News

jefferiesAs you may have heard, this week has been a tough one for Team Jefferies. Not only for Global Healthcare Head Sage Kelly– who took a voluntary leave of absence yesterday– but for other senior members of the bank, who’ve either been named in the complaint filed by Kelly’s soon-to-be ex-wife or simply felt embarrassment by association. It’s unclear what exactly was going on over at HQ today, but it seems that some sort of tipping point occurred and a scene similar to the following occurred:

Senior Jefferies Management is reading the latest allegation re: Kelly

SJM: “Oh come on.”
SJM: “Oh this is ridiculous.”
SJM: “You’ve got to be kidding me. No, this is…oh HELL NO [unbuckles belt, screams into intercom:] “Get me a cup…I said get me a fucking cup!”

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ubs1 3.13.35 PMBased on a judge’s ruling today. Read more »

Mountain of Starbursts AKA One of the best food eating challenges everOn the seventh floor of a concrete office building in Washington, a government worker stops to contemplate a purchase from the vending machine. Then his phone vibrates. An alert on the screen suggests he pass on the Twinkies today. This guinea pig, among a group of employees at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, may be experiencing the office of the future. The department ran an experiment this summer to see whether new technology could get workers to form better health habits. The Health Department used wireless gizmos situated around the office that transmit signals to employees’ mobile devices as they pass by. An app running on their smartphones interprets the data and delivers advice based on where they are. Employees who get up from a conference-room table might get an alert telling them to take the long way back to their desks. Walking past a water fountain five times prompts a suggestion that it’s time to stop for a drink during the next go-around. [Bloomberg, related]

Nothing to see here.There are things at which the Securities and Exchange Commission should probably have a look. Like, say, the unregistered issuance of securities by companies dealing in fake currencies. You know, just a gander, if for no other reason than to demonstrate that they’re expected to follow all of those boring, stupid rules they hate so much. And so they have! Or perhaps not. Read more »

charliegasparinojefferies
[via @cgasparino]

Earlier: Jefferies Exec Sage Kelly Taking A Timeout From Investment Banking

barclaysballoonBarclays PLC on Thursday reported a fresh £500 million ($800 million) legal provision related to investigations into the alleged manipulation of the foreign-exchange market. The charge weighed down what was otherwise a brighter quarterly performance by the British bank, showing early signs that a radical restructuring is paying off…The provision comes as the first stage of a global probe into alleged foreign-exchange price rigging nears an end, and relates to “ongoing investigations into foreign exchange with certain regulatory authorities,” the bank said. [WSJ]

Joseph GalbraithOver at Dealbook today, you will find the story of Joseph B. Galbraith, whose Galbraith Capital Investment Management was mistakenly wired $1.5 million from Credit Suisse back in January. Currently, Galbraith is said to be living in Monacco and, presumably, the money is with him, because Credit Suisse, despite realizing its error many months back and asking nicely for Galbraith to return the money, has not seen a dime. But not for lack of trying! In fact, the bank asked Galbraith and his associates (one of whom appears to be his nephew) to give the money back many, many times. Unfortunately, the Swiss apparently had no idea who they were dealing with, i.e. a master of the old “Your check’s in the mail/I just got in a cab/I’m around the corner/I’m just looking for a parking spot.” Read more »