Email of the Day

It Was Too Nice A Weekend…

walden 2.JPG If you didn’t make it outside this weekend, you’re either an agoraphobic or an I-banker. The latest farewell email making the rounds comes from an associate (we think, unless analysts now make staffing requests) at UBS, in the Healthcare Group. The individual staffed himself on an important deal in the personal managed care sector, and just walked out, but not before leaving this earnest expression of intent, with the subject “Sorry everyone”:

I’m leaving the bank now.
I’m not made to do this. If I put my mind to something as much as I do here to mindless text editing, copy and pasting, and getting yelled at for stuff other people can’t/won’t/don’t do, I would be much better off. It’s 6:43 a.m. on a Sunday, and I have at least 14 more hours of work to do today that will not be fulfilling, useful, appreciated, recognized, or paid for.
Sorry this is last minute, but it’s just not worth doing more
My blackberry is on my desk
Apparently that failed staffing request was fatal (no, not as in I’m going to kill myself, hehe, I’m just going to go enjoy life). There is no happiness here.
I took all my personal stuff. No one needs to contact me for anything (except for a drink for those of you with my personal number). I will only be at my New York address a few days longer.
Good luck y’all,

Just walk away. Leave town. Simplify. It’s easier than you think.
(all that being said we’re trying to determine if this is real, as there are certain brokers of fake farewells that start chains like this – any UBS Healthcare people want to confirm? tips at dealbreaker dot com)

  • 28 Jun 2007 at 12:38 PM
  • Banks

Hoax Email Claims Banker Quit
But He Tells Us He’s Still At Work

burning bridge 1.jpg The latest email making the rounds through investment banking circles is a bridge burning farewell from a young banker.
“I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium,” the email says.
It sounds like exactly the kind of bold declaration of independence that many young bankers dream of writing but almost never do. So many were applauding the JP Morgan banker whose name appears on the email as the author.
The only problem is that the banker on the email says he didn’t write it. What’s more, he still works at JP Morgan. It appears that the banker (whose name we’re redacting to protect the innocent) is the victim of a hoax, although it’s not clear who is responsible or why he has been singled out.
The email bears more than a family resemblance to a faux-farewell email message written by Upright Citizens Brigade regular and comedy writer Chris Kula. Kula’s original purely comedic farewell is here, although we have to dock him a few points for not having any fun banking scars or chiropractor bills to show for his faux angst.
Read the email that a JP Morgan banker didn’t send after the jump.

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