9:07 Why does Mack look huge?
9:09 Blankfein: Goldman Sachs was started in 1869 by a guy named Marcus Goldman. Today, we may or may not employ a guy related by blood to Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino.
9:11 Blankfein: “size matters.” (Sheryl Weinstein nods gravely while watching from home.)
9:16 FYI, Goldman was profitable in 2008, which is more than I can say for some people. Also, we’ve been reducing risk since 2007, don’t know if you knew that.
9:20 First of nine hundred instances in which the panelists are told to press the button and speak into the mic (they’re apparently “distance sensitive”).
9:21 Jamie Dimon’s here for “brutal honesty.” And he doesn’t blame the regulators.
9:29 John Mack: these last two years have been wild. Let me walk you through it, starting with the night I told Geithner to go fuck himself.
9:35: Mack wants a systemic risk regulator to pry the crackpipe out of his colleagues’ hands.
9:38 Brian Moynihan is excited to be sitting at the big kid’s table. Ken Lewis is excited to be sleeping in, again.
9:40 Bonuses at BAC will be higher than last year, but nothing too crazy, like I hear they’ll be over at this guy’s shop [motions to LB]
9:43 The vast majority of Bank of America employees were not responsible for our fuck ups. In fact, only one comes to mind, who’s no longer with us.
Questions
9:45 Mr. Blankfein, tell us about two times that you screwed up, real bad, and why you’re sorry. And if you could actually say “I’m sorry” again, I think watching would love that. I want to hear you say it. And I want you to dance puppet, dance.
9:52 LLOYD IS GONNA CUT A BITCH!!

Continue reading »