Rush & Molloy send an update from Tigerland. It seems that the tiger striped-tattooed porn star has started to remember Seth Tobias. Christopher Dauenhauer, who goes by Tiger professionally, tells the Daily News columnists that "I often went with Seth to great destinations. He may have talked about me with Filomena during his drug binges. I may have been the only guy he'd ever been with. He may have thought I was his boyfriend. She may have gotten jealous."

There's nothing at all we can add to this story.

A wild Tiger tale in Tobias death [Daily News]

Skirt-chasing supermarket mogul Ron Burkle is often said to have done for Bill Clinton on the west coast what Jeffrey Epstein did for the former president on the east coast. (Whatever that is.) So with Epstein now facing lawsuits from the Loch Ness monster and other creatures who allege that they were victims of his unsavory appetites, it only makes sense that Burkle would find himself in the headlines again.

Of course, the charges against Burkle are not so much criminal as potentially embarrassing. An alleged former paramour has told Page Six that Burkle is a "sexually inept lover." Chevyn McClintock describes her attempts to bolster his sexual confidence by getting him drunk. "The only area in life he appeared not to have confidence in was in natural sexual aggression, so I would initiate that transition after a few strong cocktails or large glasses of wine," she writes in her untitled memoir she is hoping will attract the attention of a publisher.

So who is Cheyvn? Her website gives her version of the story of her "beautiful gracious life." (Although writing about how you got a rich guy drunk to get him into the sack and then complaining about his performance is hardly what we might call "gracious.")

From her birth into a classic, traditional, elegant American family, Chevyn has continuously lived a beautiful gracious life. Ms. McClintock has extensive experience in interior design (award-winning, published and televised) Feng Shui Master; Art & Antiquities private dealer (clientele includes some of the most important and influential collectors in America) hostess extraordinaire in Los Angeles, Texas and New York City; fine wine connoisseur and collector (as acknowledged in the New York Times) and patron & fund-raiser for numerous social and charitable origanizations.

Claim: Burkle's A Dud In Bed [Page Six]

Cheyvn McClintock [Cheyvn.com]

The lawyers for admitted sex-offender Jeffrey Epstein are girding their loins for the flood of lawsuits they expect from young women who may claim to have been victimized by Epstein in his pursuit of erotically charged massages. First things first: make sure you tag the girls as little junkie sluts who are just out for a dollar.

"You are a girl who is broke who uses drugs. Here's your shot at getting some money," one source tells Page Six.

Now admittedly, when a guy as rich as Epstein is rumored to be lands in trouble, there will definitely be con-artists and frauds who will seek a fast buck by alleging to be victims. As a girl we know likes to say, "Shit on yourself for long enough, and the flies will start to notice." But the lawyers don’t just expect suits from random buck-seekers. Apparently they’ve identified quite a few girls—forty according to Page Six—who they expect could “come forward.” Some of these girls didn’t even give Epstein a rub down—but they were in his house, apparently.

It seems Epstein’s lawyers have given up trying to save their client’s reputation. Now it’s just about trying to save his cash. Because if they cared about his reputation, they might not want to emphasize how many random girls, possibly drug addicts, who just happened to be wandering around Epstein’s house at any given moment.

But then again, we’ve never hung out with Epstein so maybe this is just standard in his circle. No biggie. Really. Who doesn’t have random strung-out teenagers over for lunch regularly?

The lawyers are also reportedly establishing some sort of claims fund, a lump sum settlement to pay off all the alleged victims of Epstein’s massage habit. Which makes us feel kind of bad for the settlement fund, Oh, settlement fund! How far you have fallen. From smoking suits across the country to this low-state. Don’t worry, settlement fund. Their will be better days.

Sex Case Victims Lining Up [Page Six]

Yesterday in Write-Offs we linked to the story that the New York Post’s Roddy Boyd describes with these words: “Ahard-partying Wall Street trader and his ex-girlfriend are in court over an allegedly broken $100,000 promise to keep on the straight and narrow.

In case you missed it, the full story tells the tale of how Greg Calvino, who was working at RBC as a trader, wrote his girlfriend Elisa Kwon a $100,000 and allegedly told her she could cash it if he ever went back to his alleged drug-addled, late-night whoring ways. After Calvino's stayed out late on night at a strip club two and a half years ago, Kwon cashed the check.

