• Screen Shot 2015-02-01 at 11.30.32 PM

    Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 2.2.15

    Ex-intern gets six-figures for ‘Screwing Wall Street’ porn; Former Maryland Banker Reveals He Used to Work for the CIA; Justice Department Investigating Moody’s Investors Service; Washington man recieves $18,000 bridge toll bill…More

    / Feb 2, 2015 at 7:00 AM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 1.30.15

    $$$ German and British Regulators Examining Deutsche Bank’s Controls and Reporting [Dealbook] $$$ Shake Shacks Surge In Market Debut [WSJ] $$$ Secret hedge fund shorts revealed [NetNet] $$$ Tom Brady’s $2.6 Million Super Bowl Pay Cut [Bloomberg] $$$ Suspect Tells Police He’s No ‘Good At The Robbery Thing’ [HP]

    / Jan 30, 2015 at 5:30 PM
  • Screen Shot 2015-01-30 at 4.39.43 PM


    25 Year Old Who Spent Six-Figures On Single Bottle Of Champagne Going Away For A While

    Attention, UK nightclub owners: put your bottle of bubbly on ice. Alex Pope, the Brit whose spending habits raised suspicion several years back, which turned out to be funded by scamming investors, will want that shit chilled when he springs out of the joint seven years hence.

    / Jan 30, 2015 at 4:40 PM
  • Triple A!


    Ratings Agencies Back To Their Old Tricks, Ratings Agency Says

    Moody’s, S&P and Fitch took a lot of flak for being a little too optimistic about the creditworthiness of derivatives before those derivatives proved anything but creditworthy. S&P got sued over it, but there may have been other motivations for that, and the other two, as well as the industry as a whole, more or […]

    / Jan 30, 2015 at 4:00 PM
  • Screen Shot 2015-01-30 at 1.56.10 PM


    Preet Bharara Does Not Need This Shit

    The four guys who got to retract their guilty pleas to the crime earlier this month? Yea, they won’t have to enter new pleas of any kind—unless the Second Circuit Court of Appeals sees the error of its ways, or the Supreme Court sees said error.

    / Jan 30, 2015 at 3:00 PM
  • Doesn't have to go home... yet.


    Venezuelan Fraudster Gets To Spend Extra 13 Years In U.S.

    Francisco Illarramendi ran a hedge fund whose strategy was to steal about $400 million from Venezuela’s national oil company. This is illegal in the United States, and that is a lot of money—even if his lawyers say Illarramendi’s was the first Ponzi scheme in history to turn a profit for investors. And so instead of […]

    / Jan 30, 2015 at 2:00 PM
  • I'm sorry, kids. We're just going to have to throw away all of the decorations you made.


    You Can Go Ahead And Cancel Your Spotify IPO Party

    At the very least, you’re going to have to rebook the room for sometime next year, because unlike certain burger chains, Spotify doesn’t need the public markets to scrounge for nine figures.

    / Jan 30, 2015 at 12:15 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    Bonus Watch ’14/Layoffs Watch ‘15: Hedge Funds

    Hedge funds did a spectacular job not making money last year. That translates into a 30% drop in profit for the industry in 2014. And that translates into 60% drop in the bonus pool. And that, for those of you working at smaller hedge funds, is the good news.

    / Jan 30, 2015 at 11:30 AM
  • shake shack


    Call The (Shake Shack) Close (UPDATE)

    UPDATE: And the winner is shackiswack, with a guess of $45.90 @ 3:45PM! Get in touch to claim your prize. Danny Meyer’s hot dog stands went public today. Get your close guesses in by 3:45PM, using standard Price Is Right rules. Winner receives his or her choice of a Shack gift card or Shack coasters, […]

    / Jan 30, 2015 at 11:11 AM
  • lloyd blankfein gary cohn

    Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 1.30.15

    Currency Tumult Stokes Big Bets (WSJ) A surging dollar is pummeling currencies around the globe amid efforts to boost economic growth, prompting a wave of investor bets to profit from the upheaval. Many global central banks are weakening their currencies as they try to counter signs of economic gloom, signaled by falling commodity prices, declining […]

    / Jan 30, 2015 at 7:00 AM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 1.29.15

    $$$ Shake Shack Prices IPO at $21, Above Expectations [WSJ] $$$ How Goldman Banker Became NFL’s Go-To Stadium-Finance Guy [Bloomberg] $$$ Jack Ma Loses $1.4 Billion as Alibaba Stock Drops [Bloomberg] $$$ Former Hedge-Fund Managers Hit the Comeback Trail [WSJ] $$$ Alec Baldwin Swears Off Another Airline [Gawker]

    / Jan 29, 2015 at 6:16 PM
  • Back to shilling zit cream.

    Private Equity

    Man Allegedly Steals Insider Info, Doesn’t Trade On It

    Here’s a heartwarming, refreshing story: A former Bush administration spokesman turned TPG Capital spokesman saw some bad things going down deep in the heart of Texas. Or didn’t see anything, but was pissed because he was denied a promotion. In any event, one of the perks of being TPG spokesman is that you have a […]

    / Jan 29, 2015 at 5:23 PM
  • News

    Comcast Feels Real Bad About Renaming Customer ‘Asshole’ In Official Documents

    A Spokane, Wash., resident named Lisa Brown said after she called Comcast to cut her bill, her husband’s name was changed from Ricardo Brown to “A- -hole Brown.” ven worse, Comcast wouldn’t change the name despite her calls and a visit to the office. Comcast finally apologized after the incriminating bill was posted on Elliott.org, a […]

    / Jan 29, 2015 at 4:20 PM
  • Still looking for the right business partners.


