• child's play


    In The Future, There Will Be Unlimited Bloomberg Screens

    Bloomberg LP has built a prototype of its data terminal hooked up to the virtual-reality headset Oculus Rift. The company plans to show off the technology—still a long way from becoming a real product—at the Bloomberg Next Big Thing Summit, which begins today in Sausalito, California. Putting on the bulky headset transports you to a […]

    / Jun 9, 2014 at 5:27 PM
  • News

    Former IBM Chief Will Look Into Bloomberg Employees Looking Into Bloomberg Subscriber Data

    Meet the guy who’s going to get to the bottom of the Bloomberg staff’s favorite hobby: Ex-IBM CEO Samuel Palmisano.

    / May 20, 2013 at 6:32 PM
  • Google image search for "zombie"


    Actually Lehman’s Bankruptcy Worked Out Well For A Lot Of People

    Bloomberg has a fantastic article today about how Lehman’s decaying corpse is suing a bunch of former clients, many of them wee and sympathetic nonprofits, who hosed Lehman when they terminated swaps in September 2008. Some of these lawsuits turn on disputes over when those clients, or their consultants, should have valued the swaps for […]

    / May 14, 2013 at 3:06 PM
  • News

    It Doesn’t Take Much To Brighten A Bloomberg Employee’s Day

    Even your and Alan Greespan’s inability to master the terminal’s most terribly elementary functions will do.

    / May 10, 2013 at 5:34 PM
  • Desserts_triple_choc_meltdown


    Bloomberg Employees Know, Openly Talk About Your Beloved Long-Haired Pekingese, Insatiable Appetite For Applebees’ Triple Chocolate Meltdown

    “Ex-Bloomberg employees (this Alphaville contributor included) have been aware of the power of UUID for a long time. It’s only one of the, erm, “informational advantages” that comes from working at Bloomberg. Another prominent one being the internal database reporters are required to contribute to on a regular basis. That database includes personal contact details […]

    / May 10, 2013 at 2:16 PM
  • A little meta.


    Bloomberg Wants Regulation To Be Fair And Consistent For Some Reason

    I confess that I have not followed the swap-futurization thing closely but my assumption was that the politico-regulatory view was: Swaps are evil instruments of financial instability and fraud and should be discouraged, and Listed futures are mostly harmless. I mean, look around. Swaps blew up AIG, Oakland, Monte dei Paschi, the U.S. housing market, […]

    / Apr 17, 2013 at 6:25 PM
  • Oh what now you trust me?


    Why Should Taxpayers Give Big Banks A Subsidy of $83 Billion Per Year, Or Any Other Made-Up Number For That Matter?

    Bloomberg has an editorial today about how the government is subsidizing the top ten U.S. banks by $83 billion a year and maybe it should stop doing that. Because the editorial is getting a lot of attention, and because it is wrong, let’s discuss it. Here is Bloomberg: Lately, economists have tried to pin down […]

    / Feb 21, 2013 at 1:41 PM
  • Pistols At Dawn

    Dick Bové Has A Message For Bloomberg BusinessWeek

    The short version: “I challenge you to a duel.” The long version: Spoiler alert: Bové doesn’t believe BBW has the balls to respond to him.

    / Sep 26, 2011 at 11:29 AM
  • News

    Is Bloomberg Trying To Start Shit With Meredith Whitney?

    Don’t want to jump to any conclusions here, only asking because that seems to be the case with today’s essay entitled “Whitney Falters in Trying to Repeat Success of Citigroup Call.”

    / Oct 6, 2010 at 10:55 AM
  • News

    Want To Send Your New Spouse A Message Via Cake?

    Hey lovebirds! Anyone getting married soon? Want to communicate something to your new husband or wife? Want it to be, “I work all the time and I’ll pencil you in when I can” and/or “I hate you”? Might we suggest the the following?

