Remember when Lenny Dykstra was arrested in April? The Jim Cramer-approved investor was cuffed and charged with bankruptcy fraud for “selling items from his $18 million California mansion,” including chandeliers, mirrors, artwork, a stove and a grandfather clock delivered to a consignment store called Uniques, whose owner was happy to help him unload his “truckload of goods.” On that same day, officials sensed that something wasn’t right with Nails and after thinking about it for a while, are now accusing him of having “cocaine and ecstasy on him” during the arrest and, separately, “using false information to lease cars from a Ford dealership.” LD is expect to appear in court later today to plead not guilty and in the meantime, released this statement in his defense. Read more »
Over the weekend, the US Marshals service held yet another auction of Bernie Madoff’s stuff, with the proceeds going to victims of the Ponz Master’s scheme. Previous items bought by bidders have included Bernie’s prized collection of mini-bar booze, his marital bed, and his belly button ring. This time, someone got a deal on his (used) underwear (14 pairs for $200) and a photo of an unidentified ass. Read more »
Apparently Strauss-Kahn, who pleaded not guilty this morning, “sat at the defense table between his attorneys, Benjamin Brafman and William Taylor, looking relaxed and with his legs stretched out.” [ABC]
MW’s Carson Block: It’s a Ponzi scheme in that the company perpetually issues securities in order to fund itself. Even by its own fraudulent numbers, the company does not generate any free cash and has not done so in sixteen years. Were the company be unable to issue additional securities to fund itself, it would collapse. That to me is the definition or epitomizes the definition of a Ponzi. “In this situation, the company appears to be investing for the 23rd century. It’s sixteen straight years burning cash, no guidance as to what the rationale is to acquire so many trees so far ahead of customer orders. This is taking a capex fraud–we have found several of these in China–it’s taking it to the next level where you’re not constrained by the walls of a factory and no one is able to really see the movement of physical goods. It could grow to be infinite provided that the capital markets continue to fund it.” Read more »
Goldman Plans to Fight Back Against Senate Report (WSJ)
The securities firm is considering releasing documents about its mortgage bets that are aimed at showing what Goldman officials claim is sloppy math and incomplete analysis by the Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations as the panel sifted through tens of millions of documents turned over by Goldman.
Talk of Changes at Stable J.P. Morgan (WSJ)
Two executives on the New York bank’s 15-person operating committee, commercial-banking chief Todd Maclin and top international executive Heidi Miller, are expected to step down from those jobs soon, according to people familiar with the matter. Ms. Miller will likely retire, while Mr. Maclin is expected to take another role within the bank, these people added. Another ally of Mr. Dimon’s, investment-bank chief Jes Staley, has faced pointed questions from subordinates about his strategy and priorities, these people said. Mr. Staley has had the job since late 2009, following the acrimonious ouster of the investment bank’s two longtime co-chiefs. The unit is the most profitable business at J.P. Morgan…Mr. Dimon has indicated to some colleagues that he might remain CEO for five more years. He also recently made it clear, as a result of urging from J.P. Morgan directors, that the process to pick his successor is under way—and several executives inside J.P. Morgan are essentially auditioning for the top job.
Paulson $9bn hedge fund falls 6% in May (FT)
May’s loss means that in the year to date, the $9bn Paulson & Co Advantage Plus fund is down 7.6 per cent. The average hedge fund lost 1.39 per cent over the month according to preliminary data from Hedge Fund Research, with “event-driven” strategies such as that operated by Paulson & Co’s main fund down on average 0.62 per cent. May was also a painful month for Mr Paulson’s other big investment call: gold.The Paulson & Co Gold fund dropped 6.39 per cent in May, erasing much of its 8.5 per cent April gain. The fund is up 0.9 per cent in the year. Paulson & Co is the world’s largest non-sovereign gold investor. Performance was better for the firm’s other funds. Its Credit fund was down 0.05 per cent for May, while the Recovery fund, which is geared to the prospects of the US economy, dropped 0.69 per cent. Paulson & Co declined to comment.
Strauss-Kahn to plead not guilty to sex charges (Reuters)
Strauss-Kahn, 62, faces up to 25 years in prison if convicted on charges including attempted rape, sex abuse, a criminal sex act, unlawful imprisonment and forcible touching. Former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn will plead not guilty on Monday to charges he sexually assaulted a New York hotel maid in a case that cost him his job and a chance at the French presidency. Read more »
$$$ Economists React: ‘Consider Me Worried’ (Real-Time Economics)
$$$ Greece to get next tranche of money, IMF and EU say (BBC)
$$$ Volcker to advise FDIC on new resolution powers (Reuters)
$$$ Private Equity Tells Washington: Stay Away From Our Pay (DealBook)
$$$ Sino-Forest responds: money does grow on trees (FT Alphaville)
$$$ Ex-Wachovia Manager Tribby Gets Seven-Year Term for Stealing $14.1 Million, using funds to buy a helicopter, a luxury motor home, rural houses and property, and exotic animals, including two zebras (Bloomberg) Read more »
Earlier in court today, the former SAC portfolio manager was pressed to choose. Read more »
So suck it Chuck Grassley, Fred Wilpon, anonymous asshole, Fred Wilpon, Kim Kardashian, Fred Wilpon, the 3rd grade teacher who wrote that “Little Stevie doesn’t apply himself,” Fred Wilpon, the cocksuckers at the Norwalk Wendy’s who despite instructions to leave the tomato off of his grilled chicken sandwich still throw one on there every single time, Fred Wilpon, Biovail, Fred Wilpon, the other, much less important Steve Cohen who fucks up his Google Alerts, Fred Wilpon. Read more »