Oh hell no. No cancer for Little B, apparently, and supposedly the Post story was “riddled with inaccuracies,” meaning Bernie may not in fact be treated to delicious wrap sandwiches on the reg, or making friends with the “homosexual posse” on the inside, or it’s that bit about the relationships being “strictly platonic” that’s a crock, or the part about him scoring the lead it Carousel. It’s all hugely distressing as we were quite pleased to learn this morning that Berns was spending his days getting high, being wined and dined, mixing it up some hard bodies and dancing like nobody’s watching. I don’t like the idea of taking away even one aspect of the picture we were painted but apparently we have to. So let’s get into this.

I bet a lot of you probably thought Hank Paulson, like Charlie Gasparino, was busy penning the definitive book on this crisis. So busy in fact, that he didn’t have time address questions regarding being in bed with Goldman while Treasury Secretary. Well think again, fools, ’cause we were straight up lied to. Heidi Moore reports:

Daily Intel has confirmed that Paulson’s memoirs are being written by Michael Carroll, an award-winning financial journalist who until recently was the editor of Institutional Investor.
Carroll is known as a talented wordsmith, a writer with a literary bent and a penchant for the more vivid portrayals of Wall Street’s personalities when they had the kind of swagger and importance that’s often missing from today’s armies of besuited bankers filing into Wal-Mart megabanks. He is often skeptical and more than a little cutting in his metaphors; in December 2007, as the credit crisis was settling in, he compared Wall Street’s refusal to bend to reality to the hubris of Norma Desmond, the fictional star of Sunset Boulevard. We attempted to contact him for this story, but like Paulson, Carroll doesn’t use e-mail. Wouldn’t matter, anyway: According to Paulson’s office, Carroll is busy writing and unavailable to comment.

I know this looks bad, but so long as we don’t find out he had someone else write the lyrics to his latest album, it’s something we’re prepared to forgive.