Hire the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to stand behind your desk and do a little dance every time you put on a trade. Host midget-themed pool parties. Hunt and embalm endangered species. Have sausages named after you.
Celebrity endorsement works, at least if the celebrity involved is a glamorous sportsman like Usain Bolt, who yesterday announced the biggest deal ever, to help Puma flog its pumps and T-shirts. But can you really imagine Crispin Odey, the permanently pin-striped hedge fund guru, as a brand ambassador? Well, he is. The new branch of the Union Market organic grocery store in Fulham – a company that is run by Odey’s pal Tony Bromovsky, and which the fund manager has invested in – has added an “Odey Sausage” to its range, made from prime Middle White rare breed pork.
So Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankfein, the former of whom was once one of Obama’s boys, the latter of whom the President just thought was a cute li’l fella especially when his face gets all scrunched up, were very publicly not invited to yesterday’s signing of the financial reform bill. The White House asked every other Wall Street CEO to attend and probably would’ve even let Ken Lewis in if for some reason he’d showed up. And while they’re perhaps hurt, while they definitely got together last night to hold a “fuck that guy” party of two, what Lloyd and Jamie are not going to do is act out and embarrass themselves. You’d like that to happen, I’m sure but somewhere between the 8th and 9th round they decided a couple of things. 1) That waitress was totallyyyy throwing LB the vibes and 2) That living well is the best revenge. Obama’s gonna see them in the press, doing all kinds of awesome shit, doing even better than when they were together and he’s gonna think “Man, I blew it.” (It’ll hurt even worse when he realizes the only person he has to console him are Vikram and the guy who replaced John Mack). First step in Operation You Made The Biggest Mistake Of Your Life Baby? The suggestion of an overseas affair. Read more »
Gordon Dickson was once Bank of Scotland’s risk officer. His career spanned several decades and made him a nice chunk of money. Then the crisis happened, the shares he’d bought over thirty years collapsed, he fell into a depression and declared he wanted nothing to do with this godforsaken industry. But he needed to find meaning in something and he needed a source of income (having previously relied on dividend payments that were no longer). And that’s when he turned to pirates. Read more »