Bernie Madoff

You know what has got to suck? When you decide to start charging stuff that doesn’t fall under “business expenses” to your corporate card and engage in a few other amateur hours scams that probably would have gone unnoticed (or, if discovered, not taken to the authorities because the boss had high tolerance for fraud) but then they are because the CEO of your firm had to go and engage in the largest Ponzi scheme on record, which shone an uncomfortable light on company personnel and all of the cheese, popcorn, and salsa of the month clubs you joined (for example).  Craig Kugel knows what we’re talking about. Read more »

  • 21 Mar 2012 at 3:27 PM

Bernie Madoff Not Feeling Wilpon Settlement

Convicted fraudster Bernie Madoff was “desperately disappointed” that the owners of the Mets chose to settle the fraud lawsuit brought on behalf of victims of Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, CBS News reported Wednesday. “He wrote me last weekend that he was so looking forward to that trial,” said Diane Henriques, author of the book “Wizard of Lies” which detailed Madoff’s fraud. “He was hoping that the Mets’ defense would make the case he was making to me that they had no reason to doubt Madoff.” The trustee for Madoff’s victims, Irving Picard, was set to argue at trial that Mets owner Fred Wilpon, once a friend of Madoff and a longtime investor, was willfully blind and chose to ignore signs that Madoff was producing fraudulent returns. Henriques told CBS that in recent emails from prison Madoff blasted Picard, who was seeking more than $300 million at trial. “He calls Picard a fool, an amateur, says he doesn’t understand the market, says he never understood the market, that he’s just lost on Wall Street,” Henriques said. [NYP]

For about a year now, Bernie Madoff has been holding court with various members of the press about something that’s been plaguing him: the fact that few people if any are willing to give credit where credit is due. Yes, he may have pleaded guilty to a $50 billion crime that ruined countless people’s lives, including those of his wife and children, one of whom committed suicide as a result, but he did a lot of other stuff too, like run a “successful business” for which he won lots of “industry awards” during his “legitimate years.” And, yet, everyone seems to forget all that when his name comes up, much like they conveniently forgot about how Mussolini made the trains run or time, or how Hitler built those wonderful autobahns, or how Ted Bundy made women feel special. And since he’s serving a 150 year sentence, Berns has had lots of time to ponder why his years of legitimate achievements go unmentioned and the one thing he keeps coming back to? Irving Picard, who’s pulled a fast one on you all, by suggesting that Bernie’s crime started wayyyyy before it did, when, in fact, Madoff Securities was only running a Ponzi scheme for barely even 20 years. Examine the evidence Madoff shared with Forbes contributor Diana B. Henriques via email:

Jan. 17, 2011 11:05 A.M. … Also remember that the U.S. Attorney admitted that they had no evidence that the crime started in the 80’s and could establish that Montauk and the N.Y. homes in Ruth’s name were not purchased with tainted funds …

Mar. 10, 2011 7:35 A.M. … I would love to know what evidence [Picard] has to date my crime back to 1983 … THE FACT IS THAT THERE IS NONE.

8:05 A.M. … I say once again the fraud started in the 90’s …

Mar. 18, 2011 9:26 A.M. … I guess I’m obsessed with this START OF CRIME ISSUE.

Don’t you see, idiots of the media?! That’s the real issue here. Not the crime itself but the start of the crime. Do the math. Read more »

Baseball Hall of Fame pitcher Sandy Koufax may testify for the owners of New York Mets at a civil trial accusing them of turning a blind eye to Bernard Madoff’s epic fraud. … According to the Mets owners, Koufax opened a Madoff account at Wilpon’s suggestion, and has been a lifelong friend of Wilpon, with whom he played high school baseball in Brooklyn, New York. “It strains credulity to think that Mr. Wilpon would expose his oldest and closest friend to potential financial ruin” by letting him invest with Madoff, if he knew Madoff was a fraud, the Mets owners said.

In recent years, the Securities and Exchange Commission has been known more for its fuck-ups than successes. The regulator took a pass on heeding the warning signals by Bernie Madoff himself that he was running a Ponzi scheme, it chose to go after David Einhorn rather than Allied Capital when the hedge fund manager suggested all was not right at the company and right now, as we type, the regulator is presumably fucking up in ways we cannot imagine but will hear about two years hence. Separately the Commission happens to employ a not insignificant number of people who like to look at porn all day, every day, in lieu of working, which perhaps could explain some of the slip-ups, though it’s a very chicken or egg situation.

In past times, none of this (the failures and the 24/7 surfing of www.ladyboyjuice.com, www.anal-sins.com, www.fuck-my-wife.com, among others) proposed a problem. Business as usual. Then Inspector General David Kotz had to come in and start asking people, “Why didn’t you think to follow up when Madoff said the whole thing was a scam?” and “Why, on Wednesday, August 20th did you make approximately 385 attempts to access a website called www.ladyboyx.com from your work computer?” And now, it’s war. Read more »

Barbara Walters told ABC’s “Good Morning America” on Thursday that she interviewed Madoff for two hours at the prison in Butner, N.C., where he’s serving a 150-year sentence. No cameras were allowed in the prison. Walters said Madoff told her he thought about suicide before being sent to prison, but since he’s been there he no longer thinks about it. Walters quoted Madoff as saying: “I feel safer here (in prison) than outside. I have people to talk to, no decisions to make. I know I will die in prison. I lived the last 20 years of my life in fear. Now, I have no fear because I’m no longer in control.” [AP, earlier]

  • 21 Oct 2011 at 4:08 PM

Bernie Madoff Couldn’t Be Happier Behind Bars

Maybe, you thought, Bernie Madoff wouldn’t like prison. Maybe, you thought, after a life of luxury, living in an 8X10 would cramp his style. Maybe, you thought, that he’d have trouble earning 14 cents an hour sweeping the floors, after spending several decades ‘earning’ millions making fake trades. Maybe, you thought, he wouldn’t take to an environment wherein taking your pants off means open season on your ass, after coming from a work environment where nobody blinked an eye when he regularly “dropped his trou in the office to ensure that the line of his shirt buttons was precisely vertical,” without the slightest threat of attack. Maybe, you thought, he’d be home sick. Maybe, you thought, he wouldn’t make any friends. Maybe, you thought, he wouldn’t get picked by any fraternities during rush. Well, you couldn’t be anymore wrong. Not only is Berns quickly adjusting and joining all sorts of groups, but he’s having the time of his life. Read more »

The Ponz Master apparently emailed Gasparino to tell him as much last night and to let him know that their previously scheduled date? CANCELED. Read more »