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preetbhararawhiteboardAnthony Chiasson and Todd Newman will be enjoying themselves this evening. Preet Bharara, less so. Read more »

Nothing is fucked, Dude.Mike Corbat is going to go ahead and just send every one of the 54 billion nickels Citi’s going to make this quarter to the bank’s lawyers, the latest last big legal charge it will have to take, he swears. Read more »


[via Gawker]

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Colgate University: Cradle Of Hedge Fund Traders

Buy-Side U.The folks over at SumZero have crunched the numbers on their 11,000 members to find out just where you should send your kids if you want them to follow your footsteps into the buy-side at a hedge fund, and you’ll be stunned by the results. Just kidding: Send them to Wharton or Harvard. Or, if possible—or if, say, Wharton or Harvard aren’t, either because you’re kid’s a dolt and/or because you foolishly went to Brown or Binghamton or something, depriving your progeny of that most important gift, legacy status—you could always just ship them off to Colgate which, on account of its size, doesn’t have many alums at the best fund, but which Sabermetrically blows everyone out of the water. The place down the road from Harvard’s not a bad choice, either. Nor is Mike Bloomberg’s alma mater. Read more »

Christopher Zigmund Barra and Luis Miguel Sampedro likely have $7.5 million coming their way. Read more »

  • 10 Dec 2014 at 10:15 AM

Layoffs Watch ’14: Deutsche Bank

deutsche-bank1The Germans are said to have asked a number of employees to clean our their desks. Read more »

goat7A few weeks ago, the hedge fund manager Mark Spitznagel was walking through a wooded area on his 200-acre farm in Northport, Michigan, shouting at goats. “A droite! A droite!” he called, urging the animals to return to a path from which they had strayed in order to nibble on the surrounding brush. When Spitznagel was first launching his goat cheese farm, called Idyll Farms, around 2012, he hired consultants from France– but of course– to come to Michigan and help train him and his staff, and the goats have grown used to hearing commands in French. “A droite! A droite!” Spitznagel shouts, tapping on the ground with a long, hooked walking stick he sometimes uses to gently prod the animals….They seem intelligent, I said to Spitznagel. “They’re herd animals,” he responded. “They’re as smart as any investment manager out there.” [Worth]

  • 10 Dec 2014 at 8:45 AM

Pay Hike Watch ’14: Citigroup

citi07x-large-260x195At long last, the littlest members of Team Citi have gotten word they’ll be receiving raises to base pay, just like their fellow junior mistmakers across Wall Street. Read more »