Ivan Boesky

[Cross-posted from the original on SuperMogul.]
gump.jpg Now a septuagenarian, Ivan Boesky is making a comeback – in film. Disregarding his prior career as an adult film star (his work in “Junk Bondage III – The Downgrade” is groundbreaking), Boesky will be ripping off America’s favorite retard dim bulb, Forest Gump, on the silver screen.
Forrest Gump has had over a decade to age poorly, tickling us in an increasingly more inappropriate place with that feather connoting the limitless possibilities for America’s mentally handicapable. It was divine intervention that somehow prevented a studio from capitalizing on the movie’s huge gross (over $300mm domestic) and quickly churning out sequels in which Gump performs increasingly inspirational feats – Gump cures Jenny’s AIDS by spilling chemicals in a lab, Gump programs the prototype Google search engine by writing an incomprehensible piece of fiction, Gump defeats the terrorists on United flight 93 inadvertently through the use of the flight attendant call button, Gump becomes President (I guess that story’s redundant).
Apparently, there has been a Gump sequel in the works for some time, as Wilson Groom’s follow up to the first Forrest Gump book that inspired the movie has been out since 1995. Gump & Co., based on Groom’s novel, has been in pre-production hell for years, partly because Groom is slightly miffed that he didn’t exactly capture much of the (over) half a billion dollars that the movie earned worldwide. Our prayers of Gump sequel prevention may cease to be answered as the /film blog reports that Forrest Gump 2: Back in the Habit is back in development after a long hiatus, according to a CinemaBlend source. From /film:

Gump & Co takes place several years after the events of the first book/movie. Forrest’s shrimping business has gone bust, and Jenny has died, leaving Forrest to provide for Forrest, Jr., his intelligent, though emotionally distant, son. Forrest’s mother has also died. Jenny occasionally makes an appearance as a sort of guardian angel for Forrest and their son. Gump stumbles through important U.S. events in the 1980s and early 1990s. Some of the events include: Playing football for the New Orleans Saints, selling encyclopedias, working on a pig farm, helping to develop the infamous New Coke, accidentally crashing the Exxon Valdez, helping destroy the Berlin Wall, and fighting in Operation Desert Storm. He meets many celebrities, including Oliver North, the Ayatollah Khomeini, Jim Bakker, Ivan Boesky, Ronald Reagan, Saddam Hussein, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and of course, Tom Hanks.”

I must admit that I first thought this was a joke, and that a narrative containing nothing but a series of serendipitous Gump failures (opposed to the feel-good tripe in the first movie) is the stuff true revenge fantasies (or parodies) are made of (imagine if Jar-Jar was actually decapitated in one of the Star Wars films). Turns out the plot is completely accurate. The plot summary of the /film blurb is taken from Wikipedia, which means you know it’s 100% true! Fortunately the Boesky greeting plot does correspond with the summaries of Groom’s novel on Amazon.
Forrest Gump 2 back in development – [/film]

Ivan Boesky Is Seventy!

ivanboeskybirthday.jpgWe’re not sure how we could have missed out mentioning yesterday’s very special anniversary—the seventieth birthday of Ivan Boesky. Born March 6, 1937 in Detroit, Boesky became a central figure in the most infamous insider trading scandal of the nineteen eighties. He was a arbitrageur who amassed a fortune trading on difference in perceived risk of certain events, largely mergers and acquisitions. He was a prominent figure in New York society, known as a philanthropist and widely hailed as a genius investor. It came as something of a shock to many when he pled guilty to illegal trading. Despite the fame attached to his case—it was all over what was then called “the nightly news” and the front pages of every major newspaper, most especially the Wall Street Journal— served only two years at a federal “country club”-style prison, in part because he testified against former Wall Street colleagues, such as Drexel Burnham Lambert’s Michael Milken.
We didn’t know it back then, but in many ways we were witnessing the creation of the world we live in today. Front page business scandals, muckraking journalists, grandstanding prosecutors, Rudy Giuliani, writer James Stewart, creative use of criminal codes, and even the phrase “insider trading” all became familiar to us thanks, in part to Ivan Boesky.
So, Ivan, we hope you enjoyed your birthday. We hope that glass you raised was from the Chateau Mouton-Rothschild the ‘21’ club has waiting for you in its cellar. Otherwise we might stop by tonight and see if we can get them to serve it to us. You’re seventy now Ivan, the time for letting wine age is well past.

Seema Boesky, Latter Day Scheherazade?

seemasays1.jpgThe AP has just discovered Ivan Boesky’s ex-wife’s essay anthology, Seema Says:

One of the promotional blurbs on the back of the recently published anthology of columnist Seema Boesky’s work says her offerings “have made thousands of readers smile, scratch their heads and wonder.” Indeed. Wonder things like: How fabulous is it to be obscenely rich? What do you talk about over sirloin and champagne when your seven-pound Maltese terrier has impregnated a Bijon? What do you do when geese overrun your own personal orchard? And, seriously, how fabulous is it to be obscenely rich? These and other answers to life’s pressing questions—but mostly the one about being rich—can be found in the oeuvre of Boesky, a columnist for the monthly Westchester Wag magazine, in suburban Westchester County north of New York.

Her Greenwich-based publisher refers to her as “a latter-day Scheherazade” which is either a gross misunderstanding of Scheherazade, or a gross misunderstanding of Seema Boesky. But our Maltese has been overly randy lately, the geese are mucking about the DealBreaker orchard, and our ex-husband is vacationing in minimum security for a few years, so maybe we’ll pick it up.
Of Being Rich, Plastic Surgery, and, Uh, Being Rich… [AP]

Own a Little Piece of Ivan Boesky

boeskyletter.jpg If you’re feeling nostalgic and you’ve got a little over $699 burning a hole in your Brooks Brothers chinos, someone’s eBay-ing a letter from Ivan Boesky to one of his clients (Lyman Bloomingdale of Bloomingdale Properties) at First Manhattan Co., dated January 15, 1969, informing the client of his departure from First Manhattan Co., to work for Technological Investors Management.** People will eBay anything these days. Next up: Michael Milken’s hairpiece.
** We forgot how bad and generic company names were in ’70s. Is the technology managing investors here or the other way around?
Full text of the letter after the jump.
Ivan Boesky, Typed Letter, Signed [eBay]

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