• This is really his twitter picture, and is the best.


    77-Year-Old Man Good At Twitter

    Once upon a time before there were activist hedge funds there were corporate raiders, whose business model was buy stock in company, be annoying, sell stock back to company at higher price. This model had many delights of which perhaps the greatest was that you couldn’t really, like, do damage to your reputation. The more […]

    / Aug 13, 2013 at 6:12 PM
  • I mean, the thing is, they are cute.


    Starboard Thinks Smithfield Could Squeeze Some More Money Out Of Its Pigs

    Starboard Value’s letter to Smithfield Foods arguing that Smithfield is selling itself too cheaply to Shuanghui International makes for tough reading if you think pigs are cute. The 16-page letter does a pretty detailed sum-of-the-parts valuation of Smithfield at, like, a pig-by-pig level, and it doesn’t end well for the pigs. Sum-of-the-parts value has a […]

    / Jun 17, 2013 at 1:10 PM
  • Honestly I hope they're paying him royalties; he's creating a lot of business for activist-defense types.


    Report Suggests Carl Icahn Isn’t Spending Nearly Enough Time Bothering Electric Utilities

    “Looking for a juicy [hostile] takeover candidate? A new report suggests you might find one at Fifth Third Bancorp, the utility holding company Ameren or ConAgra Foods,” which shows you how much that new report knows. Oh, you’re gonna launch a hostile takeover on a regional bank? A regulated utility holding company? Let me know […]

    / Apr 10, 2013 at 4:12 PM
  • Not welcome in Canada

    Hedge Funds

    Now Canada Wants Activist Investors To Share With The Rest Of The Class

    If you’re an activist investor your job is to (1) think of an idea for how to make a company’s stock go up, (2) buy stock in the company, (3) convince them to do your idea, and (4) sell high. Step 3 tends to involve lots of attention-seeking – it’s easier to wear a company […]

    / Mar 22, 2013 at 5:20 PM
  • This is an odd project for him no?


    Al Gore Wants You To Conserve Your Shares

    Here is a pleasing story that is probably not a thing, but still a thematically relevant non-thing: Corporations would award long-term shareholders “loyalty rewards” of extra dividends, warrants, and additional voting rights as incentives to overcome short-term earnings focuses of corporations and investors, according to a concept Mercer is developing with two other organizations. Good […]

    / Dec 7, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    Hedge Funds, News

    Starboard Was Buying Office Supplies Last Week

    I don’t follow NASCAR, and it’s possible that this puts me out of touch with the bulk of stock market investors, but I feel like there’s a person or robot who regrets writing this sentence last Wednesday:1 Office Depot Inc. stock surged 16.40% to $2.20 after the company announced that Tony Stewart, driver of the […]

    / Sep 17, 2012 at 2:55 PM
  • Carl Icahn


    Carl Icahn’s CVR Energy Tactics Are Already Paying Off

    When a company does something that corporate-governance activists really don’t like, like adopting a poison pill, typically they announce that “the board decided unanimously to punch you in the face for your own good.” There’s some perception that, if they’re all in it together, the directors can’t be up to anything too unsavory. Forest Labs […]

    / Aug 28, 2012 at 4:30 PM
  • tousled Bill


    Bill Ackman Has A Lot To Say About General Growth Properties

    It’s August, things are slow, and I have a suspicion that Carl Icahn let his lawyers go on vacation and is just writing his two-sentence letters to CVR Energy himself. Bill Ackman, not so much: To the Board of Directors of General Growth Properties: … [eight pages] … I look forward to speaking further with […]

    / Aug 24, 2012 at 1:29 PM
  • He's personally affronted


    SEC Wants Activist Hedge Funds To Share With The Rest Of The Class

    Financial markets are basically about information asymmetries, real and imagined, and financial regulation is largely about limiting those asymmetries to socially acceptable kinds and quantities. A general rule for trading success – perhaps the only useful rule for trading success – is: if you know something that nobody else knows and that will increase the […]

