In a basement at 200 West late last night, Lloyd Blankfein named the firm’s new partners. Blindfolded and naked, they pledged their devotion to the firm and promised to share in its huge-ass profits. At the stroke of midnight, as a baby seal barked in the corner, they were inducted into the Brotherhood of the Sach. If you see one of the following people on the street, setting off metal detectors within a 5 mile radius with the gold rods in their pants, ask them if they need anything– be it a mint, a fluffer, a mouth to stuff and discard bills in denominations of less than 100 in or a body to walk across so they needn’t dirty their shoes by letting them touch the street. And for god’s sake, BOW DOWN– you are in the presence of greatness. Continue reading »