• The Kellys


    Sage Kelly’s Wife Is Sorry About…Y’Know…

    Christina Kelly, the soon-to-be ex-wife of (on leave) Jefferies banker Sage Kelly, who she recently accused of mistaking their bed, wall, and floor for a toilet; holding an official “Mushrooms Day“; and pressuring her to engage in a foursome with a Jefferies client and the guy’s girlfriend, would like to apologize and also go on […]

    / Nov 11, 2014 at 8:00 AM
  • News

    Facebook Exec Sorry About That Time He Acted Like An Unhinged Lunatic

    WhatsApp Inc. Chief Executive Officer Jan Koum, whose mobile-messaging company was acquired by Facebook Inc. for $22 billion this year, is apologizing for behavior that led to a restraining order against him in 1996. The order was granted in February 1996 in state court in San Jose, California, after a civil harassment claim from an […]

    / Oct 23, 2014 at 12:30 PM
  • marissamayer


    Marissa Mayer Is Sorry About The Ill-Timed Zzzz’s

    She might’ve dozed off and missed a meeting with top execs, but it wasn’t, like, a hate-nap or anything.

    / Jun 25, 2014 at 8:45 AM
  • Banks

    Paul Flowers Now Really Sorry About Those Times He Bought Coke, Crystal Meth

    Questions from a parliamentary committee will not be the toughest faced by the former minister who moonlighted as chairman of a failing bank.

    / Apr 16, 2014 at 1:54 PM
  • frankperkinshixonjr


    Ex-Evercore Director Who Insider Traded In Accounts Set Up Under Baby Mama’s, Dad’s Names Make Get Opportunity To Think About What He’s Done

    Remember Frank Perkins Hixon Jr.? Made something of a name for himself when he became the first Evercore employee in history to be accused of insider trading, which he apparently did in part to raise funds to support the child he had with Destiny Wind Robinson? He may be going away for a while. Also, […]

    / Apr 3, 2014 at 9:30 AM
  • bradydougancreditsuisse


    Credit Suisse Employees Et Al Demand Apology For Brady Dougan’s Apology

    Apparently yesterday’s statement before a Senate subcommittee–wherein Dougan said that neither he nor Credit Suisse executives knew tax evasion was going on, but would nevertheless take responsibility for the few bad apples that had to ruin things for the rest of the group– was not satisfactory, particularly the part where Dougan claimed to just to […]

    / Feb 27, 2014 at 3:42 PM
  • Brady-Dougan1-260x377


    Credit Suisse Officials Sorry For The Tax Evasion That They Found Out About The Same Way You Did

    “Some Swiss-based private bankers went to great lengths to disguise their bad conduct from Credit Suisse executive management,” Dougan said at a Senate subcommittee hearing in Washington today. “While that employee misconduct violated our policies, and was unknown to our executive management, we accept responsibility for and deeply regret these employees’ actions.” [Bloomberg]

    / Feb 26, 2014 at 2:58 PM
  • andrew-ross-sorkin-nyts-dealbook-o


    Andrew Ross Sorkin Expects More From You

    Time was, Andrew Ross Sorkin looked up to the CEOs of Wall Street and the titans of the business world. Respected the names they’d made for themselves. Admired the things they’d built with their own two hands. In them, he saw father figures, in him, they saw a son. In each other, they found someone […]

    / Feb 4, 2014 at 4:28 PM
  • shia labeouf helmet


    Shia LaBeouf Is Sorry He Got Caught Up In The Creative Process

    While best known around these parts as a thespian and day trading prodigy who claimed, many times, to have turned $20,000 into $489,000 in three months via his flip-phone, Shia LaBeouf actually wears many other hats. The hat of a guy who gets into bar brawls and threatens to have people killed. That hat of […]

    / Dec 17, 2013 at 4:36 PM
  • News

    CNBC Sorry It Didn’t Have Parental Controls Running On Its Pandora Hip Hop Station Yesterday

    On CNBC Monday afternoon, as anchor Kelly Evans went to commercial, the song they used as an outro contained uncensored usage of the n-word. The song in question was B2K’s Fizzo Got Flow, and needless to say, it’s a pretty colorful song. It was a few segments later, towards the end of the hour, when […]

    / Dec 17, 2013 at 12:11 PM
  • benmosche


    Robert Benmosche Is Sorry He ‘Trivialized’ The Deep South Lynchings, Which, If You Think About It, Is Exactly What People Did Re: The AIG Lynchings

