*DJ CNBC ‘If You Go On Bloomberg We’ll Fucking Cut You’
*DJ CNBC ‘Brian Moynihan Knows What He Did’
*DJ CNBC ‘Will Tell Everyone That Walks In This Building That in 2R, Cohn, You’re Nothing But A Whore’
*DJ CNBC Suggests It Won’t Hesitate To Throw A Drink In The Face Of Anyone Seen Running Around Town With Another Network
*DJ No, CNBC Doesn’t Think It’s Overreacting
*DJ CNBC Will Show You Crazy
Random poll: is the guy or girl who sits next do you at work a) forgoing a chair and instead squatting in front of his/her computer b) doing lunges and push-ups behind you or c) breathing alarmingly heavily and sweating profusely post-deskside workout in which he or she shouted things like “Market’s going up! Heart rate’s going up!”? If you answered no to all of the above, your office is apparently miles behind the curve. According to a segment aired on Bloomberg TV earlier this morning, everyone on Wall Street is working out on the job. And not, say, in the office gym but on the floor, in the middle of the trading day, between rows, grunting and panting like no one is watching. Supposedly this twenty minute workout has a name (JCore) and if you’re worried about the effectiveness, don’t be: the guy who pioneered this thing practically has a heart attack during the demo so it must be working. To the skeptical bastards who would suggest no one besides the people featured in the story are actually doing this, you’re not alone: back in the studio a fellow anchor nearly blows everything by questioning if there are actually people who would get drenched in the middle of the day while yelling things like “You’re shooting me, you’re shooting your fat” in view of colleagues but nevermind you that.
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