Planespotting

…Advises Him to “RUN FOR YOUR LIFE,” Provides Get Away Car, Gas Money and Snacks GV.jpgJust when you thought our relationship with Bill O’Reilly was out-the-door, done, finished, over, finito—there was an incident at a cocktail party last month, don’t really want to get into it—Papa Bear goes and does something that just reels us right back in to that big, furry, pundit o’ love embrace, hook, line and sinker. And you know what? There’s no place we’d rather be; it feels like coming home. On Tuesday, we reported that Rush Limbaugh—our Rush Limbaugh—had been detained in a Palm Beach airport, coming back from the Dominican Republic, for having a bottle of Viagra prescribed to someone else in his carry-on bag. And, boy, were we upset. o'reilly.jpgNo, actually, we weren’t upset—we were blood-boilingly livid.

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Planespotting: Viagra Edition

GV.jpgRush Limbaugh is like David Geffen in that he will never freaking learn.Background info: we recently became infatuated with Rush Limbaugh; as such, we dedicate this edition of Planespotting to him, his Viagra, and an actual, real life story!* We’re not sure when it started, or why, but lately, R. Limbaugh’s all we can think about. What’s he doing, where’s he going, what’s he thinking, will he come over tonight, should we call him or should we wait for him to call us (he did say he’d call…but that was three rushl.bmpdays ago!)? To be honest, it’s time-consuming and tedious and if we could kick our habit for that big bowl of conservative radio talking love we would, but, thing of it is, we can’t. Like they say, “Kicking coke is one thing, but Rush? Oh, that’s a drug far too powerful.” So what with our hands tied conquering what some people– small minded ones, you realize– would call a “problem” with smack, getting over Rush just wasn’t in the cards, at least not for this week. So, seeing as though we were (/are) still restraining-order worthy obsessed with him, we did what you would expect anyone with such an infatuation to do and started stalking him. Like, hard-core stalking him. Like, crazy-freaking stalking him. Like breaking into his apartment and waiting for him behind the door stalking him. And naturally, we wanted to know where he was at all times, just like any good stalker (and girlfriend!) would; thus, the tracking of his private plane. But guess what?

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GV.jpgA few days ago, we reported that we were “pretty sure”—which is like being “basically sure” or “essentially sure,” for you wordsmiths out there—that the higher-ups at the NYSE had gone south for the Exchange’s annual summer concert series. We mused that they’d (probably) had a “simply fabulous” time, what with President and COO, planespottingggwild.jpgCatherine R. Kinney (most likely) meeting her “absolute favorite” rocker, Garth Brooks; and CEO John A. Thain getting pulled on stage during a duet by the country singing juggernaut that is Kenny Chesney/Tim McGraw. Since that’s the story we went with then, now, we’re going to continue this little narrative of sorts that we’ve begun, and speculate as to what happened the morning after. Think of it as Planespotting: NYSE, The Sequel; it’ll be fun, really.

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GV.jpgBetween June 17 and 19, the NYSE’s Gulfstream IV flew from Brunswick, GA to Memphis, TN, to Austin, TX. For what, pray tell? We really have no idea but how about this: ‘SE’s annual summer concert series, which kicked off this month? If that’s the case, then we’ll continue this random* speculation by saying that NYSE President and COO, Catherine R. Kinney, is (probably) Garth Brooks’s “biggest fan,” while CEO John A. Thain has to have mentioned that he “just loves that Shania Twain, ’cause it rhymes with Thain” on the trading floor, at least once or twice. In exchange for backstage passes to his show, we’re betting that Kenny Chesney will be ringing the bell, sometime in late July, early August, max.
*but entirely plausible

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GV.jpgWe’re going to be straight with you: David Geffen is the thorn in our obsessed-with-stalking-the-planes-of-rich-and-famous people asses. So we’re going to expose what the little scallywag thought would be an elaborately difficult but successful business plan that would a. make him lots and lots of money b. louse up our plan at world domination via planespotting and c. finally make Ashlee Simpson look legit.* Ready? Okay. As you may already know, Geffen, Ron Burkle (billionaire investor), Peter Ueberroth (Commissioner of MLB and former Olympics organizer) and Eli Broad (philanthropist AKA a nobody) are interested in buying the LATimes. AshJessNose.jpg As you also likely know, Geffen the Gay has recently been at the forefront of a major question posed by The New York Observer,**as to the mystery inhabitant of a loft he just purchased for $10 million at 158 Mercer Street. Geffen, you see, is one of the trustees registered on the deed-transfer record, but Marci Klein, daughter of Calvin and seasoned Saturday Night Live producer, was revealed in April to be the future inhabitant of the 11th floor apartment; so that’s confusing and upsetting and off-putting. But just wait, it’ll all soon be resolved. Since you obviously have a subscription to US Weekly (excuse us, your “girlfriend does and [you] just found it lying on the coffee table”), you know that Ashlee Simpson was the recent recipient of a new face. Simpson, one of Geffen’s most gifted clients,
*While making sure to say that, although we believe this to be true, it is entirely unconfirmed (as most brilliant conspiracy theories are).
**So a minor/less-than-minor question to the rest of the world.

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Planespotting: Morgan Stanley Butters Up Their Interns

GV.jpgWhich is to say, they rub Land O’ Lakes all over their bodies in a way most (small-minded) HR deparments would likely frown upon. OR, if you’re not down for that kind of thing, “butters [them] up” in the proverbial sense, which is to say they fly their 19-21 year old minions to work on their private plane. On May 31, MS’s Gulfstream V flew from Ohio State University to New York, presumably carrying 20+ over eager underlings to begin their summer of hard labor. Goldman Sachs’ interns are reportedly livid, as all they’ve been treated to are “crappy” tee-shirts that say “I interned at Goldman Sachs and all I got was this lousy shirt”; Lehman Brothers’ peons are (rumored to be) equally as angry, because according to one whose name cannot be revealed, “LB promised me the world and all I got was this unwanted pregnancy.”

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Planespotting: The Revenge

GV.jpg[Editor’s Note: DealBreaker intern Bess Levin takes over the Planespotting beat today, with 100 Variations on Planespotting–a comprehensive report on where everyone’s favorite private planes have been today and yesterday.]
Planespotting: With Kids
Today’s Planespotting update is a heartbreaking tale of what happens when a family is torn apart by hundreds of millions of dollars. Between May 31 and June 7, Matthew Pritzker’s plane– a Gulfstream Aerospace Gulfstream IV–flew to Boca Raton; Brunswick, Georgia; Atlanta, Georgia; Savannah, Georgia; and White Plains, New York. Pritzker who, with his sister Liesel Matthews, sued his genetic-material-benefactors for $500 million from their Hyatt Hotels, TransUnion Credit Bureau, Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines-built fortune, is now one of the two richest young adults in the world, his sister being the other. These kids put the Olsen twins to shame, and Lindsay Lohan’s BFF, oil heir Brandon Davis, too– and Pritzker is flying to such hum drum destinations as Boca, Georgia, and White Plains?

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GV.jpgAccording to Planespotter [but not otherwise confirmed], the IAC Bombadier (tail number N393BZ) is on the move. This time from Germany’s Bremen Neueland airport to Van Nuys in Los Angeles. Also unconfirmed: a Lear registered to Denise Rich, whose husband Marc famously recieved a lame-duck pardon from President Bill Clinton, today flew from New York’s Westchester Airport to Arkansas’s Rogers Municipal Carter Field and back again.