career paths

As you may have heard, because you’ve read the reports reports or picked up on the Morse code message he’s blinked out during every appearance on CNBC or he threw himself on the hood of your car and screamed “Get me outta here” the last time you drove up to the Treasury building, Tim Geithner is ready to say good-bye to Washington. Has been for some time, in fact, but previous requests to go home were all denied. Now that his bosses are supposedly going to allow him to leave in the event Obama is reelected, many are wondering what will be next for TG. Despite having spent the majority of his career in public service and giving the impression that he has no desire to work for Wall Street, Bloomberg is thinking that with the albatross that is his unsellable Larchmont house around his neck, a family, and college tuition to pay, Geithner may not have a choice. Read more »

Have you had it with this place? Do you want to get out of here and by here we mean not only Wall Street but, like, the Northern Hemisphere/your life/your gender/an existence that closely resembles hell/etc? If your idea of change is “taking some time off to travel” or “figuring out what I really want to do,” let us stop you right now-  our time is precious and you’re wasting it. Alternatively, if your idea of change is drinking goat blood and then vomiting it back up, we can help. Read more »

Chief Executive Officer/Sniffer

As the owner of a construction business, the housing market’s turn for the worst is 2008 spelled trouble for David Llwelleyn. After he was forced to close up shop, Llwelleyn found himself at a crossroads faced by many victims of the recession– take some soulless gig just because it was available and paid the bills or use the time to figure out what he really wanted to do with his life.

They say when one is trying to determine what that might be, the best thing is to do what you love– it won’t feel like a job, you’ll be able to put in many more hours than if it were just another slog to the finish and along the way, all the hard work might pay off. When Llwelleyn sat down to figure out which passion he conceivably turn into a career, he kept coming back to one thing– his love of crack. He picked himself up a business partner and it was off to the races.

The 49-year-old Scotsman didn’t go into the illegal drug trade. Instead, he entered the so-called “legal high” business—a burgeoning industry producing new psychoactive powders and pills that are marketed as “not for human consumption.” Mr. Llewellyn, a self-described former crack addict, started out making mephedrone, a stimulant also known as Meow Meow that was already popular with the European clubbing set. Once governments began banning it earlier this year, Mr. Llewellyn and a chemistry-savvy partner started selling something they dubbed Nopaine—a stimulant they concocted by tweaking the molecular structure of the attention-deficit drug Ritalin.

But is the knock-off stuff as good as the real deal? Nopaine “is every bit as good as cocaine,” Llewellyn assures. “You can freebase it. You can snort it like crack.” As for other questions potential investors might have about the business, Llewellyn has answers. Read more »

“It was a business decision. The economics of sex were appealing. I worked in the back office of a hedge fund, making six figures but I was always taking crap from everyone. I put together a market analysis on the sex industry and it looked to be a lucrative appealing endeavor.” Read more »

jamiedimonbeer.jpgYesterday’s announcement out of JPMorgan re: who will potentially take over in the event Jamie Dimon “unexpectedly departs or is incapacitated” has those who track such things attempting to figure out what all this means for our favorite Boy Toy CEO’s future. Is he planning on leaving tomorrow or will he stay the course of being buried in the building? Is he headed to DC to relieve Tim Geithner of his duties or to open Nickels and Dimons, a dive bar on the ground floor of 383 Madison, where all shots are $2? We’re on board with the latter scenario, but Dick Bové is thinking otherwise.

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