Dealbreaker - A Wall Street Tabloid - Business News Headlines and Financial Gossip

Entry: Gasparino: CFO Erin Callan, COO Joseph Gregory Out At Lehman Brothers

posted by HAM05

Jun 12, 2008 9:54AM

dude she is still smoking and is now all vulnerable

erin,
if youre listening im planning to pull a bank heist and an israel very soon adn will need a cfo/ball washer for those hot summerst in mustique. please contact bess for contact info

love,
ham05

Entry: Becky Quick Tells You How To Dress Like A "Financier"

posted by HAM05

Jun 12, 2008 2:59PM

on her birthday and other special occasions, she wears the finest pelts of cambodian baby

Entry: Scenario Contest Friday

posted by HAM05

Jun 13, 2008 1:00PM

its the personification of bess' soul out on its daily 10-6 excursion

(gnom gnom gnom)

Entry: Scenario Contest Friday

posted by HAM05

Jun 13, 2008 1:03PM

also did i miss the airplane sans partner post? was there some episode of gossip girl i didnt watch? some mitch hedberg skit i haven't seen?

Entry: Government Officials Worry About Bond Market's Muted Reaction To Lehman News

posted by HAM05

Jun 13, 2008 4:51PM

wonder what its gonna take to make myself 'too big to fail'. im thinking lots and lots of cake.

Entry: Lehman Brothers Releases Second Quarter Earnings

posted by HAM05

Jun 16, 2008 10:18AM

i also see the author as mer, hes not crazy

Entry: Live Blogging The LEH Conference Call, Again

posted by HAM05

Jun 16, 2008 11:19AM

its the sound of her vagina becoming self aware

Entry: Opening Bell: 6.17.08

posted by HAM05

Jun 17, 2008 8:58AM

@8:38 i had this same argument with my dumbass roomate but i will paraphrase again...

chrystler guaranteeing 2.99/gal is just another discount that they bake into the price of a car. they cap this at 12k mi a year for 3 years so assuming the price of gas goes up to $6/gal and a car gets 20mi/gal they end up having to shell out $5400 - taking into account the markup, doesnt make that big of a diff when youre dealing with a 30k car that they would otherwise rebate the shit out of anyway.

Entry: Jamie Dimon: We Got Bear On The Cheap

posted by HAM05

Jun 17, 2008 2:36PM

2:27 - agreed. moreover, we can extend this argument to all greeks, sheep fucking motherfuckers. hope they never win another soccer game, ever.

Entry: Help Us Solve The Case

posted by HAM05

Jun 17, 2008 2:57PM

is birdfucking possible? dont birds have cloacas??

someone PLEASE advise

Entry: Who's Most Likely To Get Fired? VPs, Second Only To Drug-Using CEOs, Says Breaking Views

posted by HAM05

Jun 18, 2008 3:40PM

cleanup on isle DESK please

Entry: DealBreaker's Guide To Getting Laid Off: A Modest Resignation Notice

posted by HAM05

Jun 18, 2008 5:22PM

bess the only dissapointing thing about this letter is that it doesnt go far enough - its naughty but not dirty - i demand dirty at the minimum, filthy if possible.

love,
its a fucking egret

Entry: Blind Item: Who Is Now Legally Obligated To Tell Billy Ash Which Way The Wind Blows?

posted by HAM05

Jun 19, 2008 1:47PM

definitely ron blarney.

Entry: Egg-Fearing BoA Interns Compete In McMuffin "Challenge"

posted by HAM05

Jun 20, 2008 2:01PM

im having our interns fuck each other in the ass to see who can last the longest. quickest to make liquid romance loses. winners from each heat have to bang one another. first one to cry wins.

Entry: Egg-Fearing BoA Interns Compete In McMuffin "Challenge"

posted by HAM05

Jun 20, 2008 4:06PM

@4:03 i hear they have massage parlors for that sort of thing...

girl - its a race. if i win the race, i deserve to be pumped up about it!

Entry: Who Tried (And Failed) To Save Bear Stearns?

posted by HAM05

Jun 30, 2008 1:34PM

what?? thats it, im moving to the balkans.

if we live in a country where a man of means cant furiously masturbate into towels in front of 16yo hotties, then i dont know man...were losing it

Entry: And We're Back

posted by HAM05