Mature audience firm AdultVest will launch a hedge fund later this year invested exclusively in the porn industry. Under the guidance of hedge fund vet Francis Koenig, AdultVest has planned an upcoming conference in LA this year to match institutional and accredited investors with “exciting adult related investment opportunities” (AV reports that they already have 1,000 accredited investors and nearly 300 adult companies pre-registered). The firm states that the fund will offer a collateralized preferred dividend as high as LIBOR plus 5%. Koenig notes that "The metrics can be extremely attractive, and the benefits are clear.” Indeed.

Sex and absolute returns [FT Alphaville]

To be honest, if the headline involves Katie Couric we’re probably not reading the story. That’s why we skipped Page Six’s scoop on Katie Couric’s new “boy toy” Brooks Perlin. But we shouldn’t have. The thirty-three year old Perlin is a three-time hedge fund washout, according to the Sixers.

Not only has Perlin worked for three Connecticut-based hedge funds in the last five years, he hasn't had a full-time job since September, a source told the Post's Marianne Garvey. He last worked at Keel Capital Management in Stamford but left to start a Queens-based company that creates environmentally friendly, green-building products. Before that, the spin-class-obsessed triathlete worked for a short time at both Pequot Capital Management and Grange Park, a hedge fund that's now closed..

The Sixers also note that Perlin has a history of dating older women so it may be slightly inappropriate to apply the “urban cougar” label to her. After all, cougars are predators and Couric may just be aging prey. But we have to admit we enjoyed underthecounter's extended metaphor: "Dangerous animals stalk all corners of Wall Street. Tiger Cubs come to mind, and although Chase Coleman might be hitting the ball out of the park, not all Tiger Cubs are quite so fearsome. The latest big hunt on the Street involves a cougar."

Note to UTC: next time include sharks, dogs, hogs, cows, vultures and John Mack.

Preying on Wall Street(ers) [underthecounter]
Couric's Guy Quick To Switch [Page Six]

Radar's "Fresh Intelligence" reports that the billionaire money manager has been spotted in New York City, up to his old tricks.

The threat of jail doesn't seem to be having much effect on Jeffrey Epstein. Earlier this month, a model ran into the billionaire playboy (and former Radar investor)—who is under felony indictment in Florida for alleged sex crimes—on Manhattan's Upper East Side. The model asked what he was up to. Epstein's bellowed answer: "Chasing pussy!"

We’re not sure what story is making this a better morning.

First off, we have this story report in Market Beat that the number News Corp supplied to shareholders on their proxy statement for solicitation agent Georgeson Inc. was actually the number for some sort of call girl or phone sex agency. Shareholders calling the number got an automated woman’s voice directing them to another number where they could “get together with exciting people everywhere,” Market Beat says. The second number was answered by a woman saying “Hey, sexy guy” and led to callers being asked for credit card numbers so they could chat with “working girls.”

Second, there’s the part of the story where News Corp makes this mistake twice, on both its preliminary proxy filed February 5 and its definitive statement on March 1.

Third, there’s this: no-one has asked News Corp about this screw-up until now. Apparently, News Corp shareholders are either really, really horny. Or maybe it’s just that no one ever calls proxy solicitation agents.

Got any entertaining corporate screw-ups? Botched proxy statements? Typos that gave you a laugh? A gratuitously marked up presentation slide? Send it our way. Tips@dealbreaker.com. Thanks!

Rupert’s Wrong Number [Market Beat @ Wall Street Journal]

Hello Sara Kellen!

It’s been a while since we last heard from you but according to the website for Patrick McMullen Company—and more specifically, caption writer Anita Sarko—you made an appearance at a party for luxury brand Allegra Hicks thrown at the home of Ghislaine Maxwell on Tuesday, March 13, 2007.

Who are these people? Of course you remember Jeffrey Epstein, the mysterious money manager who was indicted for soliciting prostitution after a police investigation allegedly uncovered him employing local high school girls for naked rub-down sessions. (Epstein, of course, defends himself by saying he’s just “very passionate” about massages.) Ghislaine Maxwell is Robert Maxwell’s daughter. She had a long-running relationship with Epstein that no-one has quite figured out.

And Sara? She was—or perhaps is—Jeffrey Epstein’s assistant. In the police documents released at the time of Epstein’s indictment, she was accused of helping Epstein acquire his underage lady-friends. This is the first time Sara’s been spotted in what they used to call “New York society” since the allegations against her and Epstein made headlines.

Sarah Kellen could not be reached for comment, of course.

Hamish Bowles, Ghislaine Maxwell and Lillian von Stauffenberg dinner for ALLEGRA HICKS [PatrickMcMullen.com]

Merrill Sex Case Yields Tough Battle, Puny Win [Bloomberg]

Remember Jeffrey Epstein?

