The Latest

  • 05 Sep 2014 at 1:42 PM

Mathew Martoma Is Still Going To Jail

Despite his lawyer’s arguments that 1) The government’s key witness can’t be trusted and 2) That whole business with the fake Harvard Law transcripts made him look bad in the eyes of the jury. Read more »

With a strongly worded memo.

Subject: Proper Food Disposal

All-

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Someone Thinks Michael Lewis Is On To Something

It is very clear to Andrew Cunagin that something is very wrong in the markets right now. Two things, actually. First, there’s the bullshit high-frequency trading nonsense, which, to borrow a term from the immortal Flash Boys, is rigging stock markets from Mexico to South Korea and everywhere in between. And if that wasn’t bad enough, all of you idiots keep bidding up stock prices, too stupid and self-satisfied to notice the giant fucking bubble that you’re inflating right under your own asses.

As far as Andrew Cunagin sees it, there’s simply no other explanation for why his Rinehart Capital Partners—which he’s shutting down because no one wants to invest in it anymore—has been so shitty for the last three years. Read more »

So Richard Perry and 49 or so friends have been dropping in on Argentina’s finance minister—who’s on another vacation in New York—for a little chat about, you know, the non-default default. Because, as holders of Argentina’s restructured debt, they’d really like to get paid, preferably on time next time.

Unfortunately for them, they are under an interdict from Judge Thomas Griesa not to do anything that might be construed as helping the excommunicated Argentines from ignoring or skirting his rulings some more. And Argentina is under a self-imposed interdict which keeps it from talking about waiving a clause for fear of triggering that clause. Or because it’s a handy excuse to not talk to Paul Singer. Whatever. Either way, the meetings must have sounded like an FBI wiretap of John Gotti ordering a hit. Read more »

Write-Offs: 09.04.14

$$$ Big banks must face U.S. swaps price-fixing lawsuit [Reuters]

$$$ Median Incomes Fell for All But Richest in 2010-13, Fed Says [Bloomberg]

$$$ Goldman Sachs Just Says ‘Vice President’ to Be Polite [BloombergView/Matt]

$$$ Draghi’s intervention startles markets [FT]

$$$ A Seattle man is facing felony assault charges after allegedly shooting at two people who interrupted an 0ral s3x session taking place on the street. Police said the incident took place around 2 a.m. on Aug. 26, when an unnamed man and woman were walking down a downtown street arguing with each other. At the same time, a man later identified as Paul Hunter was receiving 0ral s3x from an unidentified woman. The woman performing the alleged s3x act on the suspect was apparently spooked by the quarreling couple and fled the scene before the suspect had climaxed, according to The Smoking Gun. The tuxedo-clad suspect was allegedly angry by the course of events and pulled out a 9mm Kel-Tec pistol. “You’re dead mother (expletive),” Hunter shouted at the pair before opening fire, according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. “You’re dead.” [HP] Read more »

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  • 04 Sep 2014 at 5:30 PM

Jérôme Kerviel’s Week Is Looking Up

Yes, under the terms of his parole he’ll have to follow a curfew but it could’ve been a lot worse (in this case, worse meaning prison and a multi-billion fine, which would’ve taken god-knows-how-many walk-a-thons to pay back). Read more »

On SAC* PM Asks Cops To Reserve House Calls For The Time He Kills A Guy Or Drives His Car Through Someone’s Living Room

I once got pulled over in a small Jersey town, cop says license & registration, I say no thanks and do a burn out in my Camaro that kicks up the kinda smoke my Mama would have from cooking her spezzatino di manzo too long. Cop was scared so shitless I never heard nothing from him.

  • 04 Sep 2014 at 3:49 PM

Judge Junks Lawsuit Against S&P

No, not that one. But gratifying all the same. Read more »