Bernie Madoff

CNBC’s Scott Cohn seems to suggest the Ponz Master is allowed nada. No conjugal visits.

Madoff receives regular visits from his wife, Ruth, who was also his high school sweetheart, according to a source. But these are hardly romantic encounters. The inmates and their visitors are all brought into a single, lounge-like room, where they can sit and talk, under the watchful eyes—and ears—of prison guards. While there are no walls or partitions separating the inmates from their visitors, physical contact is tightly restricted.

When Bernie Madoff confessed to his $50 billion Ponzi scheme, he didn’t just ruin his own life– he took his wife Ruth’s down with him. Though she has never faced charges and will never go to jail for it, Ruth Madoff has paid dearly for her husband’s decision to run a pretty sizable scam and then go public with it. As his fake returns financed the couple’s Manhattan penthouse, Montauk home, yacht and every other spot Ruth might go to max and relax and forget about all this, those were seized by the government, as was more spending money than she would’ve cared to part with. I don’t want to go too much into it, as the wound is not yet healed, so I’ll just remind you this woman was only given something like $2.5 million to get by. But worse than straddling the poverty line has been the blow to Ruth Madoff’s reputation. The woman can’t buy cheese without people mentioning that, her colorist won’t speak to her let alone give her that buttery blonde that needs to be maintained every 6 weeks, and even Ivan Boesky’s ex, who knows from the taint associated with banging white collar criminals, has been told to stay away. Basically, the woman is a leper. But she’s hoping that perhaps after hearing what she’s been up to, you’ll change your tune on ole Ruth Madoff. Continue reading »

A prison pal of Bernie Madoff’s was recently interviewed re: the Ponz Master. At one point, the inmate casually mentions that Berns hid about $9 billion to three “personal friends” before he turned himself in, but the unnamed source who must be credible spends the majority of the time drilling down to what’s going on up top, in that big ole dome piece of Madoff’s. Apparently, there are some things that upset him. The fact that his sons, Andy and Mark “You’re not our real father” Madoff haven’t spoken to him in almost two years isn’t one of them. I mean, sure, he wishes they did but it doesn’t plague him. He figures they’ll get over being mad at daddy soon enough. What does upset him are two slightly more serious issues. Continue reading »

Remember back in December, when it was reported that Bernie Madoff got the shit beat out him, sustaining “facial fractures, broken ribs and a collapsed lung”? At the time, prison officials wouldn’t say the injuries were a result of a brawl in the yard and Berns is no snitch, so he wouldn’t say anything either. Today sources on the inside have confirmed that yes, Ponzi boy’s face was rearranged by a fellow inmate who believed that Madoff owed him money. Here’s what else we know about the attacker. He was a big fella and possibly a bit of a mama’s boy.

Ugh, this guy.

The first thing is please don’t forget to sign up for Mark’s daily newsletter. The second, which you’d think would be abundantly clear but apparently not: these guys are victims! Yeah, they were Bernie’s second and third in command at Ponzi Nation but victims! Victims “of their father’s terrible crimes.” Victims of his scam. Victims of the DNA he passed on their way. VIC-TIMS. Victims. Owing to their victim status, the boys have submitted a filing with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court, Southern District of New York, requesting that all complaints against them be dropped. Because it’s just not fair.

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Log on to ladyboyjuice.com 348 times in one day? Yes. That, they’ve got a handle on. Words and stuff? Marko’s not yet convinced. (Yet another reason these people must die.)

The gang.

A few months ago there was a tear-jerker of a story about unemployed Americans having difficulty finding new jobs. It highlighted two in particular, who’d been out of work for over a year, due to the shuttering of their company. Their names were Mark and Andy Madoff and they were having a real tough go of it lately. Nobody wanted to hire them out of fear they’d stink up the place with the smell of fish. And, you know, the taint of their former employer. It was depressing as shit, and Mark had taken to crying during interviews. Recently, Andy, along with his girlfriend Catherine Hooper, started a ‘disaster recovery firm,’ the goal of which is to help people get their affairs in order in the event of a crisis, be it natural or the kind that comes at the hands of a small dick, like losing everything to a Ponzi scheme (just a for instance!). Then there was Mark, who had all but given up asking people to keep him in mind for jobs on a trading desk or in trading technology. By this point even the fish were gently suggesting he pack it in– but the little Madoff that could would not be defeated. And finally, his persistence has been rewarded! Continue reading »