“Scottrade is a privately owned discount retail brokerage firm headquartered in St. Louis, Missouri.” Discount indeed.
In Dealbreaker’s new “DealBreaker Delusions of Grandeur of the Week” feature, we bring you a performance update from Caxton Associate President Peter P. D’Angelo to his investors, dated August 1. D’Angelo notes that this is a “most unusual step” that he was forced to take due to market volatility and “unfounded rumors in the internet community.” That is US, people! Later, we’ll try and figure out how to upload the voicemail Bruce left during lunch.
Third Point investors, expect your report tomorrow, because 3T is blowing up today.* Danny Loeb, break out the pen and paper now.
*We’re joking, of course. Unless you know something.
More ridiculous international bankers are bagging our highest yielding assets. Swiss financier Arky Busson is now dating Uma Thurman, after splitting with his last femme-bot girlfriend Elle Macpherson. Page Six has the urgent, important news:
[Uma] has been spotted playing kissyface with handsome Swiss banker Arky Busson, who was Elle Macpherson’s man for many years and the father of her two kids. “With their arms wrapped around each other, the couple seemed oblivious to everyone around them,” said one report.
Breaking up with Uma may prove more difficult, as she knows the five-finger exploding heart technique.
Does anyone know where Arky works (word is that he manages EIM, a fund of funds) or if he’s just a product of old money debutardation, as special mentions of his fam in the New York Social Diary would suggest? Arky’s mom is named Flocky, who New York Social Diary reminds us is the granddaughter of the late Arphad Plesch, which sounds like something that needs to be drained when you have a sinus infection. Arky also was at least partially responsible for naming the children he fathered with Elle, Flynn and Aurelius Cy.
Arky played Claude in the 1988 film, “Sweet Lies.”
Next for Uma [Page Six]