    Septebmer 24, 2013: “The uproar over bonuses was intended to stir public anger, to get everybody out there with their pitch forks and their hangman nooses, and all that–sort of like what we did in the Deep South [decades ago]. And I think it was just as bad and just as wrong.” October 11, 2013 […]

    / Oct 11, 2013 at 3:00 PM
  • daviddrumm


    Ex-Anglo Irish Banker Is Sorry You Had To Hear That

    An Irish banker taped saying he would demand cash from authorities to keep operating and making light of a 2008 bailout, prompting criticism around Europe, apologized for his comments in an interview published on Sunday. Public outrage has grown after the Irish Independent published taped telephone conversations between executives of the now-defunct Anglo Irish Bank, […]

    / Jul 1, 2013 at 5:08 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Is (Still) Sorry

    JP Morgan & Co.’s chairman and chief executive officer, James Dimon, renewed his apologies to shareholders for last year’s multibillion-dollar trading fiasco, and an investor that has pushed for corporate-governance changes at large financial firms said it would focus this proxy season on changing the bank’s board…The 57-year-old Mr. Dimon called the “London Whale” trading […]

    / Apr 10, 2013 at 6:17 PM
  • News

    Barclays Is ‘Truly Sorry’ It Got Caught Manipulating Libor Though Not Sorry Enough To Make Amends In Person

    An ad in the paper will have to suffice.

    Barclays has made a public apology to customers and clients, saying they have “been let down” by the bank. “We are truly sorry for what has happened,” Barclays said in a advertisement published in several British newspaper today, including the Financial Times, the London-based Times and the Guardian. “You are the lifeblood of our business, and we will not allow ourselves to be distracted from what really matters — delivering for you, day in and day out,” the statement, signed by Chairman Marcus Agius, says. “I also thank you for your business. It is our responsibility to earn the right to retain it.”

    Barclays Says ‘Truly Sorry’ For Letting Down Customers, Clients [Bloomberg]
    Barclays Makes Public Apology [HIC]

    / Jul 16, 2012 at 2:55 PM
  • News

    Nasdaq Officials Are Sorry About The Whole…Y’Know

    They’ve reviewed the tapes and it appears an apology is in order.

    / Jun 6, 2012 at 5:24 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    Yahoo! RésuméGate, Day 7: Third Point Is Not Enjoying This At All

    In fact, Dan Loeb and Co. find this “embarrassing episode” painful to watch.

    Dear Board of Directors:

    Six days have passed since Yahoo! acknowledged the fabrications in Chief Executive Officer Scott Thompson and Director Patti Hart’s resumes. Since then, the following has occurred: (i) shareholders have been told that Mr. Thompson’s errors were “inadvertent”, (ii) Mr. Thompson made a classic “I’m sorry you feel that way” non-apology without actually accepting responsibility, (iii) Ms. Hart announced she will not seek re-election to the Board presumably due to her leadership of the botched CEO hiring process but intends to serve out her term, and (iv) the Board has formed a special committee to conduct a “thorough review” into Mr. Thompson’s academic credentials.

    It appears very clear to us – and to many corporate governance experts, Yahoo! employees, and fellow Yahoo! shareholders – that Mr. Thompson’s fantasy degree was in no way an “inadvertent error”. The evidence shows he had been using false credentials for years. Mr. Thompson’s “apology” was clearly insufficient and it seems that the only thing he actually regrets is that he has been caught in a lie and publicly exposed. Without any explanation or accountability, Yahoo! has been left to flounder under a discredited leader for an undefined period. So, after six days, we must ask – what is this Board waiting for?

    It seems farcical to us that the Board will most likely spend more time deliberating over whether Mr. Thompson should be fired than it did properly vetting whether he should have been hired. The necessary investigation into whether certain senior executives and Board Members knew of Mr. Thompson’s deceptions before hiring him should not delay decisive action over his ethical breaches.

    Third Point has over $1 billion invested in Yahoo! and we take no joy in witnessing this carnage. This Board’s unchecked value destruction must stop once and for all. Therefore, we once again call upon the Board to immediately (i) place Third Point’s entire slate on the Board replacing Mr. Thompson and Ms. Hart, (ii) appoint an interim CEO—we would suggest CFO Tim Morse or Head of Global Media Ross Levinsohn (assuming neither had any knowledge of Mr. Thompson’s fabrications) and (iii) allow Third Point nominee Michael Wolf to Chair the Search Committee for a new permanent CEO (Mr. Wolf will waive the $15,000 fee that Ms. Hart received for her work as Head of the Search Committee last year, which we expect she will promptly disgorge).

