do bankers on blow (Ritalin, Adderall) make profits rise or do high profits cause banker to do blow (Ritalin, Adderall), but they’re pretty sure Wall Street’s constant, overbearing emphasis on making money is “keeping drug dealers busy…ruining careers, tearing apart families,” and causing genocide in the Sudan.
Morgan Stanley spokeswoman Jean Marie McFadden said, “To my knowledge, we have not seen an uptick in drug use,” which sounds incredibly convincing. Convicted drug dealer Juan Rodriguez noted that many of his (“former”) clients “were” Morgan Stanley bankers, who “never complained about the price of cocaine.” And why should they? Morgan Stanley’s Q2 net income jumped 40% from last year to $2.58bn or $2.45 a share. The results handily beat the consensus analyst estimate of $2.01 a share. Morgan Stanley’s Q2 revenue jumped 32% from last year to $11.52bn and beat the analyst estimate of $10.03bn.
Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers, Citigroup, JPMorgan & Chase Co. and Bear Stearns all declined to comment on their drug use.
A hiring manager at one of the reticent five, though, did helpfully point out that while new staff must take a urine test, new hires are allowed to choose when they would like to undergo the cup during a 45-day period prior to their start date. “Our drug test is not so much a test of whether you actually take drugs as it is an intelligence test to see if you can figure out how long it takes to get traces of the drug out of your system,” he said.
Looking to land a position at Goldman but metabolically absent minded? We’ve provided some info. Don’t say we never did anything for you.

Read more »

cocaine_1_190.jpgWith Wall Street surging and a 24-hour global economy, young professionals have the money and the incentive to stay constantly wired.
“I do it every day,” said Kristoff, a European transplant to New York who works in finance and would not give his last name. He said he pays $150 for two grams of cocaine. “If I have to work at 6 in the morning and I have to be on top of the game, I’ll do it. I’ll take a gram of coke and make half a million dollars.”

Let’s set aside the fact that $150 actually seems a little steep for 2 grams, that the Times published a trend piece from twenty years ago, had the gall to write “Coke is the new weed,” and is utterly fucking astounded by all of the “skiing” ads placed on Craigslist, pool our efforts, and find out where Kristoff works, so we can go kill him.
Cocaine: Hidden in Plain Sight [NYT]

  • 01 Dec 2006 at 10:58 AM
  • Citicorp

Citigroup’s Meth Lab Operator

methlab.jpgOur eyes usually skip over items involving drugs like crystal meth. Our people aren’t really smoking meth, are they? Well apparently they are.

Michael Knibb, an information-technology vice president at Citigroup, ran the sophisticated drug operation from the living room of his luxury apartment overlooking the United Nations, said Drug Enforcement Administration officials.
The 37-year-old Knibb – who makes an estimated $250,000 a year – allegedly told authorities that he had decided to make his own methamphetamines because he could not find a reliable drug dealer after moving to New York from Seattle two years ago.

Okay, people. Meth is not an acceptable drug. Not even during the holiday season.
That said, we always thought that the tech guys were on something.
Crystal Palace [New York Post]

Meth ‘lab’ in ‘high’ rise
[Daily News]

  • 20 Sep 2006 at 12:36 PM
  • drugs

Biz School Dean Arrested On Drug Charges

Dean-Anvari.jpgThe government wants you to think that doing drugs will inevitably make you a loser with no friends and no job prospects. Then it goes and arrests the dean of the the Business School of the University of San Diego on drug charges, which kind of disproves that whole drugs will totally ruin your life thing.

A dean at the University of San Diego was arrested and is facing drug charges after authorities say he met with a suspected drug trafficker at an Ohio hotel.
Mohsen Anvari, 57, dean of the University’s School of Business Administration, was taken into custody at the Hilton Inn in Beachwood, Ohio, on Saturday by officers who were conducting an ongoing narcotics investigation, the Beachwood Police Department said.
Anvari was charged with complicity to possess drugs, police said.
Also arrested was 45-year-old Eric M. Edwards of East Cleveland who was being charged with drug trafficking.
Authorities would not say what types of drugs were involved.

Anyone want to guess what drugs were involved? The Business school connection would suggest cocaine. San Diego kind of indicates the pot. The ages of both the dean and his dealer, however, argues for pain-killers. Meanwhile, Iranian origins suggest opium.