A New York lawyer who said he paid his ex-wife $2.7 million of the purported value of his account with Bernard Madoff can sue her to revise their 2006 agreement because of Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, an appeals court ruled. [Bloomberg]
Bernie Madoff
Great News For Anyone Looking To Stick It To Former Spouse Years After Divorce (Provided You Invested With Madoff)
By Bess LevinNeed a little Monday afternoon depression? Here’s some, courtesy of the Madoff family, re: this weekend’s news. Read more »
And it’ll take $6 billion, in non-consecutive, unmarked bills to make this allegation go away. Read more »
And now its yours to buy, along with his used sheets, Jimmy Buffett CD’s and more. Read more »
Old Wive’s Tale About A Man’s Shoe Size Being A Good Indicator Of Other Things Proven True In At Least One Circumstance
By Bess LevinExhibit A: The insane ramblings of former Madoff mistress Sheryl Weinstein with regard to Bernie’s penis:
“This man was not well-endowed.”– August 18, 2009
“Bernie had a very small penis. Not only was it on the short side, it was small in circumference. That he was now pointing it out to me was telling. It clearly caused him great angst. I wanted to be careful how I responded. Men and their penises have a strange and unique relationship.” — August 19, 2009
“On the bright side,” she concluded, because of its size, “oral sex would be a breeze.” August 20, 2009
Madoff had a penis so small that “it would fit easily inside the opening of a single-serving honey jar” that sits on a hotel room service breakfast tray, Weinstein said. — August 24, 2009
Exhibit B: His slippers being auctioned off November 13 by the US Marshals:
Size 8.5
Put Yourself In Bernie Madoff’s Slippers [Daily Intel]
CNBC’s Scott Cohn seems to suggest the Ponz Master is allowed nada. No conjugal visits.
Madoff receives regular visits from his wife, Ruth, who was also his high school sweetheart, according to a source. But these are hardly romantic encounters. The inmates and their visitors are all brought into a single, lounge-like room, where they can sit and talk, under the watchful eyes—and ears—of prison guards. While there are no walls or partitions separating the inmates from their visitors, physical contact is tightly restricted.
When Bernie Madoff confessed to his $50 billion Ponzi scheme, he didn’t just ruin his own life– he took his wife Ruth’s down with him. Though she has never faced charges and will never go to jail for it, Ruth Madoff has paid dearly for her husband’s decision to run a pretty sizable scam and then go public with it. As his fake returns financed the couple’s Manhattan penthouse, Montauk home, yacht and every other spot Ruth might go to max and relax and forget about all this, those were seized by the government, as was more spending money than she would’ve cared to part with. I don’t want to go too much into it, as the wound is not yet healed, so I’ll just remind you this woman was only given something like $2.5 million to get by. But worse than straddling the poverty line has been the blow to Ruth Madoff’s reputation. The woman can’t buy cheese without people mentioning that, her colorist won’t speak to her let alone give her that buttery blonde that needs to be maintained every 6 weeks, and even Ivan Boesky’s ex, who knows from the taint associated with banging white collar criminals, has been told to stay away. Basically, the woman is a leper. But she’s hoping that perhaps after hearing what she’s been up to, you’ll change your tune on ole Ruth Madoff. Read more »
A prison pal of Bernie Madoff’s was recently interviewed re: the Ponz Master. At one point, the inmate casually mentions that Berns hid about $9 billion to three “personal friends” before he turned himself in, but the unnamed source who must be credible spends the majority of the time drilling down to what’s going on up top, in that big ole dome piece of Madoff’s. Apparently, there are some things that upset him. The fact that his sons, Andy and Mark “You’re not our real father” Madoff haven’t spoken to him in almost two years isn’t one of them. I mean, sure, he wishes they did but it doesn’t plague him. He figures they’ll get over being mad at daddy soon enough. What does upset him are two slightly more serious issues. Read more »
All statements were communicated via his friends on the inside, for a recent New York article on how life’s been going in the big house.
1. “Fuck my victims” (Berns is of the opinion they’re a bunch of ingrates who he “…carried for twenty years, and now I’m doing 150 years.”) Read more »
Bernie Madoff Beaten Up By “Beefy” Inmate, Offering Investing Advice To Friends On The Inside
By Bess Levin
Remember back in December, when it was reported that Bernie Madoff got the shit beat out him, sustaining “facial fractures, broken ribs and a collapsed lung”? At the time, prison officials wouldn’t say the injuries were a result of a brawl in the yard and Berns is no snitch, so he wouldn’t say anything either. Today sources on the inside have confirmed that yes, Ponzi boy’s face was rearranged by a fellow inmate who believed that Madoff owed him money. Here’s what else we know about the attacker. He was a big fella and possibly a bit of a mama’s boy.
The first thing is please don’t forget to sign up for Mark’s daily newsletter. The second, which you’d think would be abundantly clear but apparently not: these guys are victims! Yeah, they were Bernie’s second and third in command at Ponzi Nation but victims! Victims “of their father’s terrible crimes.” Victims of his scam. Victims of the DNA he passed on their way. VIC-TIMS. Victims. Owing to their victim status, the boys have submitted a filing with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court, Southern District of New York, requesting that all complaints against them be dropped. Because it’s just not fair.