Just in case last summer's nastiness has escaped your mind here's a quick refresher. Epstein is a mysterious Palm Beach money manager. Last year he was accused of soliciting prostitution. The charges could have been much worse. His dream team of high powered lawyers hit the sunshine state and headed-off far more serious charges related to the accusations that he had paid women and girls as young as 14 to give him erotic massages at his home. (Never mind the hints of rape and sex slaves contained in the police reports.) So, yeah, we're talking about that guy.

Why are we talking about him? Well, it's been eight months since he was indicted, and so far nothing has happened. Nothing. Not a thing. Even less than that.

The Palm Beach Post has the No Gnus Is Bad Gnus update:

Nearly eight months after Palm Beach tycoon Jeffrey Epstein was charged with felony solicitation of prostitution, there has been no discernible progress in his case. No witnesses deposed. No trial date set. Nothing, save for routine court hearings reset without explanation.

"Usually that would be unusual," said criminal defense attorney Glenn Mitchell, who has no involvement in the case.

There's more over at our brother blog, SuperMogul.

And, of course, there's a lot more in our Jeffrey Epstein archives.

Delays in Epstein case unusual, lawyers say [Palm Beach Post]

The New York Post reports another reason to eat lunch at your desk today:

An artist whose nude portraits have been displayed in galleries around the world has been busted and charged with managing a brothel in the Financial District that catered to wealthy Wall Streeters.

Manhattan Vice Squad cops on Wednesday arrested Mary Jane Winkler, 64, who for years ran a chic art gallery at 100 Greenwich St. that doubled as a one-stop sex shop for lunch-hour lotharios, police said.

"She was the madam," said one cop.

One of the busted prostitutes actually complains that the brothel was "unfairly targeted."

A massage with a happy ending cost about $200 an hour, Carvalho said.

For an extra $150, the girls would throw in straight or oral sex, police sources added.

"All the girls went to school. They were really nice and all lived normal lives," Carvalho said, adding it was the safest place she ever worked.

"Who cares what rich businessmen do with their money?" she said.

Wall Street 'Madam' Busted [New York Post]

You've got to love how various news organizations struggle with how to handle the Money Honey-Citigroup scandal. On the one hand, it's genuine news involving one of the top guys at one of America's top banks and one of the top financial reporters in the business. On the other, it's got all sorts of possibly tawdry implications that make news editors squirm. And on the all important third hand, it's about another journalist and the prime directive in the secret manual of journalism meta-ethics is that we don't bust each other for anything short of outright lying, plagiarism and other forms of dishonesty. Alleged sex scandals? You just don't go there.

So you have to love how this article tries to act like its about Maria Bartiromo's conflicting financial relationships but ultimately its about what all the articles are about: sex and Maria's looks. Here's the concluding paragraphs:

Columnist Dennis Kneale on Forbes magazine's website defended her: "Bartiromo would not have been a target if she weighed 200 pounds and looked like Winston Churchill."

True. Nor would CNBC have hired her.

And, of course, Todd Thompson would still have his job if she looked like Winston. Because he never would have invited Winnie Bartiromo onto that plane with him.

Oh, and big ups to whatever headline writer decided to work the words "sticky situation" into the paper.

Business relationships of CNBC's 'Money Honey' could turn her credibility into a sticky situation [Star Tribune]

With a little help from the Journal...

A survey released today by Prince & Associates in collaboration with wealth consultant Hannah Grove found that 70% of today’s multimillionaires said being wealthy gave them “better sex.” A majority also said wealth gave them “more adventurous and exotic” sex lives.

The survey polled nearly 600 men and women with net worths of more than $30 million and a mean net worth of $89 million. While not scientific, the survey is large for such a wealthy group and offers a rare glimpse of the sex lives of today’s rich. The survey polled men and women who were the financial “principals,” meaning they were the primary decision makers in their households.

“What this tells us is that, on the whole, more money equals more magic in bed,” says Prince & Associates founder Russ Prince.

Or en route to Beijing.

The Rich Libido [WSJ]

Video blog star Amanda Congdon is said to be totally addicted to her blackberry. No wonder she is apparently resorting to extreme things like Tasering herself to generate orgasms. According to Forbes, constant connection to the work world is ruining everyone's sex lives.