    Cheech And Chong Go To The New York Stock Exchange

    There is still, to the best of our knowledge, no such thing as a pot hedge fund. But soon there will be pot stocks, which means that a pot hedge fund cannot be far off. To say nothing of pot analysts. And pot ETFs. And pot mutual funds.

    / Jan 29, 2015 at 3:36 PM
  • News

    Ratings Agencies Mildly Concerned New Greek Leader Will Do The Things He Says He’ll Do

    Some suggest that Greece’s new communist prime minister, Alexis Tsipras, is all talk, what with his desire to remain within the Eurozone and consequent complete lack of any leverage of any kind. But if he did actually do the things he’s pledged to do, namely tell Angela Merkel to give him a better bailout deal […]

    / Jan 29, 2015 at 3:20 PM
  • brian moynihan


    Bonus Watch ’15: Brian Moynihan’s Got Good News And Less Good News

    The good news? Traders are getting a bonus. The less good news? Said bonus is going to look like this:

    / Jan 29, 2015 at 1:42 PM
  • Screen Shot 2015-01-29 at 1.12.30 PM


    Hunt And Fish Club Opens Its Doors To Wall Street Insiders, The Great Gatsby, Women Who Want To Be “Declawed Like A Lobster”

    Nineteen months ago, Wall Street was offered a tantalizing taste of the Hunt and Fish Club, “A Manhattan eatery catering to hedge fund and private equity professionals,” where everyone who walked through the doors would be “made to feel special and privileged, particularly in front of [their] guests, business associates and clients,” and unlike other […]

    / Jan 29, 2015 at 1:30 PM
  • Screen Shot 2015-01-29 at 12.06.57 PM

    Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 1.29.15

    Rebellion at Standard Chartered as Senior Staff Push for New Leadership (WSJ) Standard Chartered’s two largest shareholders, which collectively control 28% of the bank’s stock, are privately pushing for new leadership, say people familiar with the matter. Customers and regulators recently have told Standard Chartered executives and board members that they are increasingly anxious about […]

    / Jan 29, 2015 at 9:30 AM
  • Write-Offs

    Write-Offs: 1.28.15

    $$$ Central Bankers Ramp Up Currency Wars [WSJ] $$$ S&P Near $1.37 Billion Settlement of Crisis-Era Suits [WSJ] $$$ Big banks fail to dismiss U.S. currency rigging lawsuit [Reuters] $$$ $18 billion earnings has Icahn biting tongue on Apple [NYP] $$$ Actual Idiots Need to Be Told Not to Call 911 About Facebook Outage [Jezebel]

    / Jan 28, 2015 at 6:44 PM
  • Gundlach


    Investors Gather ‘Round To Hear A Story From Uncle Jeff

    Shockingly, this one is not entitled “Baa Baa Black Restraining Device” or “Humping Dumpty.”

    / Jan 28, 2015 at 5:30 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    Dan Loeb’s Agenting Skills Eclipse His Investing Ones

    A few years ago, Chris Kyle, the decorated sniper, taught the Third Point founder how to shoot. The two unlikely buddies met through Loeb’s fellow hedge fund manager, Kyle Bass, where Chris Kyle served as houseguest and shooting instructor, because all hedge fund managers should have live-in shooting instructors. In any event, Loeb took a […]

    / Jan 28, 2015 at 5:20 PM
  • carl icahn brett icahn


    Carl Icahn About Ready To Let Brett Call Him ‘Dad’ At The Office

    Junior really proved himself with that Netflix call. The days of “Sorry, Mr. Icahn, I didn’t realize you were on a call” and “I’m sorry, sir, I’ll make sure I keep my office more organized when investors visit” and pretending they hadn’t seen each other over the weekend at his cousin’s bar mitzvah may soon […]

    / Jan 28, 2015 at 4:39 PM
  • News

    Lawmaker, Former Lawmaker Disagree About Whether Law Should Be Followed

    Both Mel Watt and Jeb Hensarling were in Congress in 2008, when that body passed a law requiring Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to put some of their profits to affordable housing trust/slush funds, depending on your political affiliation. Watt, a Democrat, undoubtedly considers them the former; Hensarling, the Republican head of the House Financial […]

    / Jan 28, 2015 at 1:19 PM
  • s&p


    If All Goes Well, S&P Will Get To Write A Check For $1.37 Billion Soon

    Standard & Poor’s Ratings Services could strike a deal as early as Thursday to pay more than $1.37 billion to resolve crisis-era lawsuits with the Justice Department and more than a dozen states, according to people familiar with the situation. The Justice Department would receive around $687 million, and the states, as a collective group, […]

    / Jan 28, 2015 at 11:48 AM
  • The justification for my position is here somewhere, and I'm going to find it.


    You Can Take Your Insider Trading Appeals Court Ruling And Shove It: Preet Bharara (Paraphrasing)

    He took his time, mulled it over, considered his life choices, worked on his grief, pondered the criticisms and looked the awful, no-easy-insider-trading-convictions future in the face. It is a future the Manhattan USA isn’t ready to accept just yet. Prosecutors will ask a full panel of the Second U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to […]

    / Jan 28, 2015 at 10:00 AM
  • charliegasparinovintage

    Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 1.28.15

    Shake Shack now expects IPO to be priced higher at $17-$19 a share (Reuters) Burger chain Shake Shack Inc (SHAK.N) now expects its initial public offering to be priced at $17-$19 per share, up from $14-$16 expected earlier, valuing the company at up to $674.5 million. The offering of 5 million Class A shares is […]

    / Jan 28, 2015 at 7:56 AM

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