    / Aug 15, 2012 at 6:15 PM
  • Hedge Funds, News

    Yahoo! Résumégate Day 12: Peace In Our Time

    It seems that some combination of Dan Loeb persistence, cancer, and possibly incorrectly filled out job application paperwork have brought down Scott Thompson at Yahoo, and that’s not the only success activist investors have to report recently. From Bloomberg: A generation ago such investors typically grabbed headlines under a different label: corporate raiders, robber barons, […]

    / May 14, 2012 at 5:45 PM
  • john paulson 15feb12

    Hedge Funds

    John Paulson Ditches Banks, Drums Up Some Business For Them

    I think everyone who’s ever worked at an investment bank saw at least a little something of themselves in the Journal’s fat asshole article this morning. My own feelings are mixed since, for me, investment banking was a lifestyle improvement over a previous job that left me partially paralyzed from overwork (true story! I got better). So in a sense I don’t have that much to complain about, but I did, and do, constantly and loudly and now on the internet.

    Part of what sucks about banking – that I think the Journal article missed – is the frequent pointlessness of your activity: you get on a plane, go see a guy, tell him about this awesome merger or financing or whatever you’ve got planned for him, shake hands, and fly away never to see him again. And by “never” I mean “not until six months later, after he’s printed a deal away from you, when you go and do the same thing, but this time maybe you don’t shave.” You’d probably still be a fat, stressed, overworked cabbie-puncher if most of your ideas actually got executed, but you’d perhaps be less suffused with metaphysical dread. That’s how I’d feel anyway. Then, I blog now.

    Anyway, a thing that I don’t know anything about, and never ever want to know anything about, so don’t tell me, is the proper price-to-book trading multiples of life vs. P&C insurance companies and whether there’s a conglomerate discount for being in both businesses. So with that as a disclaimer I found this pretty damn convincing:

    / Feb 15, 2012 at 4:02 PM
  • News

    Of Course This Assumes That The Baboons Understand And Care About What The Market Tells Them

    If you think a company has a good business and shareholder friendly management, you might consider buying its stock. If, on the other hand, you found a company that you were pretty sure was managed by a bunch of baboons, it might make sense to short its stock, and maybe publicize your conclusions via a […]

    / Nov 14, 2011 at 1:47 PM
  • News

    Carl Icahn Just Kidding About Clorox Proxy Fight

    Sadly he used the cover of a miserable market and a Friday afternoon to bury this gem of passive aggressiveness: The Reporting Persons have decided to withdraw their slate of directors after concluding that a considerable base of shareholders would not support their stated campaign at this time. While the Reporting Persons continue to believe […]

    / Sep 23, 2011 at 5:13 PM
  • Hedge Funds, News

    Carol Bartz Not The Only Person Who Objects To Yahoo Board’s Lack Of Phone Etiquette

    Bartz suggested that board chairman Roy Bostock lacked both balls and class for firing her over the phone rather than face to face. Dan Loeb, meanwhile, also has to question Bostock’s class after the chairman hung up on him rather than listen to hard truths like “you are unaware of what it takes to be […]

    / Sep 14, 2011 at 11:54 AM
  • News

    How Would You Like To Vote For Carl Icahn’s Clorox Slate?

    What’s in it for you? Well…if you elect his co-workers, family and friends to run Clorox, he’ll put the company up for auction and get you at least $78 a share. Or, if he can’t, he’ll just give you the $78 himself. But only half of that will be in real money. The rest will […]

    / Aug 30, 2011 at 6:53 PM
  • News

    We Get The Feeling That Carl Icahn’s Heart Isn’t In A Proxy Fight For Clorox

    Remember how Carl Icahn’s going to buy Clorox? Neither do Clorox shareholders, with the stock trading at $64, more or less where it was before he announced his $76.50 offer (later revised to $80). And with no committed financing, a swift rejection (accompanied by a poison pill) from the board, and a little bit of […]

    / Aug 19, 2011 at 5:15 PM
  • News

    Somebody Wants To Get To Know S&P A Little Better

    Standard & Poor’s has had a few hiccups recently, locking themselves into pointlessly downgrading U.S. Treasuries, pissing off Jean-Claude Trichet, and blowing up the CMBS market revival because they realized too late that they’d forgotten to carry a two. But Jana Partners and Ontario Teachers’ think of these things not as problems but as opportunities […]

    / Aug 1, 2011 at 7:24 PM

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