Bear Stearns

  • News

    Waiting For Jamie Dimon To Do The Right Thing

    When I think of JPMorgan CEO James Dimon, a few things come to mind. His (devastatingly good) looks. His charm. His jokes. His (alleged) illegal tire dumping. I also think of a guy who takes pride in his roots, which the Dimon family can trace back to a little European country going through a rough […]

    / May 13, 2010 at 3:02 PM
  • News

    Live-Blogging Cruel And Unusual Punishment: Cayne Dragged Before Meaningless Hearing On Second Favorite Day Of The Year

    12:10 Sure, it would’ve been worse to do it on 4/20 but Cinco de Mayo? Still pretty mean. 12:12 This thing is set to get underway in a few minutes. While we wait, I have a ton of items on the “wish-list” but beyond the obvious, I really, really want him to act like a […]

    / May 5, 2010 at 12:10 PM
  • News

    Paul Friedman Takes Back His Blame of Mismanagement at the Top of Bear Stearns

    Paul Friedman, a former senior managing director at Bear Stearns, once famously said “we did this to ourselves. . . . It’s our fault for allowing it to get this far, and for not taking any steps to do anything about it.” He told William D. Cohan there was “mismanagement at the top” of the […]

    / May 5, 2010 at 11:01 AM
  • News

    Jimmy Cayne: “My office door was always open to any employee who had concerns about violations of our risk or compliance policies, or any other inappropriate conduct.”

    Except when I was hot-boxing it. You know how that goes, Mr. Chairman. You really need the area completely sealed off. I find using a towel helps. Anywhoooo….so, other than those times– always open! For example, one time a guy came in and wanted to know why my office smelled like pot, which I explained […]

    / May 5, 2010 at 10:15 AM
  • News

    Letter Reveals More Names in Galleon Case

    Roomy Khan, one of the key cooperating witnesses in the Galleon insider trading case, used her extensive rolodex of insiders to gain access to secret market-moving information. Recently released court documents show that list of contacts could be longer than we thought.

    / May 3, 2010 at 5:56 PM
  • News

    Caption Contest Monday

    [Photo taken by Roy Welland, a former Bear client and “a long-time Cayne nemesis.” Welland was the one who called the cops on Cayne for hot-boxing a DoubleTree men’s room at a bridge tournament in Memphis.] Jimmy Cayne Spotting: The Ex-Bear CEO At a Reno Poker Table [WSJ]

    / May 3, 2010 at 5:04 PM
  • News

    Why Was Goldman’s Structured Products Desk Trading Equities?

    That question came up in the hearing earlier this week in reference to an email sent by Josh Birnbaum, a former MD in Goldman’s structured products group. The email, sent in July 2007, sought authorization form senior management for the structured products desk to buy put options on a slew of competitors including Merrill Lynch, […]

    / Apr 30, 2010 at 12:51 PM
  • News

    Ace Greenberg Has Kept In Touch With Most But Not All Former Bear Execs

    Hint: the one he hasn’t been trading emails with is the guy who tried to sell you some schwag in the alley behind 383 yesterday during lunch. Also,

    / Mar 16, 2010 at 12:28 PM
  • News

    Being A Bank CEO Worked Out Pretty Well For Jim And Dick

    It turns out that the next best thing to running a successful bank may well be running a catastrophically unsuccessful one. At the very least, Dicky Fuld and Jimmy Cayne did very, very well for themselves according to a new report from a bunch of Harvard Law School eggheads. So did their buddies: Executives at […]

    / Nov 23, 2009 at 12:03 PM
  • News

    Acquitted Bear Pair Still Have SEC To Deal With

    It seems we will have Ralph Cioffi and Matthew Tannin to kick around for a while longer. The two men may have escaped the long arm of the law, winning an acquittal on fraud and insider-trading charges earlier this week, but the SEC isn’t discouraged. The regulator will proceed with its own case against the […]

    / Nov 13, 2009 at 11:25 AM
  • News

    Acquitted Bear Stearns Guys Maybe Starting A New Hedge Fund!

    They haven’t said anything yet but I think it’s pretty obvious it’s coming. Yesterday, when the dream team in charge of the two ridiculously named Bear Stearns funds–High Grade Structured Credit Strategies Fund and High Grade Structured Credit Strategies Enhanced Leverage Fund– emerged from a Brooklyn courthouse, Matthew Tannin had the shit-eating grin pictured at […]

    / Nov 11, 2009 at 11:37 AM
  • News

    New Castle: We Got Rid Of The Galleon Groupies, Nothing Is F*cked, But We Understand If You Want To Run For The Exits

    Update: UBP takes New Castle up on offer to pull money. The New Castle Funds, once part of Bear Stearns Asset Management, have informed investors that despite the news of president Mark Kurland and “consultant” Danielle Chiesi being arrested for their roles in the Galleon insider trading case, everything is cool. Kurland and Chiesi have […]

    / Oct 20, 2009 at 9:15 AM
  • News

    Jimmy Cayne’s Desk Drawer Of Fun

    As everyone on the planet knows, Jimmy Cayne loves to get high. For some reason, however, he routinely downplays or outright denies any drug use, even though weed has done so much for him. First off, due to its mind clearing properties, Cayne has come up with some of his best ideas while stoned, which […]

    / Oct 19, 2009 at 2:00 PM
  • News

    Dennis Kneale Doesn’t Get Why You Can’t Lie To Investors

    “Didn’t [Ralph Cioffi and Matthew Tannin] have a responsibility to stop a panic by saying, ‘Look, we think things are going to be okay here’? Can’t you be scared in an internal email but still feel things are going to be okay and say that to investors?”

