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    75% Of Point72’s Portfolio Managers Were Drafted Right Out Of High School, Worked Their Way Up Through Hedge Fund’s Minor League System

    Last week, after spending a mere 4 months with the firm, an executive named Scott Braunstein decided his time at Point72 Asset Management (AKA SAC Capital 2.0) had run its course. Somehow, that news and a request for comment by Bloomberg resulted in this statement:

    / Jan 28, 2015 at 11:40 AM
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    News

    BusinessWeek Finds A Weird Way To Kick Steve Cohen When He’s Down

    As many of you know, a lifelong dream of Steve Cohen’s has been to own a Major League Baseball team. Last year he tried and failed to buy the Los Angeles Dodgers. The year before that he tried and failed to buy the New York Mets. While did eventually acquire a small stake in the […]

    / Nov 7, 2013 at 3:31 PM
  • shakeshack

    News

    Jim Chanos’ Sons Owe Their Lives To Shake Shack

    Jim Chanos, who oversees $6 billion as the founder of Kynikos Associates Ltd., said Danny Meyer’s hamburgers might have saved his two sons from getting struck by a bat that slipped out of Miguel Cabrera’s hands during last night’s Major League Baseball All-Star Game. The errant bat flew into the stands down the third base […]

    / Jul 17, 2013 at 6:00 PM
  • News

    Plan D: A Hostile Takeover Of The Newark Bears

    “Major League Baseball has approved three potential buyers to review the financial records of the San Diego Padres, team owner John Moores told MLB.com. Moores said one group is headed by movie executive Thomas Tull, another is led by former Dodgers owner Peter O’Malley and the third by billionaire hedge-fund manager Steven Cohen of SAC […]

    / May 29, 2012 at 2:30 PM
  • News

    What Hank And Hal Steinbrenner Need To Ask Themselves Right About Is, Do We Want $3 Billion Deposited In Our Bank Account In A Friendly Manner Or Do We Want It Violently Shoved Down Our Throats?

    Are the Yankees for sale? “Baseball and financial sources” say yes. People with the last name Steinbrenner say no. Perhaps the latter, though, just needs to meet the right buyer? A buyer who’s got money to spend? A buyer who wants a Major League Baseball team so badly he can taste it? Who has so far bid on not one, not two, but three organizations in the last year? A buyer who  can do this the easy way or the hard way? He’s going to get his hands on a team one way or another and the sooner people realize that the better. So everyone is preparped, when the Big Guy is running the show, the first order of business will be:

    a) Shitcan A-Rod
    b) Reassign A-Rod to clean SAC’s offices
    c) Rehire Ping Jiang to discipline underperforming players
    d) Gather all Yankee employees and unleash four hour-long string of obscenities about garbage performance
    e) all of the above

    / May 24, 2012 at 3:28 PM
  • News

    Former Major League Baseball Union Rep Is Sickened By Wall Street Pay

    Last month, Rochedale analyst Dick Bové sent out a note to clients that began with what he dubbed “some interesting stats.” Said stats were salaries of the New York Yankees’ top infielders (“not including promotional deals”!) versus those of JPMorgan’s Jamie Dimon, Wells Fargo’s John Stumpf, Citigroup’s Vikram Pandit, and Bank of America’s Brian Moynihan. The baseball players’ compensation totaled about $80 million, the CEOs’ $65 million. Fair? Bové didn’t think so, noting that while the talentless hacks in the Bronx have won but single World Series in the last 10 years, the banks run by the aforementioned CEOs “impact virtually every American household” (and if pressed to, could surely bring home at least a few Major League Baseball championships).

    “Clearly, society values the New York Yankees infield above that of the leaders of the banking industry even without a World Series ring,”  Bové concluded sarcastically, shouting “nailed it” at Mr. Giraffe. Obviously, Bové is of the mind that it’s a crock how little these chief executives are paid considering all they do compared to noncontributing zeroes like Alex Rodriguez and Co. It’s unclear if the former head of MLB’s players’ union caught Bové’s riff or if not but last night he offered something of a rebuttal and, spoiler alert, he thinks Wall Street pay is bull shit.

    Appearing at the New York University School of Law on Tuesday night to discuss the 40th anniversary of the first baseball strike and the rise of the players’ association, Marvin Miller, the 95-year-old former union head, spoke for 68 minutes and delivered a blistering criticism of corporate pay. He also said collusion by owners in the mid-1980s was worse than the Black Sox scandal in 1919 and claimed the first baseball commissioner, Kenesaw Mountain Landis, may have been a member of the Klu Klux Klan. “Let’s take chief executive officers of important corporations, or the stock exchange or Wall Street firms,” he said. “The typical way that compensation is set is for the board of directors, most of whom if not all of whom have been appointed directly by the CEO, decide what the CEO’s salary should be, or they have a committee, a compensation committee composed of board members.

