Brits

So Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankfein, the former of whom was once one of Obama’s boys, the latter of whom the President just thought was a cute li’l fella especially when his face gets all scrunched up, were very publicly not invited to yesterday’s signing of the financial reform bill. The White House asked every other Wall Street CEO to attend and probably would’ve even let Ken Lewis in if for some reason he’d showed up. And while they’re perhaps hurt, while they definitely got together last night to hold a “fuck that guy” party of two, what Lloyd and Jamie are not going to do is act out and embarrass themselves. You’d like that to happen, I’m sure but somewhere between the 8th and 9th round they decided a couple of things. 1) That waitress was totallyyyy throwing LB the vibes and 2) That living well is the best revenge. Obama’s gonna see them in the press, doing all kinds of awesome shit, doing even better than when they were together and he’s gonna think “Man, I blew it.” (It’ll hurt even worse when he realizes the only person he has to console him are Vikram and the guy who replaced John Mack). First step in Operation You Made The Biggest Mistake Of Your Life Baby? The suggestion of an overseas affair. Read more »

Gordon Dickson was once Bank of Scotland’s risk officer. His career spanned several decades and made him a nice chunk of money. Then the crisis happened, the shares he’d bought over thirty years collapsed, he fell into a depression and declared he wanted nothing to do with this godforsaken industry. But he needed to find meaning in something and he needed a source of income (having previously relied on dividend payments that were no longer). And that’s when he turned to pirates. Read more »

“The Chief Executive Of The British Bankers Association joins us on the line, Angela Knight. You’ve said that bankers are treated like lepers and carriers of bird flu. Do you not think that is no doubt because your members took huge sums of taxpayer money, caused a collapse of the economy, which is leading so some of the biggest cuts in public spending that we can ever remember and while the country suffers, your members take bonuses like nothing has happened? Is not then understandable that bankers are treated in that way?” [BBC]

  • 13 May 2010 at 9:45 AM

Gird Your Loins, Stamford

CNBC has stormed the castle. One of the queen’s bitches writes:

Don’t know if anyone’s noticed but CNBC is broadcasting from the den of mediocrity AKA the RBS trading floor throughout the day. We were told to be on our best behavior and to dress better than we’re paid. Tune in and watch us put the L in PnL!

Remember Jordan Wimmer and her boss Mark Lowe, manager of UK-based Nomos Capital? For those of you who (shamefully) need a recap, last fall Wimmer, a former investor relations girl who made £577,000 a year, sued Lowe for £4million, making a host of claims that included Lowe:

* Making jokes about the intelligence of blondes:

She said that Mr Lowe made derogatory ‘dumb blonde’ comments and would email ‘a series of offensive jokes’ to the whole team at Nomos. ‘They portrayed women, particularly blonde women, as objects and having no intelligence.’

* Employing unorthodox pick-up lines:

She claimed Mr Lowe…told her he did not find her attractive. However, she said he would still ‘invade her space’ and tried to kiss her at a hotel in Milan.

* Hiring prostitutes:

Miss Wimmer said her boss used the services of ‘high class prostitutes’ who he brought to business meetings. Describing one meeting in Hong Kong, she said: ‘Ling wore hot-pants that barely covered her buttocks, stilettos and no stockings.’

* And implying that the job of hooker and IR gal are basically interchangeable:

Miss Wimmer said she felt demeaned by Mr Lowe creating the impression that Ling ‘was part of the Nomos outfit’ and did the same job as her.

* The matter of having to be present while Lowe (the specimenat left) got a lap dance: Read more »

  • 02 Oct 2008 at 12:22 PM

Annoying The British: A Practitioner’s Guide

Congratulations! Your decision to annoy the British makes you part of a long and storied tradition of irritating foreigners with deep-rooted superiority complexes and a sense of smug entitlement. Their particular disposition makes the British a popular target. This program will give you the tools you need to successfully and expertly annoy the British in a cost effective manner.
The key to annoying the British is to understand the particular idiosyncrasies that make them vulnerable to agitation. Four consistently successful themes include:
1. The Irish
2. Competition or “Unsportsmanlike Play”
3. Internal Political Strife
4. Capital Flight
First Exercise:

The British Bankers Association is to deliver a letter to the Government complaining about the legislation extending state-backed guarantees for all deposits held in Irish banks.
In a statement, the Association says the move has distorted competition and put banks in other jurisdictions, especially in Northern Ireland, as a competitive disadvantage. British banks have complained that the legislation would distort competition.
There are reports that money is being moved to Irish institutions from the UK.

Scheme ‘problem for UK’ [RTE Business]

  • 23 Apr 2008 at 1:20 PM

British Banking Part II

The British are annoyed. It seems the brand London Interbank Offered Rate (“LIBOR”) has been somewhat sullied. Just about everyone sensitive to interest rates has had the bad news broken to them that LIBOR is the source of their ills. In the equation “LIBOR plus 2%” the “2%” isn’t the problem. LIBOR is.
Well, that’s not all of it. You see, the Brits are responsible for Structured Investment Vehicles too. Nicholas Sossidis and Stephen Partridge-Hicks are generally “blamed” for introducing us all to that particular bit balance sheet smoke and mirrors. You guessed it. Brits.
But then, it is sort of hard not to want to resent LIBOR as a structure, given its recently revealed susceptibility to manipulation by, ahem, Brits.
As for SIVs, there is nothing more reprehensible than giving Americans more excuses to move liabilities off of balance sheets without actually removing them off of balance sheets. Damn Brits.
NYBor [FT Alphaville]