One Ocean View

‘One Ocean View’—Yep It’s Dead

oceanviewcast.jpgIt looks like we’ll never get to learn what happens to the budding romance of stockbroker John and Playboy model Heather, whether new girl Anelka redeems herself after spending her very first night in the house with Seward & Kissell attorney Usman and exactly how evil baby hedge fund babe Lauren really is. All the fun is done. ABC’s taken “One Ocean View” off the air, replacing it with re-runs of Supernanny.
That’s right. Super-effin-nanny. Where now do we turn for our fix of skeazes and teases?
ABC Closes ‘One Ocean View,’ Nixes ‘Boston Legal,’ ‘Lost’ Repeats [Futon Critic]

One Ocean View—Cancelled?

oceanviewcast.jpgThis is getting ridiculous. It was one thing when we would write about a new Wall Street blog and it would get shutdown the next day. But did DealBreaker kill a network television show?
We’re hearing rumors and seeing signs today that ABC’s skank-o-rama reality show “One Ocean View” has been cancelled. Now where are we going to go for our weekly dose of young narcissists professionals at play?

Meet Usman Shaikh, Lady Killer of ‘One Ocean View’

bio_Usman.jpgThe ABC “reality” series ‘One Ocean View’ got a little porny last night when alpha-male, corporate lawyer Usman scored a roll in the sheets with new cast member, sexy photographer Anelka. After their apparent biological exchange, Usman turned and whispered the sweetest words a New York lady can hear in such moments. Here’s how a DealBreaker tipster puts it:

On last night’s episode of ABC’s goofy reality-show/sexcapade One Ocean View, one of the main characters Usman banged one of the new ladies in the house. As they were laying in bed enjoying post-coital bliss, he announces that he is an attorney at the largest and most prominent hedge fund law firm in the city.

So which law firm does Usman work for? According to Wikipedia (and our tipster), it’s Seward & Kissel, which is indeed one of the nations leading hedge fund law firms. Sexy!
This isn’t Usman’s first time in the media spotlight. Back in May, the twenty seven year old lawyer found himself named on Page Six, as a companion of Mark Cuban’s. The two were reportedly turned away from the door of Bungalow 8 even after Cuban offered the bouncers $1000.
Usman didn’t return DealBreaker’s calls to his office. And you missed the chance to “party” with the cast of One Ocean View at some Lower East Side soul-destroying hell hole last night.
[Got a tip for DealBreaker. Email it to tips(at)DealBreaker.Com. All submissions will be kept anonymous unless otherwise requested.]

ocvlauren1cropped.JPGSo just who is Lauren, the mysterious “junior analyst” at a hedge fund who is quickly gaining fame for her icy manipulation of men on ABC’s “One Ocean View” and who pointedly refuses to give her last name to reporters? We’re still not sure but the woman in this picture bears a strong resemblance to Lauren of OCV. What’s more, we got it from her Friendster page, where the profile matches several confirmed facts about Lauren.
*She’s named Lauren. Check.
*She works for a hedge fund. Check.
* She’s from New Jersey. Check.
* She went to the University of Arizona. Check.
* Knows a young man named Zack. Check.
* She considers herself single. Check.
* While Zack still says that “it’s complicated.” Sadly, yes. Check. (Get over it, man.)
She lists her employer as Cynthion Partners. Ladies and gents, we believe we have a winner.
Lauren’s Profile [Friendster]

Meet Lauren, One Ocean View’s Icy Bitch

Lauren-9-1-06.jpgIt’s hard to believe that people still agree to go on reality television shows. Doesn’t everyone know that producers of these shows set out to cast a mix of people most likely to hurt and humiliate each other? Maybe people don’t care. After all, they’re on television! And what’s the point of doing anything if no-one is watching it on television?
It’s a pretty sure bet that when the producer’s of ABC’s new Fire Island reality show met Lauren, who recently broke up with her boyfriend Zack but seems to keep him around like a dog that’s been beat too much, they knew they had reality television gold. Here’s how the New York Times describes her.

Zack’s ex-girlfriend — torturer? — is Lauren, a 23-year-old junior analyst for a hedge fund. Brunet and bronzed, she’s pretty and talkative, but she wields her charms like a handgun. As the show opens, she has somehow managed to persuade Zack to stay loyal and available to her even as she looks for someone new.
Short on romantic experience, Zack accepts this arrangement for fear of hurting her, which is rich, since Lauren appears unhurtable. Evidently she has convinced him in private that she loves him and requires his steadfast devotion while she comes on to everyone but him. Would you buy a hedge fund from this woman?

Lauren is one of the cast members who won’t reveal her last name or where she works. But she’s described on the show as a “junior analyst” at a hedge fund. So come on team DealBreaker. Some one must know her. Send rumors, tips, last names and places of employment to tips(at)

‘One Ocean View’: A Humiliating Vacation
[The New York Times]