Schadenfreude

John Devaney Will Never Stop Posing

Last week we lamented that there were no pictures of John Devaney standing in front of his helicopter, which was recently put on the market for $10.995 million, on account of a “change [in] corporate travel requirements” for the hedge fund manager. And also, United Capital Asset Management’s precipitously dwindling fortunes. (June was losses of 30.4%, July is guessed to have matched or exceeded, August—sky’s the limit!) Today, we lament no longer.

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Will The Suffering Ever End?

devaney.03.jpgFounder and general partner of United Capital Asset Management, John Devaney, whose fund booked a 30.4% loss for June, is not in a good place. After senselessly being forced to put his yacht, inaptly named “Positive Carry,” on the market, in addition to his ski lodge, further losses have made it necessary for the captain-no-longer to put his helicopter, a Sikorksy S76C, up for sale as well.
According to the brochure carrying the listing (asking price: $10.995 million), the reason for the sale is a “change [in] corporate travel requirements.” Possible buyers include Ben Bernanke and the Citadel commodities desk, which is categorically NOT blowing up, and can obviously afford it). Personally, we’re all pretty broken up about the news over here. Specifically, that there aren’t any available glamour shots of Devaney in front of the chopper. (Yet.)
Earlier: When Words Bite You In The Ass: John Devaney
He’s Grounded [NYP]

When Words Bite You In The Ass: John Devaney

devaney.03.jpgWe hate to kick a man when he’s down, and on the brink of homelessness, but we haven’t been this grateful for the existence of the internet since we discovered the Cats ‘n Racks section of Cuteoverload.com (hat tip: James Simons). Soon-to-be former yacht/ski lodge owner John Devaney, whose United Capital Markets Asset Management restricted investor withdrawals after some bets didn’t exactly go as planned, booked a 30.4% loss for June, and is expected to match or exceed those losses in July, had some interesting things to say about subprime bonds (of which he is a victim) at the ASF 2007 conference in Las Vegas last February. To wit: “I personally hate subprime—and I’m kind of hoping the whole thing explodes. You are just dancing on the edge of a razor blade. They just fall off a cliff. They are awful investments.” Ah, well. Hindsight—it’s 2/20. (I’ll be here all day—meaning I’ll be here ‘til 1).
Anyhoo, let’s do a poll:

Hedge Fund Manager On Gilded Path To Homelessness

devaney.03.jpgThis isn’t even funny anymore. United Capital Markets Asset Management manager John Devaney, who just last week was forced to put his yacht up for sale after his fund restricted investor withdrawals due to some trading bets that didn’t exactly pan out, may have to sell his waterfront mansion in Miami. The estate is considered to be in serious “jeopardy,” now that United’s Horizon ABS funds have booked a 30.4% loss for June. Once valued at $620 million, the fund’s portfolios are now estimated to be worth around $460 million with losses for July expected to be even worse, if that’s possible (which it is—Jeff Larson knows what we’re talking about). If this guy is stripped of his other properties in New York, or around Miami, or his helicopter or Gulfstream jet, we’re really going to lose it.
Devaney Capsized by Bonds [NYP]