• 26 Oct 2007 at 8:58 AM
  • Halloween

Halloween Costumes

Hey, what are you being for Halloween? Bess and I have been invited to a variety of Halloween parties and apparently Halloween falling in the middle of the week means that everyone feels entitled to tell you that you must wear a costume for, like, five days. Horrendous. Or even worse. So, we need your help. What should we dress up as this week.
We’ve got some conceptual ideas but we need your suggestions about how we should make these happen. Please let us know what you think the best ways to dress as the following.
• Credit Crunch.
• Oil roaring to record levels.
• Write downs.
• Ben Bernanke.
• Ben Bernake’s helicopter.
• Slutty Nasdaq.
• Slutty China.
• Slutty Warren Buffett.
• Slutty and Pregnant Becky Quick.
• Maria Bartiromo.
• Opec.
• Free furniture.
• Cheap chocolate.
• Proxy access.

  • 31 Oct 2006 at 2:24 PM
  • Halloween

The Horrors of Halloween

sexycop.jpgHalloween may be the world’s worst holiday. First of all, if people are encouraged to wear costumes where you work, you know that cute girl from recruiting—the one with the still discernable Long Island accent—came in as a “sexy” something or other. Just keep your distance today and remember that sexual harassment laws apply even if she is dressed like a Hooker Cop.
Second, if you’ve got kids, you’re spending the evening trailing them around as they pick up the most loathsome candies imaginable. And then you’re going to spend the rest of the week trying to talk them down off the sugar high, and probably the rest of the year paying for the dental damage incurred.
Third, if you live south of Fourteenth Street in Manhattan, you’ve got that parade to deal with. Which means you won’t be able to get home without combating about ten thousand people who think cross-dressing is an original and daring achievement.
Finally, there are no good Wall Street themed costumes this year. Discernable visages such as Ivan Boesky and Michael Milken are dated. How do you dress like Amaranth or Backdating? Isn’t natural gas invisible?
We guess you could do “A.J.” or “Lucy Gao” or “Aleksey Vayner” but those folks lack a certain, uhm, visual presence required for a good costume. Who can tell the difference between an Aleksey Vayner costume and that douchebag who hated Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid?
What’s the October 31st translation of “Bah-Humbug” anyway?