HeadlessHorseman's Profile

  • From the bowels of the earth emerges the HeadlessHorseman

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Entry: Mama Goffer Threatens To Call The Police (Not On Her Sons)

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 06, 2009 6:19PM

Bess,

I get that you didn't write it. Does that also imply that you have no voice (however small and inconsequential) in the content of this site? I don't know...I thought that's what "editor" meant.

Let's all have a good laugh at the expense of these assholes' mother. It's even funnier since she's probably doing really well about now. And it's not enought to just laugh at her...let's make sure she knows it. Besides, if anyone deserves it, surely it's the mother.

You've got to be please with the page views though? So I guess in that respect it's worthwhile. Really classy.

Entry: Mama Goffer Threatens To Call The Police (Not On Her Sons)

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 06, 2009 6:50PM

@ Anal_yst

Agreed. If anyone has gone too far, clearly it's me.

Provoking an obviously distraught and presumably innocent grandmother regarding her two sons likely going to prison (thereby leaving her grandchildren effectively fatherless) as a means of pandering to a bunch of schadenfreude enthusiasts is right on par. Or perhaps asking the mother “Dalia - how are you feeling about your sons arrest today. Did the FBI get the wrong boys?” is honestly what passes for inquisitive journalism around here? Given the circumstances, and the FBI’s notorious tendency to publicly arrest completely innocent people in conjunction with large sting operations…these seem like a genuine questions need to be answered. And who would know more about a complex insider trading scheme then…wait for it…the accused mother!

Besides, it's apparently to be expected due to the "parental responsibility" that you've invoked. It's practically common knowledge that she was a horrible mother and, as such, is deserving of being further humiliated for our enjoyment.

As for Bess, I wouldn’t have taken issue with her if she wasn’t so quick to offer up a condescending cop out.

Entry: Mama Goffer Threatens To Call The Police (Not On Her Sons)

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 06, 2009 8:06PM

Bess,

How is it my fucking fault for not knowing that BreakingMedia has a thing for inflating job titles? What is this Fashion Meets Finance? In any event, I apologize for not knowing that your job title is more of an “honorary type of thing.” Boy do I feel stupid.

@66

I agree with your first sentence, but disagree with the rest. I suppose such differences of opinion are likely the result of you getting your "news" from TMZ and my preference for The Economist.

Tax Chick,

Sorry. My wife’s on the rag so that means no sensy time for me. Just some misdirected frustration with a dramatic flair.

Anal_yst,

Glad to help. I’ll try to cook up a new routine, but negativity is just so easy. That said, sometimes I even tire of my own writing.

InfiniteGuest,

I doubt that Teri really needed to provide such an “opportunity.” Despite the horrible spelling, I would assume Dalia knows how to use a phone if she had something to say.

TB: “How are you feeling about your sons arrest today?”

Dalia: “It’s really exciting. I’m a big fan of that Law and Order TV series and so I can’t wait to be a part media circus that will likely consume my life in the near term. Do you think I’ll get to be on TV?”

TB: “Did the FBI get the wrong boys”

Dalia: “Well, given my extensive knowledge of the applicable securities laws, and the fact that I have virtually unrestricted access to what my sons do while at work just like most mothers, especially those with sons that work in finance…I can tell you that they’re almost certainly innocent. I’m currently leveraging my encyclopedic knowledge of the trades they were involved in to mount a defense against these preposterous allegations. Must have been two coincidental cases of mistaken identities. Everyone knows how careless the FBI typically is with those big sting operations.

I mean what was Teri expecting?

Entry: Eliot Spitzer Needs Our Help

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 11, 2009 6:02PM

...David apparently lists seven reasons...

Difficult thought it may be to concentrate when Dupre's tits are involved, I'm pretty sure it's "Davis". Moreover, the link doesn't reveal the seven reasons as one would've thought given the chosen text.

Carry on,

HH

Entry: Who Should Take Over For Benmosche?

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 11, 2009 6:07PM

Jacques Nasser?

Entry: RBS Has A New Revenue Generating Plan (And It Involves Schnapps, Karaoke, And Maybe Lap Dances)

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 13, 2009 4:22PM

In a related story, several members of the PR firm retained by RBS to salvage what little is left of the bank's once esteemed reputation have apparently committed suicide earlier this afternoon.

We're currently receiving unconfirmed reports that the PR specialists left a group suicide note reading in part, "It seemed like a good idea at the time: we knew that banks had money and were allegedly stocked with bright, well-educated people. We figured with a little coaching, RBS would've been able to began repairing its damaged reputation."

Entry: What Should Maria Bartiromo's Dealbreaker Column Be About?

