• 30 Jul 2014 at 6:13 PM

Broker Junkets Are Back (But Only 70% As Drunk)

Time was, if you were a successful broker on Wall Street, your company sent you on trips to mingle with other top producing brokers, at which the only planned activities included playing golf, getting drunk, and falling ass-backward into the pool. Then the financial crisis hit and suddenly firms couldn’t afford the bad press associated with a gaggle of their employees passing out naked on the ninth hole at the Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay. Well now they can! Read more »

Well, technically they can, but it generally backfires after the brokers tell them to “check out the scoreboard– this is my world now, sweet cheeks, and you’re just livin’ in it.” Read more »

Early in their training, Edward Jones brings new brokers to its headquarters, where they practice knocking on doors and talking over finances in “role-play suites” designed to look like homes or offices, Kuehl said. They review tapes of themselves with coaches to improve their technique, he said. [Bloomberg]

Despite telling Morgan Stanley’s legal counsel that he and Anna Gristina/Scotland were merely “friends” as opposed to partners in a whorehouse that he was supposedly trying to help her line up financing for, broker David Walker, who has not been charged with anything, has been put on administrative leave “until the Manhattan district attorney’s office concludes its investigation.” [FBN, earlier]

Earlier this morning it was reported that Morgan Stanley “reviewed its visitor logs” upon hearing that one of its employees was supposedly conducting business with Anna Gristina/Scotland, a purveyor of prostitutes, when she was arrested this week. In the event the bank is still on the hunt, Charlie Gasparino claims to have a name. Read more »

  • 04 Jan 2011 at 11:33 AM

“Female Fighters” Wanted

Are you a lady financial services employee based in Chicago interested in getting in a boxing ring? Are you a male financial services employee who knows a lady that fits the previous description, who has either beat the shit out of you before or you simply get the sense it’s entirely possible she could? Read more »

From 2002 to 2007, Citi raised $2.8 billion from clients to invest in a couple of fund series called MAT Finance LLC, which invested in municipal bonds and was eventually leveraged 8:1 and Falcon, which invested in mortgage debt. Despite the former being marketed as “an attractive alternative to a bond index” and the latter receiving an S&P rating “equivalent to safe, medium-term government bonds,” anyone who bet on the funds lost what might be characterized as “a metric ass-ton of their money.”

For exampe, the funds a team of brokers from Smith Barney put their clients in fell an impressive 80% to 97% from May 2007 to March 2008. Though Citi claims no foul play and offered to cover approximately one-eighth of clients’ losses, the SEC still felt the need to launch an investigation into whether or not the bank’s employees adequately disclosed the funds’ risks and/or mismanaged them. And apparently investors are still pretty miffed about the whole thing, which one broker, Michael Johnston, intuited by the response he got from one when suggesting a sweet buyback deal that would’ve translated to the client only losing 72% and promising not to sue Citi. Read more »

There's something I've been meaning to tell you.

August 10, 2010, is the day that will go down in history as the one in which fed up employees left their jobs in style. Yesterday afternoon, Steven Slater, the greatest flight attendant of all time did it via obscenities-laced tirade/inflatable slide and just a few hours prior to that, Assistant Jenny was putting her own spin on things. Read more »