blow jobs

You may know “Mesmeralda,” AKA Marni Halasa, from her other roles as the Bank Reform Bitch, Better Banking Butterfly, and Ethical Fiscal Fairy, among other things. Today she paid a visit to NYS Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli’s office at 59 Maiden Lane to “push for divesting from fossil fuel investments in the NYS Common Retirement Fund” and “knock some sense into” Mr. DiNapoli, leaving a strongly worded note outside the building, in case her message wasn’t clear. Read more »

  • 14 May 2010 at 12:25 PM

Goldman Sachs Gets Only Endorsement It Needs

To everyone shrieking “Goldman Sachs broke the law,” “Goldman Sachs is evil,” “Goldman Sachs is this,” “Goldman Sachs is that,” to the SEC, to the peasants, to the window, to the wall, one voice of reason– the only one that counts– is here to say “Stuff it. These guys are cool.” His (nick)name is Bubba and in a wide-ranging interview with Maria Bartiromo that will air on CNBC this afternoon, he told her we should all consider getting off GS’s nuts (vis-à-vis BS lawsuits). Read more »

  • 19 Apr 2010 at 2:41 PM

Ashley Dupré On Love

A few months back, Eliot Spitzer gave us some Real Talk on love. Now the other half of the duo, Ashey Dupré, has weighed in on the topic. Sayeth Ash: “If you’re in love with someone, you want to treat them like the five year old. You want to cater to them and love them and hug them and like be emotionally there. Like you want to give them a blowjob! When you get married and, like, the wife doesn’t want to give a blow job anymore it’s like…[face].”

Ashley Dupre Has A Boyfriend [Daily Intel]

Earlier: This Is What Eliot Spitzer Paid $2,000 An Hour For (NOT SAFE FOR WORK)

  • 01 Mar 2010 at 11:11 AM
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Ping Jiang: “I Left SAC Capital On Good Terms”


Oh didja now big boy? So you’re saying you were happy to leave after they fired you in February 2008, for failing to make it rain like you used to? You didn’t shout “sexist pigs!” as you were escorted from the building? You didn’t even think it? While you marinade on that, let me just say this: it doesn’t matter. What matters is that the Maestro of the Whiteboard Marker is speaking. Finally, we can point a voice to the phrase “you’re going to have to give me a blow job if you want to make that trade.” While this clip doesn’t touch on Mr. J’s “trading philosophy” but as it seems like he’s actively getting out there and making the rounds in an effort to promote his new fund and raise a little capital, a gripping first person account can’t be too far behind. (Perhaps as part of some sort of Sex and the City-like bus tour, for those ponying up 100 million or more? Just a suggestion.) Also, while the interviewer seemingly avoids bringing up the issue we’d all like to discuss, please note the placement of the marker just over PJ’s shoulder. That was no accident. Well-played, ladies.
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  • 11 Dec 2009 at 1:40 PM

Vampire Squid Writer Goes There

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Even more outrageous, it specifically prohibited Congress from rejecting tax giveaways to Wall Street, as it did last year, by removing all congressional oversight of future bailouts. In fact, the resolution authority proposed by Frank was such a slurpingly obvious blow job of Wall Street that it provoked a revolt among his own committee members, with junior Democrats waging a spirited fight that restored congressional oversight to future bailouts, requires equity for taxpayer money and caps assistance to troubled firms at $150 billion.

Obama’s Big Sell-Out [Rolling Stone]

  • 09 Dec 2009 at 2:47 PM

Steve Cohen Magic Night: RECAP

saccapitalfleece.jpgSo, last night was the greatest night of my “professional” life, ever. Period. Done. If I didn’t need health insurance, I’d quit now. As I’d told you ladies weeks ago, Steve Cohen (the magician) was scheduled to perform a charity show, at The Action Center To End World Hunger. The even more magical aspect, however, was the fact that the event was being sponsored by the other Steve Cohen who, while not a magician by trade, makes the world a more magical place by simply existing. For both reasons, though mostly the latter, I obviously had to make it my business to be there.

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drudge_siren.gifIt feels like it’s been forever (real time: two years) since the SAC Capital female hormone case, doesn’t it? For those of you who shamefully forget, back in the fall of 2007, a former employee of the hedge fund, Andrew Tong, alleged that his boss, portfolio manager Ping Jiang, had forced him to take female hormone pills as part of a slightly unorthodox philosophy of Jiang’s that male traders needed to be more like women (not as aggressive, etc) in order to maximize returns. Tong also alleged that he was instructed by Jiang to wear dresses, and as a result of the pills, could not perform sexually with his wife, with whom he was trying to have a baby. Unfortunately, at the time, those were all the details we got. The court filings were sealed, and in early 2008, Jiang was fired (but not because of the tranny stuff! Because he didn’t make as much money as the year before, natch). Today, by way of a story by the always awesome reporter Matt Goldstein, we find out a bit more. Goldstein’s article is about the “most feared man on Wall Street,” if you do stuff like insider trade. He’s the guy leading the Galleon investigation for the FBI, and obviously his name is BJ Kang, because how could it not be?
According to Goldstein, court documents and sources indicate that BJ may be “focusing” on SAC next (as previously mentioned, one of the cooperating witnesses in the Galleon case, Choo Beng Lee, worked at the fund for a couple of years). And this isn’t the first time The Beej and SAC have crossed paths. In 2006, BJ was part of the team looking into alleged accounting irregularities at Fairfax Financial, and in 2007, BJ was tasked with looking into “a previously undisclosed investigation involving alleged trading irregularities” at SAC, opened by federal prosecutors in Brooklyn (which was later closed). One person BJ interviewed while checking things out? The lovely Andrew Tong. And speaking of the lady of the hour– litigation on TrannyGate ended last year, and the previously sealed court documents have been opened. Shall we take a peek inside? If we’re up to get down with some slightly disturbing shit, yes! For instance, thongs:
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And pet-names:
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And the obligatory sodomy sessions, golden showers:
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You’ll have to give me a blow job if you want to make that trade.

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Allegations that had been made prior to this afternoon: Bernanke and the Fed told Ken Lewis to keep Merrill’s losses in the lock-box or KL would lose his job/kidneys. Now, courtesy of Represenative Darrell Issa, we’ve got the exact same allegations, but with sinister turns of phrase like “inappropriate threats” and “cover-up.” He didn’t say anything further because, as we hope Bernanke will tell him in this voice tomorrow, “you got nothing.”
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Not sure why, but Steve Liesman, looking quite flustered and as though he was about to cry, read us a statement out of the Fed from April that said it/Bernanke acted with the “highest integrity” when it came to the BAC/MER deal. Don’t worry, Liesy-girl, Benji’s got this one.
And speaking of jobs, not of the smear but blow variety, Governor Sanford apparently got himself a few from his “dear friend” while in Argentina. Now get back to work.