Okay so you’re a private equity fund and you’ve filed to go public. GOTCHA:

Q. You tout the managerial-discipline, incentive-alignment and cost-saving benefits of taking companies out of the public equity markets. Yet you’re going public with your own company. Aren’t you just obviously destroying value to top-tick the market???
A. No, no, it’s not like that, see …
Q. TOP. TICK. THE. MARKET.
A. You got me. Never mind.

If this line of thinking resonates with you – and, like, I guess, right? – then you should get a certain amount of joy out of this:

Carlyle Group LP, the Washington- based buyout company that’s preparing to go public, is seeking to bar its future shareholders from filing individual and class- action lawsuits.

The firm revised its governing documents last week to say that investors who purchase company shares must settle any subsequent claims against Carlyle through arbitration in Wilmington, Delaware. That could limit the ability of stockholders to win big awards for securities-law violations such as fraud, several attorneys said.

Bloomberg, and Steven Davidoff at DealBook, have some fun with the question: can they do that? (Answer: maybe not!) Also with the question: isn’t that kind of mean? Davidoff writes:
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