It seems my background check, part of my new-hire process, has pulled up some flags. My postings here on DealBreaker will, therefore, not appear in my name. Whoever that woman in the back office is, she won't add my name to the system until the little issue with the FBI is resolved, so in the meantime I'll just have to make do with this somewhat crippled account.
The great binge-purge cycle of investment bank human resources has drawn, it seems, into its second half. (Maybe we laid off completed a headcount reduction in our IT group this week and no one told me). Be that as it may, I happened across a recent victim of the vomitous expulsion of bankers onto the porcelain sidewalks of Wall Street, and took some time to interrogateinterview the poor soul.
10:49:58 AM equityprivate: I've always been curious about this big bank layoffs and the process. How did you find out? Was it a "pink slip" literally or what?
10:51:27 AM FormerBBEmployee: They call you into a private area, away from where you normally work, and explain what's happened. As for the pink slip, not at all. It's a packet of information that details what you get for being canned.
10:52:26 AM equityprivate: A packet? Like the reverse of a "New Hire" packet? What's in it?
10:53:08 AM FormerBBEmployee: Actually, it is similar to a new hire packet. It goes into what money they owe you, benefits, contacts in H.R. ... Of course, there is no mention of anything being "at will" ...
10:53:44 AM equityprivate: So, there is a... what... printout of what the bank thinks it owes you?
10:54:26 AM FormerBBEmployee: Even better. A legal document they want you to sign. It says what you get, what you get if you sign, and what you were getting.
10:54:49 AM equityprivate: That's insidious.
(See the rest after the jump)