Sledgehammer's Profile
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Entry: The Swiss And Disaster
posted by Sledgehammer
Apr 24, 2008 10:53AM
The Swiss are nothing if frugal. It is a Calvinist principle that there is an entrance fee to heaven to keep the riff-raff out.
Entry: OK, Union Bank of Don Rickles, How's This For Comedy: Your Stock's Down 24% YTD
posted by Sledgehammer
Apr 24, 2008 3:48PM
UBS still, for some reason, has a hiring mandate in Prime Brokerage. From speaking with existing staff in PB and elsewhere, they are expecting a sh!tload of layoffs.
Entry: Good News For Financial Humor
posted by Sledgehammer
May 02, 2008 11:29AM
The fact that this has gone on for as long as it has proves one thing: The US and many other nations don't give a flying fuck about Africa
Entry: Citi Absolutely Not Kidding Around Anymore
posted by Sledgehammer
May 07, 2008 10:19AM
they might be up all night but that doesn't mean that they ever get any shit done over there
Entry: Citi Absolutely Not Kidding Around Anymore
posted by Sledgehammer
May 07, 2008 11:26AM
A few suggestions on the new slogan:
- Citi: It is no coincidence it rhymes with shitty
- Citi: We fuck up more shit before 10am than most people do in a lifetime
- The Sancho Panza of finance
- Silencing the opposition by indisputable fuckups
- We cannot find your ass with both hands and a flashlight
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 2:23PM
This department didn't stand a chance with the merger.
As an aside, JPM has already established several layers of JPM mgmt over Prime Brokerage (which it has said they plan to keep largely intact). Although this makes things far less efficient, it would be indeed a sight to see the old Bear PB honchos having to kiss the asses of their new masters.
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 2:50PM
@2:31
JPM does have a solid FX Pb business. I was speaking in terms of a larger, consolidated PB business (incorporating all products).
Bear was not that geared towards non-US clientele in the PB space despite the fact that they had some very smart and capable people working in their London and other non-NYC offices.
The sad fact of the whole JPM/Bear PB merger is that one thing will most likely be lost: the ability to put a face and name to each and every department/product within PB at Bear Stearns (I am sure this was also the case outside of PB). Banks are essentially faceless entities, mired in processes and procedures designed to allow for maximum scalability in the event the bank hires or fires 10,000 or so people.
Bear, despite its faults being large in number, could hustle and deliver a personalized PB service to its clientele. Bear PB personnel definitely could make decisions on the fly (except when up against their army of legal and complaince mafiosi) as opposed to what will happen with JPM.
Sometimes I wonder if the quest for balance sheet has brought with it a grim, impersonal future of mass production and boiler plate service.
-Sledgehmammer
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 3:04PM
@2:59
I am hoping for that but as someone who deals with pretty much every PB out there on a daily basis and has done so for quite some time I am not close to being comfortable with putting them in the same category when it comes to service.
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 3:33PM
@3:09
Yes, I am
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 3:40PM
@3:15
Although I would definitely say that PB business is inherently sticky and by that I mean that it is not so easy to move over to another PB. However, I have seen just as many HFs move Pb business due to service as they would for price. There is always the risk of pricing your business too low through brutal negotiations. In the end, the PBs need to make money for it to be a better relationship. I find that the PBs that are extremely aggressive on pricing tend to be spread too thin on service reps - this leads to errors in my opinion. Pricing should reflect balances.
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 3:44PM
@3:21
The Bear/JPM PB merger in terms of a total one firm umbrella will not be ready for 18 months - 2 years. This is coming from insiders working on the project. Keep in mind that this will not even catch them up with the competition because the markets, products and strategies will not likely remain static for two years.
The problem with many firms out there at present is that they view PB as an accomodation service instead of as a business. This needs to be its own animal to effectively serve as a gateway to the rest of the firm.
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 3:59PM
@3:52
MS will be laying off some people firm-wide which means that a large chunk will come from fixed income and other "focus" areas related to subprime toxicity. The rest will be spread over the whole firm which of course will become highly political in nature. Look at what happened last week at UBS - clusterfuck.
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 4:11PM
@3:53
I guess a lot of the misconception with those starting or managing a PB business at these banks is that they believe that there is a quick way in. There really isn't. This takes about 5 years starting from scratch if the proper $$ are spent on tech and retaining talent. It is such a client-driven business that it requires a firm to either be a niche player or a full-service player.
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 4:23PM
@4:15
Tier 1:
Morgan Stanley
Goldman Sachs
Tier 2:
Deutsche Bank (will soon be in the top tier)
UBS
Lehman Brothers (for quant strategies only)
Barclays
Credit Suisse (keeps moving up)
Tier 3:
Citi
Merrill Lynch
Bear/JPM
That would be it for the PBs who operate globally across product classes.
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 4:38PM
@4:29
There has to be scalability that only comes from doing this for 4-5 years but not too much so that the firm turns into a faceless culture.
I am very bullish on Deutsche and CS in this space. ML is starting to turn things around within PB (West Coast and London teams are solid).
The biggest mistake I see these firms make is believing their own BS and not paying attention to their competition. There exists no competitive intelligence function in a formal manner at any of the PBs. Developing too insular of a culture leaves a firm open to personnel raids, being late to technology advances, and losing clientele. Just ask Bear Stearns PB
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 4:52PM
@4:47
I was at one quite some time ago.
The PB surveys are a bit of a scam in that all the PBs try to get everyone to fill them out and give them top marks.
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 4:53PM
@4:49
It would not be a life wasted
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 4:59PM
@4:55
I would have to disagree with you on that. Although for a L/S equity fund their technology/reporting is quite decent, for a multi-product, multi-strategy fund they are nowhere close. Check out MS' product as well as ML's.
Entry: Bear Stearns Forex: Notices Go Out From JP Morgan
posted by Sledgehammer
May 12, 2008 5:06PM
@5:00
She caught me
Entry: LOL? More Like ROFLMAOWPIMP!
posted by Sledgehammer
Apr 04, 2008 10:42AM
It was a strange event. JPM crew led by Neil Sherman and Steve Black and some other guy who spoke only once (Hernandez?).
Seething anger amongst feeble attempts at bonding.
Bear crew led by Mike Minikes. Lots of HFs represented and a lod of Bear PB Sales and Relationship Managers shitting their pants.
Minikes is trying to get everyone to stay but most have one foot out the door.