    / Sep 16, 2010 at 12:25 PM
  • News

    Bloomberg Help Desk Suddenly Too Good To Field Strip Club Request

    As you’ve probably experienced first-hand, Bloomberg runs a pretty full service help desk. In need of guidance? Bored? Horny? Log right on– that’s what they’re there for. Associates have been known to make restaurant recommendations, play rousing games of Hang Man, do entire large scale projects if one is able to thoroughly exasperate them by […]

    / Aug 13, 2010 at 9:45 AM
  • News

    Hottest Women In Business Television List Gets Lift

    Yesterday we asked you guys to tweak the list compiled by BroBible, of the hottest business bitches. And they took many of your suggestions to heart! Namely the lack of Bloomberg representation. Before we get into that, however, some notice should be paid to a little something called the Amanda Drury Phenomenon. It was pointed […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 12:10 PM
  • News

    Bloomberg Will AGAIN Provide Your Daily Ego Boost: Back By Popular Demand?

    Yesterday we mentioned the harrowing, life-shattering news that Bloomberg had removed the function that allowed you to see how many people were clicking your profile, and checking your shit out, as confirmed by a Help Desk representative. Today, it’s back. Not that we’re not thrilled for those you who enjoy the idea of people watching […]

    / Oct 29, 2009 at 10:33 AM
  • News

    Bloomberg Will No Longer Provide Your Daily Ego Boost

    Here’s some really awful news sure to shake you to the core. You know that function on your Bloomberg that let’s you see how many times your profile has been accessed? Of course you do, you check daily. Everyone does, even the big guys. It might not seem like that big a deal, and of […]

    / Oct 28, 2009 at 3:05 PM
  • News

    UBS Eagerly Pays Extortion Money

    A short bit of pondering on the (now settled) UBS case: “It will take a little time for agreements to be signed in final form,” Gibson told Gold today in a telephone conference call. Tax lawyers said they expect UBS to disclose thousands of accounts after giving the Internal Revenue Service data on 250 clients […]

    / Aug 12, 2009 at 10:21 AM
  • News

    The Bloomberg Report

    Tyler Durden over at Zero Hedge points out the (not so) subtle campaign by Bloomberg to bash the TALF. Heads I win. Tails they lose. Thanks TALF! Collection of anti-TALF banners after the jump. Bloomberg’s Vendetta With Geithner/TALF Continues [Zero Hedge]

    / May 29, 2009 at 2:36 PM
  • News

    Short Termism Hits Berkshire (Or Does It?)

    We couldn’t help but snicker a bit at the news, reported via Bloomberg, that Berkshire Hathaway CDS costs have “almost tripled in two months.” Bloomberg attributes the soaring CDS quote to a series of equity index puts Berkshire wrote some time ago. The puts have attracted a great deal of attention almost since their original […]

    / Nov 19, 2008 at 1:47 PM
  • News

    Merrill Selling Bloomberg, Gasparino Reports

    Merrill Lynch has sold its stake in Bloomberg LLP for $4.5 billion, CNBC’s Charlie Gasparino is reporting. No deal has yet been made for Merrill’s stake in Blackrock. Merrill has been under pressure to raise additional capital. But with investors in recent rounds of equity sales still stinging from sagging share prices and Merrill wary […]

    / Jul 16, 2008 at 4:01 PM
  • Layoffs

    City & State Budgets Divide On Wall Street Pessimism. Are Both Too Optimistic Anyway?

    Speaking of blind men, Governor Patterson’s budget office doesn’t think things on Wall Street will be that bad, at least compared to Mayor Bloomberg’s budget office.* Budgeteers in Albany and City Hall are both warning of fiscal calamity but Bloomberg’s are far gloomier than Patterson’s, the New York Sun reports. City officials are far more […]

    / May 6, 2008 at 12:50 PM
  • News

    Fringe Benefits To Getting Fired

    As you well know, UBS is scheduled to begin laying off some 8,000 employees tomorrow, just prior to accepting the “Heart of Gold Award” for community service unrelated to its own employees.* Bloomberg, it seems, is aware of the date as well:

    / May 5, 2008 at 11:47 AM
  • News

    Another Alphabet Soup Ready To Run Off The Rails

    If it’s a day that ends in the letter y, it’s probably time to learn about problems in another dark corner of the credit markets. On the lesson plan for today are financial creatures known as variable interest rate entities. These were known as special purpose vehicles, or SPVs, until Enron tarnished that designation for […]

    / Feb 27, 2008 at 10:02 AM

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