    This is the only way for Yahoo! to move past this embarrassing episode.

    Daniel S. Loeb
    Chief Executive Officer
    Third Point LLC

    / May 9, 2012 at 11:57 AM
  • News

    Mario Batali Is Sorry

    Earlier today, Forbes writer Jeff Bercovici reported that last night at the Time magazine Person of the Year debate, restaurateur Mario Batali likened the banking industry to “Stalin or Hitler,” Joe and Adolf, respectively. The collective members of the banking industry did not take this well. They banned expensed lunches at all of Batali’s eateries, […]

    / Nov 9, 2011 at 6:58 PM
  • Banks

    Kweku Adoboli Feels Pretty Bad About The Whole…Y’Know

    UBS trader Kweku Adoboli, accused over the Swiss banking giant’s $2.3 billion losses from unauthorized trades, was “sorry beyond words,” his attorney said Thursday. [NYP]

    / Sep 22, 2011 at 11:16 AM
  • News

    European Regulators Contemplate Temporary Ban On Financial Fiction

    With half of Europe having banned short-selling and anything that might loosely resemble it, if you think that French banks are undercapitalized then you may be seeking less traditional ways to monetize that view. One approach that you might have considered is writing a fictional account of a near-future Eurozone meltdown with real names of […]

    / Aug 15, 2011 at 2:01 PM
  • News

    Vincent McCrudden Is Sorry For Threatening To Kill 47 US Regulators

    “I had no intent to injury or bodily harm anybody,” Vincent McCrudden told a judge today after pleading guilty to emailing a bunch of regulators describing them as “fucking corrupt piece[s] of shit!” letting them know that they were “not getting away with this,” encouraging them to “laugh mother fucker laugh,” and making it clear […]

    / Jul 18, 2011 at 5:19 PM
  • News

    Munich Re Subsidiary Is Sorry About The Color-Coded Sex Parties

    Last month it was reported that in 2007, executives with Munich Re subsidiary Ergo Versicherungsgruppe came up with the idea to throw a party for top performing sales executives at a bathhouse, featuring a bunch of prostitutes for their consumption. Because such events have the potential to devolve into mass chaos, with buyers and sellers […]

    / Jun 29, 2011 at 5:19 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Is Sorry About Those Accidental Foreclosures

    Seriously, won’t happen again.

    / May 17, 2011 at 3:39 PM
  • News

    Ex-Park Avenue Bank CEO Committed TARP Fraud Out Of Love For Company, Himself

    “During my tenure I abused the position of trust I enjoyed,” said Charles Antonucci, who admitted to accepting ‘what amounted to bribes from clients and faking a $6.5 million investment into the bank,’ and used the money to fund, among other things, trips to the Superbowl. “Sometimes I did it to enrich myself, other times […]

    / Oct 8, 2010 at 6:15 PM
  • News

    Animal Welfare Society Not Buying RBS Employee’s Story About Why She Threw A Cat In The Trash

    “I cannot explain why I did this, it is completely out of character and I certainly did not intend to cause any distress to Lola or her owners,” Mary Bale, the woman who threw a Tabby cat in the trash last week, said. “It was a split second of misjudgment that has got completely out […]

    / Aug 26, 2010 at 2:52 PM
  • News

    Senator Claire McCaskill Apologizes For Yesterday

    What is she sorry for? Is it for ‘causing horrible flashbacks for those on the panel and watching at home to being sent to the principal’s office? Her bizarre and at times troubling line of questioning? Use of the term “smart alecks”? Comparing “the legal activity of market making to the illegal activity of sports […]

    / Apr 28, 2010 at 4:14 PM
  • News

    Chuck Prince And Bob Rubin: Our Bad

    Rubin’s got “regrets” and Prince is “deeply sorry” that management wasn’t more “prescient.” Also, you should know, that since taking up early retirement, Chuck has “given a great deal of thought to the unique events that led to the financial crisis and which bring us here today.”

    / Apr 8, 2010 at 10:10 AM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino Is Hearing Things About Tiger Woods

    Chaz “I’m gonna skull fuck my former friends at CNBC” Gasparino isn’t set to take to the Fox Business airwaves until next week but even as he preps his veins to pop just right for the leering delight of his new staff, CG is working the phones, uncovering the stories, investigating the fluidity of situations. […]

    / Feb 17, 2010 at 4:29 PM

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