Brokers

Well, technically they can, but it generally backfires after the brokers tell them to “check out the scoreboard– this is my world now, sweet cheeks, and you’re just livin’ in it.” Read more »

Early in their training, Edward Jones brings new brokers to its headquarters, where they practice knocking on doors and talking over finances in “role-play suites” designed to look like homes or offices, Kuehl said. They review tapes of themselves with coaches to improve their technique, he said. [Bloomberg]

Despite telling Morgan Stanley’s legal counsel that he and Anna Gristina/Scotland were merely “friends” as opposed to partners in a whorehouse that he was supposedly trying to help her line up financing for, broker David Walker, who has not been charged with anything, has been put on administrative leave “until the Manhattan district attorney’s office concludes its investigation.” [FBN, earlier]

  • 04 Jan 2011 at 11:33 AM

“Female Fighters” Wanted

Are you a lady financial services employee based in Chicago interested in getting in a boxing ring? Are you a male financial services employee who knows a lady that fits the previous description, who has either beat the shit out of you before or you simply get the sense it’s entirely possible she could? Read more »

From 2002 to 2007, Citi raised $2.8 billion from clients to invest in a couple of fund series called MAT Finance LLC, which invested in municipal bonds and was eventually leveraged 8:1 and Falcon, which invested in mortgage debt. Despite the former being marketed as “an attractive alternative to a bond index” and the latter receiving an S&P rating “equivalent to safe, medium-term government bonds,” anyone who bet on the funds lost what might be characterized as “a metric ass-ton of their money.”

For exampe, the funds a team of brokers from Smith Barney put their clients in fell an impressive 80% to 97% from May 2007 to March 2008. Though Citi claims no foul play and offered to cover approximately one-eighth of clients’ losses, the SEC still felt the need to launch an investigation into whether or not the bank’s employees adequately disclosed the funds’ risks and/or mismanaged them. And apparently investors are still pretty miffed about the whole thing, which one broker, Michael Johnston, intuited by the response he got from one when suggesting a sweet buyback deal that would’ve translated to the client only losing 72% and promising not to sue Citi. Read more »

There's something I've been meaning to tell you.

August 10, 2010, is the day that will go down in history as the one in which fed up employees left their jobs in style. Yesterday afternoon, Steven Slater, the greatest flight attendant of all time did it via obscenities-laced tirade/inflatable slide and just a few hours prior to that, Assistant Jenny was putting her own spin on things. Read more »

Prudential Douglas Elliman broker Darren Sukenik has rules for people who come to his open houses: have the cash to buy what he’s selling, don’t waste his time, and do not bring god knows whatever is on your shoes into this apartment. In order to ensure prospective buyers abide by commandment number three, Sukenik typically insists people either take off their shoes before entering or cover them with “surgical booties.” Explaining his rationale, he told the Times, “[These] apartments are precious…you want to make it feel like a jewel box. You wouldn’t wear construction boots in a jewel box.”

Usually, people play by Sukenik’s rules. There is one group of people, however, who’ve brought some friction to the table.

Mr. Sukenik said that in the past, some buyers, especially hedge fund executives who view it “humbling” to bare their feet, have angrily stormed out.

Read more »