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    News

    Ex-Wells Fargo Employee Defends Right Of All To Tell A Colleague “Many props bro – it’s all good in the hood biatchhhhh”

    The way former Wells Fargo research analyst Gregory Bolan sees it, the Securities and Exchange Commission’s suit against him and a former colleague– Joseph Ruggieri– isn’t just about alleged insider trading. Oh sure, it’s about that, too, but take a couple steps back and you’ll see that this thing is so much bigger. Bigger than […]

    / Jan 12, 2015 at 4:32 PM
  • News

    CFTC Commissioner Bart Chilton Uses Public Meeting On Dodd/Frank Rulemaking To Test Out Open Mic Night Bits

    In full:

    “Thank you Mr. Chairman. There are a couple of important events coming up that I want to share with you today. First, tonight the All-Star game will be played. Also, in just 11 days, we’ll have the two-year anniversary of the signing of the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act. Now, some of you are asking, “How’s he going to put these two totally divergent things together?” It’ll all make sense in a minute. Really.

    First, how many of you have heard of Bryce Harper? He’s the youngest position player ever chosen for an All Star game and plays for what is for many of you, your hometown team, the Washington Nats. He not only has a way with the bat but he seems to have a way with words, too. A couple weeks ago, a reporter asked him what he seemed to think was a silly question, and he responded by saying, “That’s a clown question, bro.” That answer went on T-shirts. It went on late-night TV. It went viral.

    Now, back to Dodd-Frank. There are those who say we don’t need it. Let’s repeal it—or at least parts of it. Let’s de-fund the agencies overseeing it so they can’t enforce it. Heck, let’s just take ‘em to court if we don’t like the line-up. Let’s take our bat and ball and go home. So, here’s the question they seem to be asking: “Do we even need Dodd-Frank?”

    Let’s not even talk about 2008 and the financial collapse and the real reason Dodd-Frank came along in the first place. Let’s talk about how MF Global (as some would suggest) got caught trying to steal. Let’s talk about JPMorgan’s losing streak. Let’s talk about Barclays’ balk. Do we need Dodd-Frank? That’s a clown question, bro.

    So yes, we need rules. We need the funding to enforce them. Plenty of folks still seem to think they can get around the rules. Plenty of folks in this town seem to think we don’t need umpires. Do we? That’s a clown question, bro.”

    That’s A Clown Question, Bro [CFTC]

    / Jul 11, 2012 at 2:50 PM
  • News

    A Tip For Would Be White-Collar Criminals Weighing Consequences Of Playing It Fast And Loose: “Prison Is Amazing”

    As you may have heard, not too long ago, the government decided to crank up the heat on alleged insider traders, devoting considerable resources to nailing these guys and girls to the wall. Phone lines have been tapped, friendships destroyed. Last year, anyone who’d ever glanced in the direction of a person who’d had a […]

    / Feb 2, 2012 at 2:23 PM
  • News

    Warren Buffett May Have 99 Problems But His Fashion Sense Ain’t One

    As you may have heard, last evening Warren Buffett was in New York, to celebrate the re-opening of the 40/40 club with his good friend, Jay-Z. A photo was taken of the brothers from another mother, in which Jay-Z excitedly examines Warren’s tie, as Buffett slips his fingers into Z’s shirt sleeve. While the reason […]

    / Jan 19, 2012 at 3:10 PM
  • News

    Who Wants To Put Their Guarantee On Bank Of America’s Box?

    Earlier today on CBNC, Jim Cramer pitched an idea that he thinks could end Bank of America’s problems: beg a billionaire to vouch for you. Just like Goldman Sachs got Warren Buffett and Citi has Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, Bank of America needs someone to get out there and say to the markets, “It’s okay, […]

    / Aug 24, 2011 at 12:44 PM
  • News

    Donald Longueuil And Noah ‘Judas’ Freeman: A Bromance Betrayed

    As their being charged in the Feds’ massive insider trading case would seem to suggest, former SAC Capital traders Donald Longueuil and Noah Freeman may have had a somewhat elastic view of securities laws. Should the accusations hold up, the two men ought to be punished accordingly. Today though, we’d like to put Freeman on […]

    / Feb 17, 2011 at 9:22 AM
  • News

    Caption Contest Wednesday: Does Anna Chapman Have An Appointment With Two Doctors Of The Economy?

    “With Nassim Taleb in Moscow. Dr Black Swan and Dr Doom,” Dr Doom tweets, referring to himself in the third person.

    / Feb 2, 2011 at 4:20 PM
  • News

    Is Obama Starting To Get On A Certain Private Equity Honcho’s Good Side?

    He hasn’t forgiven the President’s war crimes yet but this is progress.

    / Jan 26, 2011 at 10:42 AM
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    JPMorgan Exec: Our Feelings Notwithstanding, Obama’s Still Our Man

    Much has been made of the supposed falling out between President Obama and Wall Street since he was elected. What started out as beautiful bromance quickly appeared to devolve into public insults and both sides saying stuff like “he never mattered that much to me,” when you know such was not the case. Many have […]

    / Nov 1, 2010 at 9:57 AM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch: Fidelity Capital Employee Looking Out For His Pals

    From the mailbag:

    / Aug 16, 2010 at 5:30 PM
  • News

    Lenny Dykstra Defends Track Record

    This interview is mostly unintelligible on LD’s end but: “Go to the website– Nails Investments– and it says 160 wins, zero losses. You can’t say that unless it’s true. Otherwise they’ll put you in jail.” Also: “Yeah we have clients but we lost them all.” Plus: “Jim Cramer is the only one that’s been right.” […]

    / Aug 6, 2010 at 4:20 PM
  • News

    Ex-RBS Chief’s Best Friend Getting Out There To Randomly Defend The Guy, Making It About Anti-Semitism

    Almost a year and a half ago, a bunch of hoodlums attacked the Edinburgh home of former RBS chief Fred “The Shred” Goodwin, smashing several windows and the windshield of his Mercedes-Benz S600. At issue: the matter of FG’s £700,000/year pension despite the minor matter of the bank reporting the largest annual loss in British […]

    / Aug 3, 2010 at 12:05 PM
  • News

    LeBron James Should Feel Free To Give Warren Buffett A Call

    The ever so modest Oracle begs off the notion that LeBron needs his help but throws out the offer nevertheless, ensuring later today he’ll be getting a panicked, “Warren, it’s LeBron– I’m about to go out there. Should I or should I not kick things off by tea-bagging a camera man??”

    / Jul 8, 2010 at 11:34 AM
  • News

    Not Even Goldman Sachs Immune From Taking Part In “Icing” Phenom

    Perhaps you thought the employees of 200 West Street would rather take a Taibbi Pie to the face than participate in the new game the kids are playing these days, wherein you surprise a “bro” with a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, any time, any place and he has to get down on one knee and […]

    / May 21, 2010 at 1:00 PM
  • News

    How Will Eliot Spitzer Back Governor Paterson?

    As you’re aware, Governor Paterson won’t seek reelection ’cause of a few little bombshells in the Times. So Mr. P is having a press conference at 3 and we’re hoping he’s going to announce a Spitzer involvement in some capacity (as we wrote last week, the Gov has been asking Spitzer to “advise” him on […]

    / Feb 26, 2010 at 2:20 PM
  • News

    Caption Contest Tuesday

    / Jan 26, 2010 at 10:30 AM
  • News

    Caption Contest Monday

    Dr. Doom and the man responsible for Wall Street 2, Oliver Stone, celebrate something, the day after Halloween. [Gawker]

    / Nov 2, 2009 at 12:42 PM

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