It’s CFA time tomorrow and we know everyone taking it is going to do great! And if you don’t, it’s not like this shit matters– just ask any of your MBA friends. Alternatively, think about it this way– becoming a Chartered Financial Analyst will spell the end of your budding pornography career. Plus, we’ll be throwing a special pity party for the failures, so there’s that to look forward to. And because I know some of you are sensitive:
MBAs
You like him! You really like him! Kind of!
The president may not appreciate them but you know what? Screw that guy. JD and LB don’t need him when they’ve got the votes of MBA Candidates. CNN Money’s annual ranking of the top companies business students want to work for is out and apparently these kids want a piece of James D and his li’l buddy more than ever before, clocking in at 7 and 3 respectively, moving up one and two slots each, with the extra love for GS being attributed to the gluttons for punishment at GS just dying to have Matt Taibbi throw scalding hot coffee in their faces (the school even added a class to prepare its graduates for that exact scenario this year). Also making progress with the business leaders of tomorrow was Citi, which jumped from the 59th to the 51st slot, just losing out in popularity to UBS. Still beat HSBC (76) though, so, something to be happy about. Continue reading »
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MBAs
Harvard Business School Graduates Continuing Year Old Oath-Taking Tradition
By Bess Levin
Saving Goldman Sachs
Last May, a bunch of HBS grads got together and decided to take an “MBA Oath,” promising not to do anything wrong once they were released into the world. They put a condensed version on little laminated cards to keep in their back pockets as a quick reference in case they ran into a situation that offered them the opportunity to lie, cheat, steal or short their the individual mortgages of down-on-their-luck friends in the Hamptons, and weren’t sure how to proceed. They also posed with said cards in the New York Times, looking like the members of a Christian rock band, so you knew it was serious. And yet…we still kind of thought it was just a phase, something they’d grow out of. Such is not the case! This year’s HBS grads are still feeling the need to sign a sheet of paper that says they promise to be good and not just that but they’re really kicking things up a notch with bold claims such as the following:
If Goldman Sachs’s leadership had followed the oath’s tenets, the company may not have entered into agreements to sell mortgage-backed securities that another client, New York investment company Paulson & Co., was betting against, said Khurana, the Harvard professor who worked with students in drafting the oath.
Also a University of Bridgeport business school grad!
At the time of his arrest, Faisal Shahzad and his wife, Huma Mian, were facing foreclosure on the compact home of gray vinyl shingles they owned on Long Hill Avenue near the center of Shelton, Conn. He is “financially bankrupt,” said a high-level official briefed on the investigation. Neighbors and brokers said Mr. Shahzad and his wife had moved away and abandoned the house months ago. A lockbox with a key was on the front door, and the lawn was being mowed on behalf of the bank, J.P. Morgan Chase & Co., which issued the mortgage when the house was purchased in 2004.
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MBAs
Day 30: A Bunch Of Idiot Traders Drop By The Office And Steve Hisses At Them And Pisses In Their General Direction
By Bess Levin
Early last week, we were alerted to a message board containing a comment by a woman who accosted Bill Ackman at a recent General Growth Properties hearing. In it, she recounted their meeting and although perhaps mentally unstable, had a genius idea on her hands. Here is the relevant text:
“I waited Till Mr. Ackman was not talking to anyone, and shook his hand and told him he was one of my heros. He asked me who I was and I said I was a proud tenant and Artist at the South Street Seaport, and prould shareholder. He said I looked like a Artist, I told him thats what people said last time I was in GGP’s hearing. I told him the next German Shepard dog I get I will name him Bill Ackman, and the last German Shepard I had was named Warren Buffet [ all true ] I told him that I used to get cards from my Vet that said Warren Buffett needed his rabies and distemper shots.I told him I would send him the cards about Bill Ackman dog for his shots. He laughed and I feel I amused him, slightly charmed him and was slightly foolish. LOL!!!
Obviously, we were inspired and immediately dispatched someone to purchase a fluffy white cat for the Dealbreaker office. We named it after our favorite hedge fund manager and moving forward, will be providing you with daily updates of our time together. Here’s how life with Stevie has been going so far. Continue reading »
Looking to douse yourself in a little second-hand embarrassment today? Business school follies are here to help! If the above offering from Darden doesn’t do it for you, perhaps the future business leaders of America at CBS can get the job done.
Update: Wharton has beseeched me to throw their effort into the running.
*Confidential to Darden guy– the limbo scene was pretty good stuff.
US News has regaled us with its annual ranking of the top business schools. I know you want to bitch, so get it out here and now.
24. University of Minnesota– Twin Cities
24. Georgetown (McDonough)
23. Indiana University– Bloomington (Kelly)
21. UNC– Chapel Hill (Kenan-Flagler)
21. Ohio State (Fisher)
20. University of Southern California (Marshall)
19. Wash U. (Olin)
18. Cornell
16. University of Texas–Austin (McCombs)
16. Carnegie Mellon (Tepper)
15. UCLA (Anderson)
14. Duke (Fuqua)
13. UVA (Darden)
12. University of Michigan
11. Yale Continue reading »
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