    / Oct 12, 2009 at 2:18 PM
  • News

    Help Find Ace Greenberg’s Grand-Dog!

    If one of you had told me last year that the first harrowing tale I wrote about former Bear Stearns chairman Ace Greenberg and a dog wouldn’t be the last (Ace had seriously contemplated leaving BSC on account of depression stemming from his four-legged best friend not placing well in dog shows), I would’ve said, […]

    / Jun 10, 2009 at 5:03 PM
  • News

    Alan Schwartz Is Back

    Former Bear Stearns CEO Alan Schwartz has resurfaced after what has surely been a fun-filled year or so. After watching 383 Madison fall to the House of Dimon across the street, attending congressional roastings, and taking on a leading role in the books House of Cards and Street Fighters, surely the king of the former […]

    / Jun 2, 2009 at 11:30 AM
  • News

    Memories Of Bear

    We understand that the word “billion” has lost a good deal of meaning around here lately. Be that as it may, some statistics that contain the word are still useful (at least for entertainment value). To wit: The Federal Reserve took on more than $74 billion in subprime mortgages, depreciating commercial leases and other assets […]

    / Apr 24, 2009 at 12:02 PM
  • News

    Checking It Twice

    Bear Stearns IndyMac Lehman Brothers Washington Mutual Wachovia National City National City Drops 52% as Market Wonders Who’s Next [CNBC]

    / Sep 29, 2008 at 11:45 AM
  • News

    The Bear Saga CONTINUES

    [Click to view] A lot of people–such as the ones who maybe brought the place down–would probably like it if the name ‘Bear Stearns’ was never mentioned again. Well too bad for them because Charlie Gasparino has a book to write and he’s gone digging–DEEP. And diligent investigating has uncovered some dark shit regarding how […]

    / Sep 4, 2008 at 5:01 PM
  • News

    “It looks to me like Bear Stearns got riddled with bullets”

    We stand by our statement that no one killed Bear and then had a celebratory breakfast at Denny’s afterwards but apparently there is a vague chance someone killed Bear, and then went to a safe house to lay low, count his money and plan an attack on Lehman.* Bloomberg reports that on March 11, *someone* […]

    / Aug 11, 2008 at 12:36 PM
  • News

    Better Days

    Speaking of drugs: saw Pineapple Express last night– AH-MAZING. I highly suggest taking off early this afternoon and seeing it (in related news, synchronize your watches. We’re closing this thing up circa 3 today).

    / Aug 8, 2008 at 1:21 PM
  • News

    Rich Marin Is Back On The Internet!

    Just on Facebook and not as a movie critic, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction. It appears as though he signed up less than a month ago but the former Bear Stearns Asset Management chair is wasting no time. He’s amassed 66 friends*, a marginally impressive number for someone born in 1954, […]

    / Aug 5, 2008 at 12:21 PM
  • News

    Alan Schwartz’s Batcyle Requires A Sidecar

    Any Wall Street veteran worth his salt knows that the most important weapon with which to line his arsenal is a fall guy. Inevitably he’s going to fuck enough shit up that someone’s going to have to get fired and wouldn’t it be a shame if it were him? Holding senior execs accountable for their […]

    / Aug 5, 2008 at 10:17 AM
  • News

    Things At JPM Too Awkward For Schwartz To Stick Around

    Charlie Gasparino reports that former Bear CEO Alan “We’ve Got Liquidity Coming Out Of Every Orifice” Schwartz will leave Bearpont Morgan Stearns at the end of the summer. Schwartz has apparently been “working on some deals” at Bearpont, but decided–as did senior executives at the firm– that the fit wasn’t quite right. According to Gasparino, […]

    / Jul 31, 2008 at 10:13 AM
  • News

    The Silver Lining In The Implosion Of Bear Stearns

    When the history books (by which we mean Charlie Gasparino’s, When Mooks Fail) look back at the fall of Bear Stearns, there will be a lot to lambast BSC management over. A lot. A whole lot. There will be one thing we can thank them and Jimmy Cayne’s thrice daily caramel macchiato habit for, however, […]

    / Jul 21, 2008 at 10:47 AM
  • News

    Jim Cramer’s “If I Did It”

    “In retrospect, it was so easy to take down Bear.” Related: How To Kill A BankYour Ex-Wife Get Shorties [NYMag]

    / Jul 18, 2008 at 3:35 PM
  • News

    Hedge Funds Fled Bear Stearns Before The Rumors Hit

    We’re a bit of a one-trick pony around here today, fighting the good fight against all those nasty speculating reporters and bankers claiming rumors are having damaging effects on the market. But it’s getting late in the day. Bank of America is still pretending it doesn’t need to cut its dividend. Merrill still won’t admit […]

    / Jul 9, 2008 at 4:26 PM
  • News

    Dennis Kneale To Jail?

    Many of you were outraged at the comment made by Bearpont Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon to Charlie Rose that the SEC should investigate the “smoke” surrounding the fall of Bear Stearns, because the mixture of gases and suspended carbon particles supposedly suggests that not only was Jimmy Cayne getting high at the office, but that […]

    / Jul 9, 2008 at 12:38 PM

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