bonuses

Portrait of an investment banker.

Portrait of an investment banker.

Those working in IBD are expected to do quite nicely for themselves come bonus communication day. Others would be smart to remember the ancient Chinese proverb: you’ll take what you get and you’ll like it/those multi-billion dollar fines aren’t going to pay for themselves. Read more »

  • 17 Nov 2014 at 10:00 AM
  • Banks

Bonus Watch ’15: Morgan Stanley

Not gonna be happy with this shit.Need a new car? New house? New lung? New wife? Brokers, be warned: You might want to spend your whole bonus next year in one place, but you will not be able to. Read more »

  • 13 Nov 2014 at 1:26 PM

Bonus Watch ’14: James Gorman Is Proud Of Y’All

James GormanIn late January, in the year of 2012, Morgan Stanley had a lot of unhappy employees on its hands. Bonuses had just been announced, and the majority of the team was displeased. But while some bank CEOs might’ve paid lip service to the group, telling them how important they are despite what their bonus might suggest, or promised the slight would be made up next year, or simply ignored the grumbling and gone about their merry way, Morgan Stanley chief James Gorman was having none of it. “STFU or GTFO,” he essentially told MS employees, during an appearance on BloombergTV, “and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.” (Actual words: “You’re naive, read the newspaper, No. 1, No. 2, if you put your compensation in a one-year context to define your overall level of happiness, you have a problem which is much bigger than the job. And No. 3, if you’re really unhappy, just leave. I mean, life’s too short.”)

Now, nearly three years later, with what was no doubt a tear in his eye, Gorman had this to say: Read more »

  • 13 Nov 2014 at 10:00 AM

Bonus Watch ’14: UBS

ubsairshipIt’s going to be a cold, dark bonus season at the Swiss bank, thanks to the foreign currency double-teamers who had to ruin things for the whole group. Read more »

  • 29 Oct 2014 at 12:53 PM

Bonus Watch ’14: US Bankers

…are feeling pretty good about their odds this year. Read more »

  • 20 Oct 2014 at 4:36 PM

Bonus Watch ’14: Babies Born In The Next 7.5 Hours

Hold my callsIf you’re inside a womb and have reached full-term by today, try and make your way to the exit before midnight tonight. Read more »

Bonus Watch ’14: Goldman Sachs

Thanks, guys.The Little Lloyds won’t be getting as much of that extra 25% in revenue the bank earned last quarter, but they’ll do alright. Read more »

Nice try attempting to pay employees bonuses while calling them “role-based allowances,” “role-based payments,” “a little something extra for your trouble,” etc, but the European Banking Authority is on to you. Read more »