News

stevecohensaccapitalThis December will mark five years since Patricia Cohen, Steve’s first wife, came back into his life with the fury of a thousand Preet Bhararas. To celebrate, he’s going to smother her with a pillow. Just kidding, that’s for year six. For five, he’s going with this: Read more »

  • 23 Oct 2014 at 10:00 AM

Ken Griffin Introduces The Concept Of His Divorce Voice

It's The Griffins!As those of you keeping up with the conscious uncoupling of Kenneth Griffin and his soon-to-be ex-wife Anne Dias Griffin know, both the Citadel founder and his bride have been playing the hardest of ball re: marital assets, reputations, etc, since he filed for divorce over the summer, maintaining, through their attorneys, that each other can suck it. For her part, Anne has alleged that Ken:

  • Surprised her divorce papers while she was on vacation with their three children
  • Had a couple’s therapist he was seeing on his own convince her to sign a pre-nup
  • Is an absentee father
  • Changed the locks on their houses
  • “…threatened to demolish part of the family’s primary Chicago residence”

In response, Ken has:

  • Reminded Anne about the time he dressed up “as Spider-Man for a school Halloween party and as a prince for a daughter’s birthday party”
  • Reiterated that if Anne thinks she’s getting a dime more the prenup stipulates, she oughta think again

…and most recently, said in court filings that 1. Use of his private jet is privilege, not a right and 2. What she might have interpreted as terrifying verbal abuse was simply how he talks when he’s divorcing someone and not cause for alarm. Read more »

  • 22 Oct 2014 at 6:44 PM

Write-Offs: 10.22.14

$$$ Lloyds Said to Cut 9,000 Jobs Amid Online Banking Shift [Bloomberg]

$$$ Betting big on marijuana futures with the Wolf of Weed Street [Men's Journal]

$$$ “The financial community has done well, but a lot of people have been left behind,” Larry Fink, chairman and CEO of BlackRock, said at the Robin Hood Investors Conference on Tuesday in Manhattan. “We should be asking the bigger question, ‘Are the investments we’re making good for society?’ ” [NetNet]

$$$ Men’s boxers promise to block ‘harmful’ cellphone rays [NYP]

$$$ Fox News Host Says Young Women Should ‘Go Back to Tinder’ Instead of Voting [Daily Intel] Read more »

JPM corporate challengeRegulators want detailed plans about protecting your free tee-shirts from Russian hackers, too. Read more »

  • 22 Oct 2014 at 4:01 PM

That’s ‘Professor Dimon,’ Thank You Very Much

After beating cancer, Jamie Dimon — like many survivors — is looking to give back after a life in banking. The 56-year-old JPMorgan Chase chief executive is considering philanthropy and teaching when he leaves the bank he’s helmed for 10 years, he said during his first public appearance in New York since finishing the cancer treatment last month. “I still want to make it a better world,” he said Tuesday at the Javits Center for an industry conference. “I think when I’m done with this, I’m going to do it more directly.” [NYP]

charliegasparinotweet

Earlier: Charlie Gasparino Shows Enormous Restraint In Not Referring To Sun Valley Security As “Buncha Rent-A-Cops”

It says so somewhere in here, I'm sure of it! Just give me another minute to find it.Jordan Peixoto, friend/insider trading bud of worst roommate ever Filip Szymik, is ready to argue that the SEC’s administrative proceedings against him for insider trading, in Herbalife, are a violation of all of the U.S. Constitutional rights he learned about in Canadian civics classes. Read more »