According to therapists and psychologists, around-the-clock access to the office often results in fatigue, a lack of intimacy, resentment, increased conflict and even premature career burnout. All of which are enough to crater a less-than-solid marriage or relationship. Robert Reich, the former U.S. secretary of labor, popularized the term “DINS couples” (double income, no sex) when he discussed the hazards of work overload in a 2001 speech. While the comment drew laughs, it also brought to light a developing problem: People are working too much to have sex. In 2003, the Kinsey Institute reported that today’s women are having much less sex than their 1950s counterparts.

Is Your BlackBerry Ruining Your Sex Life? [Forbes]

Of course you already know that Jim Rogers has strong opinions favoring commodities and China. But you might not know he also thinks you should be doing it today. This afternoon. Like, he wants you to leave work now and get it on. And not just in some sort of safe-sex, prophylactic way. He wants you putting some babies up in there.

His three-year-old daughter, about whom he is touchingly goo-ey, is already a fluent Mandarin speaker. He appointed a Chinese nanny under strict instructions to speak only her native language in the nursery.

Having joined the club so late in life, the 64-year-old Mr. Rogers is an enthusiastic advocate of parenthood.

"If you haven't got your own children, take the rest of the day off and go get started," he advised delegates to the conference at which we met.

The Indiana Jones of Investment [Daily Telegraph via New York Sun]

The English have a strange thing for Monica Lewinsky, and vice-versa. Maybe it's just that they've got their own sex scandals to worry about, scandals involving genuine royals, and can't be bothered to worry about whether the president of the United States was messing around with a White House interns. We actually ran into Monica in Oxford once, back when she was touring around with her memoirwriting Brit ghost writer. Seemed nice enough, if not terribly bright.

Well, she just got a degree from the LSE:

Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky, whose sexual relationship with U.S. President Bill Clinton led to his impeachment, has graduated from the London School of Economics, her publicist said on Wednesday.

Lewinsky, who was 21 when she became involved with Clinton, is interviewing for jobs in Britain, publicist Barbara Hutson said.

When Lewinsky, 32, received her Masters of Science degree in Social Psychology last Thursday "the audience of students and parents erupted in spontaneous applause. ... It was a very emotional moment for her," Hutson said in a statement.

Hutson said Lewinsky spent the past year studying and "staying away from the London social scene."

Lewinsky graduates from London School of Economics [Reuters]

An old friend of ours used to say you had to choose in life between sex, money and drugs. Drugs ruin your sex and work life, sex or (to be gentler) love interferes with the pursuit of money, and, as a recent study in the Harvard Business Review purports to show, the pursuit of money interferes with your sex life. Pay attenition: we picked this Harvard Business Review study up from the Harvard Crimson. If it’s got Harvard stamped on it twice, it’s got to be right.

Here’s the bad news:

The study, published in the magazine’s December issue, polled high-earning professionals with “extreme” jobs to examine how their work affected their private lives. The results showed that roughly half of those polled felt that their work interferes with a satisfying sex life, and 46 percent said their job negatively impacted their spousal relationships.

An “extreme job,” by definition, involved working at least 60 hours per week. “Extreme” workers also tended to follow unusual and unpredictable schedules, travel frequently, and hold responsibility for profit and loss.

(Thanks to Eddy Elfenbein for the tip.)

‘Extreme Jobs’ Threaten Sex Lives [Harvard Crimson]

Gary Wandschneider, the married Pepsi executive who went to the feds when a girl he met over Craigslist attempted to extort $125,000 from him, sent the email below to Pepsi employees, according to one of our commenters.

This is without a doubt the most difficult e-mail I've ever written in my 25 years at Pepsi. I learned a long time ago leadership is more than great strategies, financial re-engineering, innovative processes, or new technology. It's really about the personal connections one makes during a career. By any measure, I've been blessed over the past 25 years with a supportive family and company. Although the "movie" of my career is currently focused on one event, an event I deeply regret, and one that has caused great personal grief to my wife and children. It was a mistake that I made at a low point in my life.

[The rest of the email after the jump.]

Pepsi sextortionist Jessica Wolcott is apparently even more of a sociopath than anyone would have guessed, judging from an interview with her ex-husband Kyle Strait in Suburbarazzi.

According to Strait, Wolcott used eight different middle names—Michelle, Monica, Elizabeth, Dakota, Rameda, Rachel, and Tatiana (pat on the back for that Russian mail-order bride reference we made last week). Apparently she also has a whopper of an India name: Ewakailakaipu.

Most impressive of all: “She has upwards of 50 different aliases on the Internet. All of her names and backstories are different groups of friends,” Strait explained. “She’s a high-school dropout, but she’s scary intelligent. She somehow keeps all her stories in order. She’s had years to refine the act.