    “The first thing about that is that here you have a direct conflict of interest, because sitting on a board are executives of other corporations, and what they are doing is adding ammunition to their own quest for higher salaries. And it’s such an obvious conflict of interest that it’s awful. Of course they’re going to vote for higher salaries.” He said the directors are at fault because “they don’t pay for it. It’s paid for by stockholders, who have had no voice on what the salaries and compensation and perks of the chief executive should be.” He then compared the system to baseball, where the average salary on opening day this year was $3.4 million and the Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez topped players at $30 million. “There always has been and is a rule that no contract of a player is valid unless it is signed by the franchise owner or somebody designated by the franchise owner in his place,” Miller said. “In other words, no salary is put on paper and becomes valid until the man who is going to pay for it, the owner of the franchise, has signed the contract. A better check and balance you can’t find anywhere.”

    According to Miller, “the more democratic thing is to require the approval of a majority of the stockholders.”

    Whose Pay Is More Deserved: CEOs or Ball Players? [Real Time Economics]
    Marvin Miller Blasts Corporate Pay [AP]
    Earlier: Dick “Fire A-Rod” Bové: Underpaid Bank CEOs Should Seek Yankees Tryout

    / Apr 25, 2012 at 3:55 PM
  • News

    Bookie Confessional, Early Baseball Edition

    Mike is my best baseball client. He bets three or four grand a night, spread out over the whole card. He can’t possibly win over time. Sadly, such golden geese occasionally shit on the lawn. That’s what Mike did Friday, when he called and asked me to give him another bookie’s number.

    Nobody in particular—just anybody’s. He wanted a second place to bet. Basically he was sitting at his regular table and asking the Maitre d’ where ELSE he should go to dinner. I told him to call me back Saturday.

    Well, I fumed awhile, then it came to me. Mike had rarely talked to Faithful Assistant. I summoned Faithful Assistant and told him his dreams were about to come true: he was opening his own shop, with exactly one disposable cell phone, and exactly one very good customer.

    Turns out that wasn’t Faithful Assistant’s dream. His dream involves some newly single woman with expensive tastes: the weasel told me that if he was going to play this charade it was going to cost me a full 15% of Mike’s losses on both phone numbers. I was outraged and we started negotiating and by the time we were done 15% had become 20%.

    After making a mental note never to negotiate with Faithful Assistant again, I picked up the phone to hire the new book’s collection agent. Melody, a good customer’s wife, asked me for a job a couple months back. I offered and she accepted this part-time gig as an audition. Mike had his new place to play, Faithful Assistant was angling for a raise to 30%, and I set up a Monday meeting with Melody to tell her how all this would go down.

    Melody was a quick study. Faithful Assistant was her boss-and-contact and she was supposed to pass by Mike’s office every Tuesday afternoon to pay or collect. She wanted to know what to do if Mike didn’t have the money. She was disappointed to learn she should do nothing, just call us.

    I don’t think she wanted to break his legs, but I think she wanted to give him a serious telling off, preferably in front of people. Too bad—that’s not the way it works. It’s a non-issue anyway: Mike pays.

    Turns out the 20% I’m paying Faithful Assistant is money well spent: he quickly put together that Mike is betting the same teams with both our places. That might be the stupidest piece of betting I’ve ever laid my eyes on. He calls one number, bets the Yanks, then calls the second number and bets the Yanks again. His second price is almost always worse—how much worse, well, it depends on how greedy we feel.

    There is no logic to this—he ought to put his whole bet in at the first place he calls, or better yet call both joints for prices and put the bet in at the shop with the better price. (Faithful Assistant is routinely varying prices on the Mike Phone by a penny or two anyway.) The only way Mike’s current plan would make sense is if Mike was putting in maximum sized bets and needed to get down two max bets whatever the cost – but that’s not happening: Mike’s just putting down a few hundred at each place.

    Aspiring MBA-er Faithful Assistant says that Mike is trying to spread out his “credit risk,” so that if one shop goes bust owing him money, he still has the other. Our shenanigans aside, that helps Mike little: If you think your bookie can’t pay, don’t spread out your risk—just stop calling him and find someone else you’re actually comfortable with. It’s a bookie joint, not a bank.

    So we were a little surprised about this but the final shock was Melody’s. Melody showed up on Tuesday at Mike’s office to pick up $600. She won’t have to bother going downtown anymore: She knows “Mike” well: their kids are best friends since they’ve been neighbors for nine years.

