Earlier this morning across the pond, Bob Diamond told the House of Commons Treasury Committee that while payouts will be distributed “responsibly,” Barclays employees will be awarded bonuses that reflect the work they’ve done this year and will not be dictated by some arbitrary cap. Why won’t BD listen to the repeated calls from the government and the people to limit pay? Because to do so would in essence be saying “sorry, we were wrong,” and guess what, Bub? The days when Barclays would get down on its hands and knees and beg for forgiveness from the masses are over. “There was a period of remorse and apology for banks,” Bobby said. “I think that period needs to be over.” And while we’re on the subject? Remind Bob again why exactly an institution like Barclays should even be apologizing for in the first place? It’s just not exactly clear to him given that you seem to have two types of banks in the UK- the kind like Barclays, which did nothing wrong and the kind like RBS, which can’t do anything right. And yet, they’re treated one and the same. Read more »
An employee of the "lapdance hangout," pleased with the turn of events.
I know I don’t need to tell you that there have been terrible consequences to the financial crisis. People have lost their homes. They’ve lost their jobs. Some have lost their wills to live. Many of those whose jobs remained intact saw their bonuses take a painful hit. One of the lesser known stories is that of the financial services employees who lost neither their jobs nor their sizable compensation package. They too have suffered, possibly even more so than the victims the media chose to focus on. Because they had the money to spend but couldn’t, for fear of coming off as insensitive, in these trying times. Oh, no, wouldn’t want to upset anyone, the thinking was. Today, however, some heartening news comes from across the pond. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.
A boom in hedonistic “greed is good” spending is sweeping through London after two years of recessionary restraint…West End stores, clubs and restaurants say they have been astounded by the sudden spike in guilt-free spending in recent weeks on a scale that would have been unthinkable even six months ago. Andrew Hawes, managing director of Bollinger UK, said it was currently impossible to get enough of its £120 a bottle Special Cuvée into Britain because demand is so strong. He said: “There was a time when people certainly didn’t want to be seen with an expensive bottle of champagne — but we’re past that phase now.”
It gets better. Read more »
“I cannot explain why I did this, it is completely out of character and I certainly did not intend to cause any distress to Lola or her owners,” Mary Bale, the woman who threw a Tabby cat in the trash last week, said. “It was a split second of misjudgment that has got completely out of control.” Miss Bale said she was just walking home on Saturday when she saw the cat and decided to play with it. But she told the Sun that she “suddenly thought it would be funny” to put it in the bin. “I did it as a joke because I thought it would be funny. I never thought it would be trapped, I expected it to wriggle out,” she said. A spokesman for the RSPCA said: “This is now an RSPCA case. Mary Bale has been interviewed by an RSPCA inspector and a full file is being compiled and will be sent for review by the prosecutions department.” While Miss Bale admitted she should not have done it, she said she did not deserve to be ‘hated’ by everyone and assumed the cat would find its own way out of the bin. Her mother also insisted the unmarried bank clerk “loved cats”- and had even kept them as pets as a child. [DM via BI]
Hire the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to stand behind your desk and do a little dance every time you put on a trade. Host midget-themed pool parties. Hunt and embalm endangered species. Have sausages named after you.
Celebrity endorsement works, at least if the celebrity involved is a glamorous sportsman like Usain Bolt, who yesterday announced the biggest deal ever, to help Puma flog its pumps and T-shirts. But can you really imagine Crispin Odey, the permanently pin-striped hedge fund guru, as a brand ambassador? Well, he is. The new branch of the Union Market organic grocery store in Fulham – a company that is run by Odey’s pal Tony Bromovsky, and which the fund manager has invested in – has added an “Odey Sausage” to its range, made from prime Middle White rare breed pork.
Congrats to all those who made it through yesterday employment intact. Having said that… Read more »
The previously rumored layoffs at BarCap, expected to affect 7% of the global staff, are apparently going down circa now in New York. That’s all the info we have right at the moment.
Re: the previously rumored cuts at BarCap, expected to supposedly affect 7% of the global headcount: Read more »
Think of Dick Fuld, and realize it could be worse. Read more »
So Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankfein, the former of whom was once one of Obama’s boys, the latter of whom the President just thought was a cute li’l fella especially when his face gets all scrunched up, were very publicly not invited to yesterday’s signing of the financial reform bill. The White House asked every other Wall Street CEO to attend and probably would’ve even let Ken Lewis in if for some reason he’d showed up. And while they’re perhaps hurt, while they definitely got together last night to hold a “fuck that guy” party of two, what Lloyd and Jamie are not going to do is act out and embarrass themselves. You’d like that to happen, I’m sure but somewhere between the 8th and 9th round they decided a couple of things. 1) That waitress was totallyyyy throwing LB the vibes and 2) That living well is the best revenge. Obama’s gonna see them in the press, doing all kinds of awesome shit, doing even better than when they were together and he’s gonna think “Man, I blew it.” (It’ll hurt even worse when he realizes the only person he has to console him are Vikram and the guy who replaced John Mack). First step in Operation You Made The Biggest Mistake Of Your Life Baby? The suggestion of an overseas affair. Read more »