Remember Anna Chapman? She was among the ten Russian spies deported last year and since returning to the motherland has been pretty busy. She posed in Maxim in her underwear holding a deadly weapon. She started hosting a TV show called “Secrets of the World.” She adopted a lion cub. She posed in a magazine called Heat and then got in trouble for posting outtakes of her ass on Facebook. She waved off a rocket launch. She modeled in a fashion show (in which carried a gun and stuck it in a male model’s neck). For her next project, Chapman has teamed up with Vladimir Putin to “lure technology investment to Russia.” Apparently tech has always been a passion of Chapman’s (“I’ve always been fascinated with technology,” she told Bloomberg) and now, she says, “I want to make my own input into developing this industry.” For you thinking Chaps will have a hard time being taken seriously, think again. According to Moscow hedge fund manager Roland Nash, she’s “very well known and respected in Russia, by Russians in general and young Russians in particular, so in that sense she’s quite an imaginative solution.” As for the West, Nash concedes, “she’s got to turn around part of her image.” Continue reading »
Anna Chapman
How Many Financial Services Employees’ Career Paths Take Them From Barclays Analyst To (Nearly) Ass-Naked In Maxim, Holding A Gun?
By Bess LevinSo far, just one that we know of, though that doesn’t mean more aren’t waiting to come out of the woodwork. Continue reading »
Where Did Russian Spy Anna Chapman Drink In NYC? What Was It Like To Party With Her? How Was She Like In Bed?
By Bess Levin
The Upper East Side, “fun” and “very good,” according to Russel T, who’s featured in a segment called “Anna’s Admirer’s Speak Out.” The forty year-old club promoter, restaurant owner, co-owner of a tequila brand and self-described “BFF” of Anna Chapman, with whom Russ went out with “twice a week” when she was in the states but swears he never slept with, also says he had no idea about her work as a spy and that “the only secrets [he] saw her steal were sexual ones.” Continue reading »
On the surface, the only thing they have in common is the hair color, the birth in a foreign land, and the first name, Anna. But, you know, anything is possible and should it turn out that this girl is the new AC, you’re gonna want to be up to speed on what she’s all about. Anna Fermanova, 24, was held up by agents at JKF, who took issue with the fact that she was allegedly trying to smuggle a “$7,000 Raptor 4X night-vision weapons sight and two other $4,000 devices” out of the country, which you’re not allowed to do. She’ll be charged with “attempting to export the devices, which are considered US munitions,” and is not only denying the spy label, but claiming to find this whole thing pants-pissingly funny, making her all the more suspect. Continue reading »
Ex-Barclays Employee/Russian Spy Anna Chapman Finally Gets Her Own Safe And NSFW Action Figure
By Bess Levin
They look nothing like her from the neck up. As for the rest of her, I think we’re going to need her ex-husband or a doctor to make that call. Continue reading »
Russian Spy Will Not Be Able To Visit With Ex-Husband, Work For Barclays Again Anytime Soon
By Bess Levin
Well, this is a set-back. Anna Chapman, the only Russian spy anyone cares about, has had her British citizenship revoked, and the U.K.’s Home Secretary apparently has plans to “exclude” her from the region entirely, as it would be “conducive to the public good.” Continue reading »
Russian Spy Anna Chapman’s Ex-Husband Wants To Tell You About All The Times He And The Old Ball And Chain Did It (And How)
By Bess Levin
To the naked eye, it might seem like we already know so much about Anna Chapman, the only Russian spy arrested last week anyone cares about. Her employment history includes Barclays, Navigator Capital, and NetJets. She is “full of self-control.” She is “extremely professional and resourceful.” “Ambitious.” “Forward-thinking.” She may have made a mark out of Dr. Doom, the Oracle of O and the man, the myth, the legend, the grand high poobah of it all, Cookie Monster himself.
But, of course, there’s one thing we’ve yet to get any intel on, which is, how does this broad fuck? I mean, really. She may have bedded three of Wall Street’s most notorious bachelors and we’ve heard nothing? Nary a peep? It’s not right. Luckily, over the weekend, an ex-husband surfaced, more than willing to offer some color on the matter.
Take it away, Alex Chapman. “Anya was great in bed and she knew exactly what to do. She was awesome. For the first few months we met for sex about five days a week. We loved it.”
Alright, interesting. And then what happened? “She also liked posing for pictures.”
Really, pictures? That sounds like fun. I bet you don’t carry them around in your wallet or anything, though. Continue reading »
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