• News

    President, Congress Gear Up For Two More Years A Lot Like The Last Four

    Last night, President Obama asked 535 people to understand that “a better politics isn’t one where Democrats abandon their agenda or Republicans simply embrace mine.” Well, the 300 of them that identify as the latter have a somewhat different understanding of a better politics, as their not one, not two, but five State of the […]

    / Jan 21, 2015 at 2:32 PM
  • How-to-Write-a-Formal-Letter

    Things that have never happened before

    Money Manager Actually Sounds Pretty Sincere In His Apology For Blowing Up Fund

    In the grand tradition of hedge fund letters to clients informing them that the money they invested is pretty much all gone, many a manager has a difficult time doing a credible rendition of an apology. Even if the words “apologize” or “sorry” actually do appear on the page, they’re typically followed by 1) A […]

    / Jan 21, 2015 at 2:02 PM
  • News

    Look Who Thinks Bitcoins Won’t Keep Losing Value Until They’re Totally Worthless (Vikram Pandit)

    The less bitcoins are worth, the more people want to invest real money with people doing business in the fake stuff. And what people, too: The New York Stock Exchange! And Vikram Pandit!

    / Jan 21, 2015 at 1:15 PM
  • The Griffins!


    Chicago Billionaire Sounds Like A Real Treat

    In a newly disclosed detail, Dias Griffin says that, a few weeks before her husband left home in early 2012, Griffin had “forced Anne’s personal trading and investment vehicle to abide by a new set of stringent spousal compliance rules imposed by Citadel.” With those restrictions, Dias Griffin said it became difficult to trade and […]

    / Jan 21, 2015 at 1:07 PM
  • markzuckerbergoffice-260x271

    Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 1.21.15

    S&P, SEC, Two States Agree to Roughly $80 Million Settlement (WSJ) Standard & Poor’s Ratings Services has agreed to pay more than $77 million to settle federal and state charges that it loosened its ratings criteria to win business and did not disclose those changes to investors. The settlement announced Wednesday is with the Securities […]

    / Jan 21, 2015 at 9:30 AM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 1.20.15

    $$$ S&P’s Settlement With the SEC Isn’t the End of Its Problems [BusinessWeek] $$$ Marc Faber berates central banks for ‘fraud’ [CNBC] $$$ Fallout Builds From Insider Trading Ruling [Dealbook] $$$ 2 Wall Street Deal Makers Form an Activist Fund With a Twist [Dealbook] $$$ Human Ken Doll Risks Blindness To Become ‘100 Percent Plastic’ […]

    / Jan 20, 2015 at 6:00 PM
  • News

    Bankers Only Make Cautious, Thoughtful Investment Decisions: Real Estate Broker

    The last several years have been lackluster, as the extravagant compensation lavished on financiers during the boom years failed to materialize following the recession. But this year signs are emerging that bountiful bonuses are back, at least for some, and those who sell high-end real estate are seeing buyers return to the marketplace with more […]

    / Jan 20, 2015 at 5:29 PM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 1.16.15

    $$$ Russia Cut to Baa3 by Moody’s on Oil Plunge as Junk Rating Looms [Bloomberg] $$$ FXCM, Brokerage Hit by Swiss Shock, Gets $300 Million From Jefferies Owner Leucadia [Bloomberg] $$$ Inflation Slows Amid Plunge in Oil [WSJ] $$$ Fitch Revises Greek Long-Term Outlook to Negative [WSJ] $$$ Loose Pet Alligator May Have Been Eating […]

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 6:30 PM
  • News

    Hedge Fund Lawyers Make Bank

    Total cash compensation for general counsels at most hedge fund managers tends to range between $500,000 and $2 million. The average total cash package for a general counsel is close to $1.1 million. There are outliers at the top end of the range, however, and I know of several GC’s earning well north of $3 […]

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 5:00 PM
  • Jim Thompson


    Area Billionaire Tells Employees To Gather ‘Round And Watch Him Murder His Pecs

    Jim Thompson, the founder and chairman of logistics giant Crown Worldwide, celebrated his 75th birthday this year by doing 75 pushups in just 47 seconds, according to The Jersey Journal. The feat was accomplished in front of Thompson’s cheering employees at the company’s headquarters in Hong Kong on Wednesday. “It’s become a tradition and creates […]

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 4:38 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    Stealing From Ken Griffin For Three Years In The Joint

    Although ex-programmer Yihao Pu’s lawyer argued that her client was “guilty only of being an immature young man,” ripped Citadel off for a mere $2,000, and really didn’t need to do jail time, a judge saw things differently, on all counts.

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 4:02 PM
  • Sponsored Content

    Financial Analysis Of Litigation Funding Transactions

    Ed. note: This article is part of a weekly column from Lake Whillans Litigation Finance devoted to addressing common questions that arise in connection with commercial litigation finance. Last time we discussed the doctrines of champerty and maintenance; this week, we will be discussing the analysis a CFO might undertake when considering whether to raise […]

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 3:55 PM
  • lloyd blankfein gary cohn


    Bonus Watch ’15: Start Breathing Into A Paper Bag Now

    Don’t want to get anyone upset over nothing or be unnecessarily alarmist but there is a slight possibility that shitty earnings may translate to shitty bonuses.

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 3:25 PM
  • News

    Now Let’s Go To Senior Wall Street Genitalia Correspondent Charlie Gasparino With More. Charlie?

    famous james gorman/body language meter predicting "decent" earns ppl @MorganStanley say "hes walking around like his d–k is at half mast" — Charles Gasparino (@CGasparino) January 16, 2015

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 3:06 PM
  • News

    SNB President Thomas Jordan: First Horseman of the Apocalypse

    You may have heard that the Swiss really threw, well, everyone for a loop yesterday, doing the thing they said they’d never, ever do. Why? Because they could? Or because they’d rather not have to buy any more of an increasingly worthless currency. Either way, everyone’s screwed.

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 2:23 PM


    Horrific Bank Quarterlies Not Funny Anymore

    So the clowns over at Citigroup had another underwhelming performance? What else is new? Brian Moynihan still look like his favorite Irish setter was just flattened by an asphalt roller? Yawn. JPMorgan Chase still being held upside-down by the Justice Department until all of its profits (and then some) fall out? Unfortunate, but not unexpected. […]

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 1:25 PM
  • Double_post_box

    Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 1.16.15

    Goldman Sachs Posts Lowest Annual Trading Revenue Since 2005 (Bloomberg) Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS), which set a Wall Street record for trading revenue in 2009, posted less than half that amount in 2014 as revenue from the firm’s biggest business fell to the lowest in almost a decade. The decline helped push fourth-quarter net […]

    / Jan 16, 2015 at 9:30 AM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 1.15.15

    $$$ Outbursts of obscenities and confusion followed the Swiss central bank’s surprise decision to abolish its three-year-old policy of capping the Swiss franc against the euro, according to traders in London’s financial district. [Bloomberg] $$$ Yellen Signals She Won’t Babysit Markets in Turmoil [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS to Pay $14 Million to Resolve Dark Pool Marketing […]

    / Jan 15, 2015 at 6:30 PM

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