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As you may have heard, not too long ago, the government decided to crank up the heat on alleged insider traders, devoting considerable resources to nailing these guys and girls to the wall. Phone lines have been tapped, friendships destroyed. Last year, anyone who’d ever glanced in the direction of a person who’d had a 5 minute conversation with hedge fund manger Raj Rajaratnam went down, as U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York Preet Bharara sent the message that while you all may have been used to an era of loosey-goosey, he runs a much tighter ship. To that end, those committing non-violent crimes have been sent to jail for really, really long time, even if a unique constellation of ailments ravaging their bodies meant time behind bars would most certainly kill them. And with Bharara and Co showing no signs of easing up on their targets, some of you might be worried a stay in the big house may be in your future, having wittingly or unwittingly gotten on his bad side. But you need’t be! While Raj might tell you otherwise, according to at least one guy doing time, prison is not actually so bad. In fact, you might actually enjoy it. Read more »

As you may have heard, last evening Warren Buffett was in New York, to celebrate the re-opening of the 40/40 club with his good friend, Jay-Z. A photo was taken of the brothers from another mother, in which Jay-Z excitedly examines Warren’s tie, as Buffett slips his fingers into Z’s shirt sleeve. While the reason for the latter move is unclear at this time (some have speculated that WB’s hands may have been cold and so what? Is that weird or something?), we now have a bit more clarity re: Jay-Z’s interest in the Oracle’s threads. Read more »

The answer to BofA's problems?

Earlier today on CBNC, Jim Cramer pitched an idea that he thinks could end Bank of America’s problems: beg a billionaire to vouch for you. Just like Goldman Sachs got Warren Buffett and Citi has Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, Bank of America needs someone to get out there and say to the markets, “It’s okay, these guys are cool.” Personally, Cramer likes the idea of Carlos Slim, telling his colleagues “You know we forget he’s the world’s richest man…if the guy wants to make a statement that says America is the place to invest, hey, Bank of America…would that not be an interesting match?” Having said that, Slim may not be into the idea and backups should be considered. The following represents a very rough short list of people, whether they be billionaires or individuals who simply inspire confidence either through charm or fear with whom we think Brian Moynihan should consider taking a lunch. Read more »

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As their being charged in the Feds’ massive insider trading case would seem to suggest, former SAC Capital traders Donald Longueuil and Noah Freeman may have had a somewhat elastic view of securities laws. Should the accusations hold up, the two men ought to be punished accordingly. Today though, we’d like to put Freeman on trial for something far worse: his betrayal of the one guy who was always there for him, who literally got Freeman out of bed in his darkest days. A crime within a crime, if you will. Read more »

“With Nassim Taleb in Moscow. Dr Black Swan and Dr Doom,” Dr Doom tweets, referring to himself in the third person. Read more »

He hasn’t forgiven the President’s war crimes yet but this is progress. Read more »