Things have been going pretty nicely for Tony Hayward lately. He finally got taken off that bitch of a project his boss had him working on ’round the clock, thereby freeing up his time to really get out there and live life to the fullest, he was able to take in some nice yacht races and his sets at the Laugh Factory‘s latest open mic night went really, really well (NB: with the right execution, an oil spill joke can be quite the crowd pleaser). In fact, he was actually kicking around the idea of quitting his job entirely, and truly giving that stand-up a shot. Sure, it would be hard at first– this is something he’s never done this professionally, and it would be a while before he could begin to even think about possibly making a living off of it. But, he did have a nice golden parachute to look forward to, which could help the gap period before he really made it big. Or at least he thought he did. So this? Was a real kick in the pants. Continue reading »
BP
What's the deal with all this oil?
Finally!
Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg told Sky News Friday the oil major remains on track to carry out a June 4 plan to set up a new stand-alone unit to handle the Gulf of Mexico oil spill response operation under Bob Dudley, who currently serves as managing director for the company. BP CEO Tony Hayward announced the plan two weeks ago. Svanberg told Sky News that Hayward “is now handing over the operation to Bob Dudley” after leading the critical operation for eight weeks.
What should he do with all this new and richly deserved time? Other than work on his sets for next week’s open mic night at the Laugh Factory of course. [MarketWatch]
I don’t know if you’ve heard about this, but BP is in a bit of a tough spot right now. Some stuff went down in the Gulf Coast recently– would rather not rehash– and while it’s nothing to freak out about, things are a little tense. In the meantime the company needs, uh, just like a few clams (too soon for shellfish humor?) to tide itself over. Thinking like a few bill, give or take a few more bill. Continue reading »
Serious Question: Is Tony Hayward Even Going To Turn Around And Acknowledge The Lady Protestor Attempting To Rip Off Her Top?
By Bess Levin
Or is he just going to keep staring straight ahead and pretend there’s nothing going on behind him? (Bonus question: did the blond woman next to her go “she’s a stripper”?) Continue reading »
Who's got 2 thumbs, a jolly elfin visage, and can honestly say he loves ya baby?
They may have thrown a banker out on her rockin’ ass for being too damn hot but you know what? Citi has a heart. Whereas other firms will not hesitate to foreclose on people who aren’t even in default and then go the extra mile by stealing the homeowner’s beloved pet, the House of Vikram has decided to show some compassion. They’re pumping the brakes on foreclosing on people in areas close to the little slip up by BP, which you must admit was big of them.
On Friday we noted that Simmons and Company had upgraded BP to a buy, making the fact that its namesake, Matt Simmons, had been going around talking about nukes and BP not lasting through the summer slightly awkward. Also a tad uncomfortable was the fact that the company wrote its investors telling them to “disavow” any words that come out of Matt Simmons’ mouth. Well guess what, former pals? Simmons doesn’t need you– he doesn’t need any of you! Which is why he announced today he’s taking his insights and leaving, with a resignation effective June 30 (lotta stuff to clean out of the office, couldn’t be done in one day).
In fact, if you must know? Welch thinks Obama’s done a “horrible” job with this thing. Too many “photo-ops,” not enough “solutions.” If Welch were dealing with this, he says he’d set up the “five best people in exploration and production” in an office space across the street from the White House. He’d visit them “between 5 and 6 every night” to check their progress, and he wouldn’t let them come out until they’d figured out how to fix this thing. Unfortunately Welch has his hands tied getting his online business school off the ground, and doesn’t have the time to deal with himself.
- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
