SAC Capital founder Steve Cohen wins.

Previously: Area Man Threatens To Out-Toilet Stevie Cohen.
Also: Greenwich's Outrageous Fortunes, Greenwich: The New Newport, Only Tackier & Nerdier.

P&Z rejects Simmons Lane mansion plan [Greenwich Time]

Trouble in hedge fund land. Greenwich residents are terrified that would-be new neighbor, Russian millionaire Valery Kogan, will make them look bad (read: poor) by building a proposed 54,000 square foot mansion with two wings, "extensive" subterranean space, and room for up to 300 guests, which will clearly dwarf their own homes, relative shacks compared to the behemoth.

Though local residents claim their protests are merely matters of (a) taste ("It looks like they want to duplicate the Winter Palace here in Greenwich,'' said Leslie McElwreath. "It'll be an eyesore.''), (b) safety ("This is a road where our kids learn to ride bikes, rollerblade, and people take walks,'' said Morris Sachs, a trader at Brevan Howard) and (c) not being summarily drowned while taking part in a pissing contest (``This is going to be a palace on a postage stamp,'' Charles Lee said. ``It's too much."), the truth is much more sordid.

We’ve just heard, as we sometimes do, that Greenwich Capital laid off a bunch of senior guys last night, and will be moving on to the peons this morning. 2.5 months from bonus time—ballsy! As always, we would appreciate if anyone who can definitively confirm or deny the allegations would do so now.

Worth watching just for the clothes.

The Independent’s Chris Walker spent a day out in the hedge fund wonderland of Greenwich, Connecticut. It reminds him of Newport, Rhode Island circa the early days of the last century. Only with less culture, worse taste and more geeks.

A new gilded age? I spent this 4 July in the various palatial Vanderbilt family homes in Newport, Rhode Island. Newport was Greenwich's predecessor 100 years ago, with some 300 mansions at its peak. True, whereas the Vanderbilts spoke French at table and dined in white ties, today's financiers are more often T-shirted geeks who studied physics at college. On the other hand, the building mania that is gripping Greenwich is creating a new Newport. The average price paid for a house in Greenwich last year was $2.5m, but 16 went for over $10m. Many more are built from scratch for even more.

More from Nina Munk's Greenwich piece in the July issue of Vanity Fair (on newsstands next week). The setup:

With its undisturbed views of Long Island Sound and a comfortable commute to Manhattan, Greenwich has long attracted men with brand-new money. A few months ago, one of the main pieces of the original Simmons estate changed hands yet again, this time for $18.5 million. The buyer's identity remains a mystery. Rumor in Greenwich has it he's either a Russian mobster or, more likely, a hedge-fund manager.

To the left is a picture of the man identified by Vanity Fair as the Patient Zero of hedge fund violence against Greenwich architecture.

The first hedge-fund manager to build a big house in Greenwich may have been Paul Tudor Jones II. In 1988, when he was only 33, The Wall Street Journal dedicated a front-page story to Jones, calling him "the most-watched, most-talked-about man on Wall Street." The previous year, with estimated earnings of $80 million to $100 million, Jones was said to have made more money than anyone else on Wall Street, even more than Henry Kravis (who earned an estimated $70 million) and Michael Milken ($60 million). It wasn't long before Town & Country named Jones one of New York's most "eligible and exciting" bachelors.

More after the jump.