    / Apr 13, 2012 at 1:06 PM
  • News

    New York Mets Might Want To Savor Their Time Under The Tutelage Of Steve Cohen

    …because they’re about their last!

    SAC Capital Advisors founder Steven Cohen is the front-runner to purchase the Los Angeles Dodgers. Reports earlier this week indicated that Cohen’s bid for the baseball team was a couple hundred million dollars less than that made by former baseball executive Stan Kasten and Los Angeles Lakers legend Magic Johnson. But Cohen’s bid now matches the Kasten-Johnson offer of $1.6 billion—and at least half of Cohen’s purchase price would come in the form of cash. Indeed, Cohen, who last month bought a small stake in the New York Mets, which he would have to give up if approved to buy the California team, may already be planning for the Dodgers’ future. He has reportedly spoken with former Major League manager Tony La Russa about taking the team over under a Cohen regime.

    [FinAlternatives]

    / Mar 15, 2012 at 6:09 PM
  • News

    One Iota Of Horseplay In The Locker Room And He Would’ve Pulled The Plug On The Whole Thing

    Billionaire hedge fund manager Steven Cohen, considered by many to be a frontrunner in the bidding for the Dodgers, was given a tour of Camelback Ranch-Glendale by vice chairman Jeff Ingram and chief revenue officer Michael Young before Saturday night’s split-squad game with the White Sox…Cohen’s group also includes leading sports agent Arn Tellem and […]

    / Mar 12, 2012 at 12:23 PM
  • News

    Steve Cohen Hedges Dodgers Deal With Mets Stake, Order Of Fleece-Lined Jock Straps For The Whole Team

    The Mets have received commitments from billionaire hedge-fund investor Steve Cohen and six other investors to purchase $20 million minority shares in their embattled club, sources familiar with the deal told the Daily News on Wednesday. The team expects to secure commitments for three remaining shares in the near future, and hopes to complete the […]

    / Feb 23, 2012 at 10:49 AM
  • News

    Confidential To Bud Selig: Watch Your Mouth Or He’ll Buy The Whole Fucking National League

    Steven Cohen may yet own the Los Angeles Dodgers. But he still hasn’t given up hope of buying a chunk of his favorite baseball team. The SAC Capital Advisors founder is expected to buy one of the 4% stakes in the New York Mets currently on offer. The Mets plan to sell 10 such stakes—although […]

    / Feb 2, 2012 at 11:57 AM
  • Hedge Funds

    Steve: Remember That Not Getting An MLB Team Can Sometimes Be A Wonderful Stroke Of Luck

    Over the weekend, the LA Times reported that a group headed by Steve Cohen was among those that advanced to the second round of bidding for the Los Angeles Dodgers. Mark Cuban, “veteran baseball executive” Dennis Gilbert, and former Dodgers players Steve Garvey and Orel Hershiser are out; at the top of Cohen’s elimination list […]

    / Jan 30, 2012 at 4:30 PM
  • News

    Lenny Dykstra Has No Idea What Anyone Is Talking About

    Dykstra, in an exclusive statement to the Daily News, says that at no point had he agreed to participate in [previously announced fight versus Jose Canseco], and that Dan Herman, 26, of Chester County, whom he calls “A starf—er,” booked the fight without his consent and made up quotes in the press, including the Daily […]

    / Nov 7, 2011 at 10:58 AM
  • Communiqués

    Bill Gross Would Have Beaten His Benchmark Had He Not Eaten Those 500 Basis Points

    Several weeks back, bond manager Bill Gross wrote a very personal letter to investors about feeling fat. In it, he spoke of hating his “spare tire,” feeling self-conscious about wearing a bathing suit, and preferring to be shot dead than getting a glimpse of what his ass has become. Today, Bill sent out another letter, […]

    / Oct 14, 2011 at 12:48 PM
  • News

    Like Bankruptcy?

    In a statement, the Mets said, “After months of negotiations, the parties were unable to reach agreement, and the Mets ownership has decided to explore other options.” [NYT, earlier]

    / Sep 1, 2011 at 11:07 AM
  • News

    David Einhorn THISCLOSE To Eating A Comped Ice Cream Sundae Out Of A Tiny Plastic Mets Batting Helmet

    The Mets’ deal to sell a minority stake in the team for $200 million to David Einhorn, a hedge fund manager, is finished except for completing the deal’s paperwork, said one person briefed on the sale. [NYT, earlier]

    / Jul 28, 2011 at 2:02 PM

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