burns

  • News

    Goldman Sachs Recommends JP Morgan Find A Good Chop Shop

    JPMorgan Chase & Co.’s parts are probably worth more to investors than the whole after regulators proposed tougher rules penalizing firms for size and complexity, according to Goldman Sachs Group Inc. JPMorgan could unlock value by splitting its four main businesses or dividing into consumer and institutional companies, Goldman Sachs analysts led by Richard Ramsden […]

    / Jan 5, 2015 at 5:12 PM
  • News

    Laughed THROUGH THE TEARS, That Is

    On Thursday night Stephen Schwarzman delivered the keynote speech at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, an annual Catholic charity fund-raiser named in honor of the former governor of New York. By tradition, the keynote speaker of the 66-year-old event is supposed to deliver a mostly humorous speech, and Mr. Schwarzman’s roughly 15-minute peroration […]

    / Oct 21, 2011 at 10:45 AM
  • News

    BusinessWeek Subtly Suggests Tim Geithner Might Want To Have Some Work Done

    Since becoming Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner has taken a whole lot of shit, from both the outside world and internally at work. His boss makes “jokes” in public about dogs pissing on him, chief executives openly speak of his uselessness and hardly a day goes by without a story claiming he’s getting fired and replaced […]

    / Dec 17, 2010 at 10:16 AM
  • News

    Nouriel Roubini: Spain “Is A Big Elephant”

    “It is quite likely that Portugal” will be next in line for a financial assistance, Roubini said today in Prague at a conference of chief executive officers sponsored by ING Groep NV. “The big elephant in the room is not Portugal but, of course, it’s Spain. There is not enough official money to bailout Spain […]

    / Nov 29, 2010 at 11:17 AM
  • News

    T. Boone Pickens Ruins GM’s IPO Eve

    “No, I will probably not by shares of GM,” TBP told Bloomberg TV. “I remember what happened to the equity holders there one time. I’d buy Ford.”

    / Nov 17, 2010 at 2:40 PM
  • News

    Investors Under The Age Of 34 Bigger Pansies Than Previously Assumed When It Comes To Taking On Risk

    This is the sound of the Wall Street Journal calling all 18-34 year-old’s pussies.

    / Aug 3, 2010 at 4:43 PM
  • News

    John Mack Thinks Danny DeVito Should Play Lloyd Blankfein In Film Version Of Financial Crisis

    As previously mentioned two seconds ago, HBO has bought the rights to Andrew Ross Sorkin’s Too Big To Fail. Last night at a talk hosted by Stern, John Mack mentioned the flick, and asked Paulson who he thought should play him. Paulson said “a young Paul Newman,” which, actually, would’ve be perfect if the movie […]

    / Mar 4, 2010 at 12:45 PM
  • News

    Sad Trombones At Citigroup

    Citigroup, having suffered a blow to its pride on Friday, now getting kicked while it’s down by Dow Jones. C out, TRV in. Citigroup is being removed as “the bank is in the midst of a substantial restructuring which will see the government with a large and ongoing stake,” said Dow Jones editor-in-chief Robert Thomson. […]

    / Jun 1, 2009 at 9:32 AM

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