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Joey Ramone wasn’t just a punk when it came to his finances. Fox Business Network’s Maria Bartiromo revealed Wednesday that the late rocker was also a savvy stock picker. “[Joey] used to e-mail me all the time saying, ‘Maria, what do you think about AOL? What do you think about Amazon?’ ” Bartiromo told Shepard Smith. But, “I didn’t realize it was the real Joey Ramone . . . I was answering him back . . . giving him my take on things, and he called me one day and said, ‘I want you to come down to CBGB’s, I wrote a song about you.’ I said, ‘What, Joey? I have to get up tomorrow morning at 4 a.m.! I can’t be at CBGB’s at midnight.” Ramone’s 2002 ode included the lyrics, “What’s happening on ‘Squawk Box?’ What’s happening with my stocks?” Bartiromo said, “I’m so mad I didn’t go that night because when he sent me the video . . . singing that song . . . most people don’t know what a savvy investor Joey was. He knew what he was doing.” [NYP]

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Want to get in shape? Want to save money? Want to hole up and pound out a business plan for the [hedge fund/private equity firm/boutique investment bank/whathaveyou] you want to get off the ground? Want to impress industry execs and potential investors with your problem solving skills and can-do attitude? What if we told you there was a foolproof way to accomplish all those goals and more, that it wouldn’t cost you a thing, that you might even have some fun doing it, and that there’d be free cereal and Coke involved? Would that sound like something you’d be interested in? Then, congratulations, you’re already halfway there. Step 1 was getting on board, Step 2 is finding an investment bank or asset management firm that’s lax on night security and moving in. Read more »

As the Chairman of Citigroup, a position he’s held since February 2009, Dick Parsons sticks out a bit by comparison. Whereas Citi has at times been the world’s largest bloated, lumbering, diversified cathouse where, for a good while, nothing could go right, a highly flammable entity prone to one chaotic moment of shit hitting the fan after the next, that few wanted to get within 100 feet of Parsons is calm. Cool. “Flat-out smooth,” as BusinessWeek describes him (which is why he was hired to be the one to go make nice with Washington, according to Vikram Pandit). The magazine recently accompanied Dick to a jazz club where they got to know him a little better, on a personal level. Here’s what we’ve learned about DP:

* He thinks the city smoking ban sucks: “Michael E. Novogratz, a director of Fortress Investment Group, a New York hedge fund, gives Parsons a hug and presents him with a Montecristo cigar. Parsons looks pleased. “Oh man,” he says, “I wish we could light these up in here.”

* If you’ve lost ass-ton of money, he’s the guy you turn to for a pick-me-up: Novogratz and Parsons exchange condolences about the market, which is zig-zagging with the turmoil in the Middle East. “I lost more money this week than I did in any week in 2008,” Novogratz laments. Parsons tells him not to be so hard on himself. “Nobody knows what’s going on,” he says.

* Charm like this doesn’t need an undergraduate degree: He went to the University of Hawaii, where he partied more than he studied. After four years, he still needed six credits to get his diploma, but he discovered that if he aced his pre-law exams he could get into law school in New York state without a college degree. He did well on the test and was accepted to Albany Law School, where he graduated at the top of his class. Read more »