Carl Icahn

If You Should Happen To Run In To Carl Icahn…

At Marea, perhaps. Or in a rough-and-tumble Queens schoolyard. Or at a hedge-fund conference. Or on Twitter. Wherever. A word to the wise: Don’t try to break the ice with a crack about certain insider-trading investigations involving Uncle Carl and certain famed golfers. Read more »

When the BlackRock chief wrote about his lament about the “short-term demands of the capital markets,” he didn’t mention anyone by name. But Carl Icahn can read between lines like “too many companies have cut capital expenditure and even increased debt to boost dividends and increase share buybacks,” and he can’t help but notice that they contain the letters C-A-R-L-I-C-A-H-N.

Now, in the old days, Carl and Larry would have just had it out in a tough Queens schoolyard, but Icahn has been forced to settle for the next-best thing. Read more »

At any other time, fine, Billy Walters could deal with the fact that federal authorities are reportedly “examining a series of well-timed trades” made by him and golfer Phil Mickelson, that Carl Icahn may or may not have mentioned in passing to the the men. But not now. Not when he’s gearing up for the fourth annual “World’s Sexiest Golf Tournament,” which is less than three months away and needs his undivided attention. Read more »

A Management Hall of Fame exists, at least on the internet and in Mario Gabelli’s imagination. And Carl Icahn will be enshrined therein. Read more »

He apparently decided to forgive Bill Ackman even though a certain crybaby cost him a few bucks in the first quarter. Read more »

Uncle Carl is loving the totally legitimate diet-shake company’s $266 million share buyback. Bill Ackman hasn’t weighed in on the racist pyramid scheme’s move, but it is safe to say he’s not impressed. Read more »

And that’s why, despite Carl Icahn’s comments about him in the past, Bill Ackman is ready to take their newfound friendship to the next level (and why Icahn, who Ackman once described as a liar who takes advantage of little people probably feels the same way). Read more »