Of course, this hasn’t actually gone through the trouble of actually happening. Yet. It’s just the latest from the warped minds at the Long Or Short Capital blog. The set up is that Lucy Gao takes out a personal ad inviting readers to a “party” that is taking place in her pants. And Aleksey responds. Now if only LOSC had them being chauffeured around by Warren Buffett and Eugene Plotkin cutting in on their dance, this would be the perfect DealBreaker item.
We were especially happy about how LOSC imagines Aleksey Vayner describing the past week of his life.
Before last week, I was basically nothing having only started my own investment fund, won the grand slam of men’s tennis, outdrinken and outskiied Bode Miller in the winter Olympics, won the Nobel peace prize for the charity which I started, held the Street Fighter II machine in my local arcade for 15 straight hours and bedded 5,437 women. This week, I have accomplished so much more and been named the CEO of Vayner Lehman Stern UBS, after I brokered the deal which brought them together in a merger. The key was getting them to focus on my revolutionary “never lose money” investment strategy.
Andy Xie. Andy Xie, Andy Xie, Andy Xie. Hast thou learned nothing from Lucy Gao?
I participated in the panels on commodity and China-India and in some obligatory dinner parties. On Friday night, the Singapore PM invited the speakers at the meetings that Singapore government organized. Trichet, Larry Summers, Paul Volker, Chuck Price, the finance ministers of ASEAN countries were there. No government official from China was there. I guess I was there to make it look like China was represented. The dinner was turned into an Oprah with PM Lee Hsein Long at the center. The topic was on the future of globalization. People fawned him like a prince. Of course, he is. There are two reigning royalties in the world that the Davos crowd kiss up to, Jordan and Singapore. The Davos crowd are Republican on economic issues and Democratic on social issues. Somehow, they mange to put aside their moral misgivings and kiss up to Lee Hsein and Abdullah.
Well that didn’t take long. It’s only been a few days since Lucy Gao’s email went global, and already she’s a t-shirt. There are more in the NYCBuzz store. Our favorite (pictured here) reads: “Lucy Gao kicked me out of the Ritz. (I arrived at 9.01 pm)” Lucy Gao T-Shirts [Cafe Press]
Two emails purportedly from Citigroup intern Lucy Gao have emerged in the aftermath of the world-wide forwarding of her borderline obsessive-compulsive invitation to a birthday party at the Ritz. The first is a thank you to her guests. The second is an attempt to explain her invitation—she claims it was a joke but this could just be spin control.
Please note, we cannot vouch for the authenticity of these emails, although HereIsTheCity is convinced that at least the second one is for real.
Both letters after the jump.
[And, please note, if you have an email from Lucy, please forward it our way. Contributions will be kept strictly anonymous. Tips(at)DealBreaker(dot)com. Thanks!]
We cannot get enough of Lucy Goa, so we were pleased to find this video of our very, very organized gal on YouTube. It’s an introduction to studying engineering at Oxford, and there is very little sign of the military like planning abilities that Lucy demonstrated while interning at Citigroup. Make sure you watch Lucy’s little dance routine at around the five minute mark. [Hat tip: Wall Street Folly]
Oh, and Lucy, if you are out there, please drop us an email. Tips(at)DealBreaker(dot)com.
[Lucy Gao Archives on DealBreaker]
The lovely Lucy Gao has brought Leveraged Sellout out of his long slumber. It seems that the kiss of her mind-scrambling, over-organized, militarily precise birthday invitation has awoken something we didn’t know he had earlier—a heart. We’re not sure that his kinda, sorta racist approach is very likely to work, however.
To be honest, I’m actually usually not that into Oriental girls, but there’s something about you that’s very Zhang Ziyi—your smile, your plate-like face, your surgically created eyelids. You might be the hottest Chinese chick alive. Forgive me for being crass, I just can’t stop thinking about what I would do to you on that daybed, and the possibilities for that toddler’s chair (perspective? I hope not.) in the background are endless.
Investment banks like to hire organized, driven Type-A personalities. But some of these folks take things a little bit far. At Citigroup in London, one young equity analyst has clearly gone over the edge, if the birthday party invitation below is any indication. Not only does she give the precise arrival times for each guest—broken down in 15 minute increments—but she tells them precisely what to wear, exactly what to say to the concierge at the hotel, and the hours during which she will accept “cards and small gifts.”
Below is an excerpt explaining precisely what her guests are to wear to her party at the Ritz.
STRICT DRESS CODE:
Gentlemen: Jacket, shirt, and please also bring a tie (no jeans,
trainers, flip-flops, polo-shirts)
Ladies: skirt/top, cocktail dress (no denim, min-skirts, flip-flips, bad
Advice 1: It goes without saying that the more upper-class you dress,
the less likely you shall be denied entry.
Advice 2: Photos will be taken between 10pm to 10:30pm, and these will
be distributed once processed, therefore you may want to be
I will be accepting cards and small gifts between 9pm to 11pm… hehehe
And, because we know you are wondering, we will be accepting cards and small forwarded emails for the rest of the day.
The full invitation, and the reactions of various readers at Citi, after the jump.