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 13, 2009 4:27PM

@ 10

Maria approximates the length of the donkey dong she claims to have taken during a night of reckless drinking in Nuevo Laredo while "pursuing a story".

Entry: RBS Has A New Revenue Generating Plan (And It Involves Schnapps, Karaoke, And Maybe Lap Dances)

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 13, 2009 4:39PM

In addition to the response issued by RBS earlier today, Stevie Schwine, owner of Tosser's Ball, a London gentleman's club has also criticized Mr. Weatherhill noting, "While Mr. Weatherhill appears to have done a respectable job during his tenure with the IBA, he clearly knows little about the adult entertainment industry, specifically gentleman's clubs. Among the many distinctions, our customer's typically enjoy our services, and we don't require government-funded bailouts. We're also consistently profitable."

Entry: Tim Geithner Will Not Be Showing Himself Out

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 11:54AM

Re: the picture in WSJ's EconBlog

"Plus I mix it up so clean when I'm on the 1's and 2's" responded Geithner as he began beatboxing while simulating what he later referred to as "scratching wax".

Entry: Tim Geithner Will Not Be Showing Himself Out

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 12:04PM

"And when there's two safes in need of some crackin'...I just get all ambidextrous on that shit like this here”

- Safecracker Supreme

Entry: Ratings Agencies To Australia: F-You

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 12:14PM

Jon,

Excellent work. The heading is succinct, the picture priceless and you've sprinkled in nuggets such as "lily-white".

Cheerio mate!


On another note, I'm surprised Amanda Drury has yet to weigh in on this post. Hope she's okay.

Entry: Tim Geithner Will Not Be Showing Himself Out

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 12:49PM

Tax Chick,

Nice. Imagine how depressed he must've been when his attempt to relieve himself from the unrelenting burden of his several previous epic failures resulted in…wait for it…another failure.

That said, I think we might be missing something here. John Mack indicated last night that Wall Street may be wrestling with an addiction of sorts. If we assume that to be true, then perhaps the Obama-Geithner plan is to let the addicts “hit rock bottom”. In such an endeavor, the Treasury sees its role as being to facilitate such a bottoming out via various bailouts (akin to spotting a junkie a few more rocks of crack).

This raises the all important question posed by none other than the late George Carlin:

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Entry: In Spite Of Being The Worst Job On Wall Street, BofA CEO Is Actually The Best Job In Finance

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 2:07PM

No wonder BoA is having such trouble filling the position! The article makes no mention of the many office appointments a prospective CEO could expect to inherit including:

A “Days of Thunder” themed Mello Yello soda machine complete with Busch Light “tall boys” upgrade

A custom mad noose fashioned from P90X resistance bands (for those days when you think you might want to end it, but aren’t really that committed to the idea)

One gently used tuxedo tee shirt with complimentary Oakland Raiders zorts (shorts fashioned from zubaz pants for the uniformed)

The remainder of this year’s barbeque sauce of the month club (unless it’s Sweet Baby Ray’s)

Entry: In Spite Of Being The Worst Job On Wall Street, BofA CEO Is Actually The Best Job In Finance

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 2:23PM

*uninformed...and possibly uniformed

Entry: Obama: Starting to Get the Hang of This Whole 'Prejudging' Thing

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 3:02PM

Who was it that said (paraphrasing) “The problem with a jury trial is that the people who make the decisions are too stupid to get out of jury duty”?

I’m no lawyer (and this question will certainly remove any doubt), but isn’t the principle determinant in deciding the trial’s venue (as it pertains to this case) whether KSM is accused of an act of war (military tribunal) or civil criminal action (civilian venue)?

Ah, never mind…if Obama’s involved than it’s got to be okay (just like the White House’s jobs statistic from nonexistent congressional precincts as reported by ABC). That’s why I voted for him…several times and in multiple precincts just like those helpful folks from ACORN showed me.

Entry: Making a Vulgar Comment Now Gets You Fired?

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 3:25PM

Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.

Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch."

Frank: Cock. Balls.

Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.

Entry: Do Wall Street Executives "Defecate In Their Pants" When Andrew Ross Sorkin Calls Them

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 3:38PM

"...cause them to lose control of their bowls"

At which point they spill cereal all over their desks?

Entry: Making a Vulgar Comment Now Gets You Fired?

posted by HeadlessHorseman

Nov 19, 2009 5:01PM

@45

You're sound to be a particularly douchey fucktard which I can only assume is the result of having gotten sand in your pussy in a misdirected attempt to see if you were missing out the ass lobster phenomena so often referenced on ATL. Hint: don’t use live lobsters next time.

Hope you manage to amble through the rest of your day without inadvertently inserting you cock in a pencil sharpener. Oh yeah, and you're a hermaphrodite.

Checking my motives,

HH